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jamesA

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I need some "how to start things up" advice. I've never been a ladies man, although I've given my friends some awesome advice in the past.

Some history, BDN and I used to work at a company called Ingram Books. I'd worked there for a short time when I started to notice Sarah N. She was so gorgeous. BDN will agree, but being the guy with the mindset I had, I never wanted to bug her, talk to her, or hit on her because every single guy in the place did all the time. She is very attractive, but thats not what drew me to her.

After 6 months of pretty much ignoring her, I was doing some after hours non-production scale work as she was starting and we started talking. One of the first things she said was "I didn't think you liked me because you never talked to me."

It still sticks out in my mind because a woman this beautiful can't possibly be this humble.

Another day I was talking with another Sarah about going to taco bell and Sarah N., out of the blue, said I'd go to taco bell with you to me. Once again, I was just astonished. I didn't know what to say to that.

When the day we got off early came, I'd left a note on Sarah N's. car with my phone number and it basically said call me when you're off and we'll hang out at taco bell. After that I waited up around the area for an hour and then finally went home when I got impatient. As I was walking up to my old apartment my phone rang. It was her, when I mistakenly told her I had gotten home, she said nevermind then, I wouldn't want to make you drive all the way back here. Being the dumbass that I was I said ok and hung up.

I found out she works for the same company that one of my good friends does. I asked him if he knew her, and he said he knew of her and actually went through training with her at the same time.


Here it is 5 years later, I'd found her on facebook and sent her this message.

I still owe you some taco bell. I don't know if you remember me, but we worked at ingram together. Since I found you on face book I can't stop thinking about how great of a person you were, so beautiful and humble. You left me astonished over your personality that I'd texted you 2-3 weeks later in 2005.

I had left you a note with my phone number on your car and said call me if you wanted to go to taco bell with me. Well when you had called I'd already gotten home and you said don't worry about it. I think that going home that day was the single greatest mistake I'd ever made.

I want to take you out to eat sometime, only it won't be to taco bell. It would be some place nicer, where we might be able to talk and spend a little more time. Give me a call some time at xxx-xxx-xxxx. I know its late at night, and I don't know what you'll think about this message or when you'll get it, but I feel like if I don't send you this then I'm going to regret it. If/When you call, I hope to be able to explain in more detail of why this message is taking place.

Talk to you soon,

James

I seriously hope I'm not fucking up with this message, but its the best I can come up with.

Give me some advice guys. It's been a while since I've dealt with a woman, let alone one this special and awesome.

How do I go about trying to be a part of her life without fucking anything up?
 
You shoulda added her, found out her status, and then proceeded from there. That message could either go over fairly well, or reeeeeeeeally bad. I wouldnt open with all of that. See if she remembers you for an opening. Talk it up a bit. Then ask her out. If shes got a b/f or whatever that strong of an opening could end it there. But then again, I've never been to great with the ladies either. Im kind of in your boat now. Except the one I screwed up big time with is now married w/kids.
 
Her status says single as of last weekend. I forgot to mention that, sorry.
 
Did you already send that, or are you working on what to say?
 
Yeah some of the shit on there is pretty hilarious.

But yeah, I sent it. It took me an hour just sitting there looking at it debating before I finally did.
 
Well. Putting yourself out there is half the battle. Not exactly how I would have done it but cool deal.
 
Wow, that's stepping up man. I hope it turns out the way you'd like it to. I know it wasn't in person or over the phone, but still it was pretty ballsy to actually send the message.
 
Yeah, I probably wouldn't have jumped right into it like that, I probably would have just said hello and found out if she remembered you before launching into all of that.

But, like the others said, it was definitely a ballsy move. Let us know how it goes...
 
Well. Putting yourself out there is half the battle. Not exactly how I would have done it but cool deal.

I figure it's something I have to do. I don't ever step out of my comfort zone like this. Its the reason why out of my really good friends, I'm the only one not married.
 
If there was something there, she'll acknowledge and at least open a dialog with you.

If there wasn't, it doesn't matter anyway.

If she doesn't remember, maybe you'll pique her interest and start over from the beginning- if not, it doesn't matter.

You're fine- being bold and just going for it is a hell of a lot better than tearing yourself up about it for another few years. At least you'll have some kind of movement one way or another.
 
The way I figure it is you don't see this girl everyday anyway. So throwing out there is not the worst thing to do. I mean the worst thing that can happen is she ignors it. But even then you will have made her day.
 
I figure it's something I have to do. I don't ever step out of my comfort zone like this. Its the reason why out of my really good friends, I'm the only one not married.

For sure man. You gotta cross the street to get to the other side.
 
Wow.. This one will be interesting. Its just a little stalkerish, but also kind of nice... She'll be creeped out or totally blown away..

Assuming she didn't become a nun or a lesbian because there was this one guy who she was infatuated with that blew her off because he wouldn't drive a few miles for a date a few years back, thus tearing out her heart and forcing her into a convent. Or into the arms of a very butch woman in lumberjack clothing...
 
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