Awptickes' Journey to the US and A

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awptickes

unimpressed by you
VIP
Ok. I've hit the 5-year mark in Europe, which short-story means that my employer (The Federal Government) is sending me home to become re-aclimated to the US and A.

I fly tomorrow morning, at 0710 Zulu, or 0110AM NY time.

I haven't had the best of luck entering the united states, the few times I've come back. The last time I came to the US, I had all of my bags pawwed through on the table at check-in, and everthing got swapped, to include my socks and underwear. I don't know what it is, nobody else I've talked to has these problems. I always travel on official orders, with my Official Passport, so it's not like I'm using an Israli passport or anything like that.

Two years ago, I flew into Newark, and they were waiting for me when I checked in. They held the plane, and pulled me into a back room, and gave me the "twice over and under" complete with gloves. But I didn't miss my flight. Leaving the country that time, I had to go back into a room (This was in the Denver airport) and open my suitcases, and set everything out on a table covered with plastic while two beefy guys watched, then they had me leave the room, and come back in a few minutes. While I was out of the room, they went through the 'normal' clothes checks with everything I had on. Oh well, I'm used to it now.

I've petitioned the Department of State, and TSA to remove me from whatever lists they have me on in writing on a number of occasions. So far I've gotten confirmation letters that they received my request, but nothing else.


I fly tomorrow, and now I'm documenting my baggage online, on this site. Here are pictures. Use this as a how-to guide. How not to pack I guess. How not to look. I don't know. I've all but given up, and now I let the security do whatever they want. I do whatever they ask, no matter what language they ask in.

Stay tuned for pictures of everything I'm packing. It's not an issue, since at least a dozen people will see everything in the airport.
 
First bag.
20081025-DSC_0001.jpg

20081025-DSC_0002.jpg


Here's my second bag.

20081025-DSC_0062.jpg

20081025-DSC_0063.jpg



Carry-on coming soon.
 
Seats Confirmed.

FRA->ORD Flight UA0945
Seat 12D

Boards at 0725
Departs at 0810

ETA 1135 Local

20081025-DSC_0001-1.jpg


ORD->BWI Flight UA1236
Seat 4B

Boards at 1323
Departs at 1353

ETA 1649 Local

20081025-DSC_0002-1.jpg
 
My mom works for the TSA. The ones who check your shit at the airport. She pretty much says if you get checked like that all the time you might be on that "list" for life. You must have something on a record somewhere. If you always cooperate you have a chance of getting off of it.

Oh, and good luck!^^/.
 
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You will be stopped for this. 100% probability. You have a metal bottle, a bunch of wiring, a multi-meter, tools, duct tape, batteries, and seating charts for the airplane. After seeing all of this, they would be completely bat shit insane for letting you go through unchecked. You will certainly be searched and questioned about these items, and I would be willing to bet they make you dump the bottle and the duct tape at the very least.

Seriously.. This has to be a joke.
 
The bottle is empty. But srsly. It's checked baggage. It's not like anything is dangerous.

I'm probably going to mail the tools. Hopefully it won't cost that much. I brought them over here in my checked bags.

My carry on won't have much in it. Probably just a couple magazines, my laptop, iPods, cell phones, and my meds.

@phyregod:
I have the drawings because I can never find my fucking seat, or the bathroom. Not a big deal. Many of the flight-guide books have pictures of the layout. I don't have any batteries. That's one thing I don't like to bring on planes. The first time I had an extra laptop battery on a Domestic flight (This was before the whole "Dell laptops are exploding, oh noes!" deal.) I got stopped with it. They just looked at it, then said "O.K."

@Korax:
Yeah, I've petitioned to be removed from the lists, but all I've gotten is a letter back saying basicly "Your request has been received. We're not going to divulge if you are on the list, but in a global war on terror...security of the home-front is of the utmost importance...... yada yada."
 
TSA: What To Know Before You Go

^^ Read up. This is why you get a cavity search every time you walk through there.

Last January, I flew to DC with nothing but my laptop and DSLR. I still got "extra checked". I shipped my clothes to the hotel FedEx beforehand.

When I fly around the rest of the world, I never get checked. I can go anywhere in Europe and the Med and not get extra checked. But when I enter the US, or fly out of the US, I always get the special treatment.


Let me clarify: I'm not worried about flying out of Frankfurt, I'm worried about the second flight, the domestic flight. That's where I always get nailed. It's always the second hop inside the US.


EDIT: The tools are all in a box, ready to be shipped Monday.
 
TSA Link:
Item Carry on Checked
Tools (seven inches or less in length) Yes Yes
Screwdrivers (seven inches or less in length) Yes Yes
Wrenches and Pliers (seven inches or less in length) Yes Yes

This is how I determined if I could bring the tools on.
 
If this isn't a joke then just leave the second bag off... pack your clothes and buy some nasal spray when you get here or back to Europe...
 
Liquids under 3 ounces are fine. In a zip-lock baggie.

And whats with all the towels? You pack very strangely. Put all the tools in one bag, to be checked. Stuff them all into the craftsman case if you can. That looks less "iffy". Dump the rain-x and the duct tape. Those are just going to be red flags. As well as the seating chart. You'd have to be half retarded to not be able to find seat "B4". Certainly after drawing it out.
 
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Yeah, the RainX was a joke. It's flammable.

Oh, I'm bringing two bottles of beer too. One is for Airjockey for holding the car for me. <3
 
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