U-verse rant

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reikoshea

HS Troll...And Mod
Moderator
VIP
Alright, so last night there was a really cool lightning storm that, I assume caused my wife and I to wipe in a WoW dungeon...that's neither here nor there.

After our power came back, my precious AT&T modem didn't.....and so ensued the doom.

I checked the socket to make sure it didn't short out. My Alarm System and secondary closet light were plugged into the same power strip and both worked. The light on the power brick was on, indicating the cord was good. No lights on on the modem. I pressed every button under the sun on that bitch and no joy.....so i called support (after my phone's internet FINALLY started to work).

Now. The IVR for ATT sucks. I repeated what the fucking douche bitch recording told me to say like a good little whore, and the first time I called I ended up in retention, which of course was closed, and of course auto-disconnects my call after telling me they are closed.

Second time i go through, the IVR got so pissed at me he was like 'FUCK YOU, you dont get to talk anymore, we're going back to "Press 1 for..." bullshit'. Fucking score. There should be an option on IVRs to turn that functionality on from the start.

Luckily, in the 3 times I've called AT&T in the last 24 hours I've gotten a rep on the phone in under a minute (after navigating the shitty IVR that is). That is their only redeeming factor.

So I finally got to talk to the MOST computer illiterate person I've ever spoken with in my life. He took my info and was like "What can I do to help". I told him my modem didn't work. We had a power surge and none of the little lights are on (they always fucking ask about lights). I'd checked 3 different wall plugs to make sure it was the modem and not the plug.

The rep says ok like he's actually listening to me, and proceeds to tell me to do the same steps I JUST told him I did. Ok, fine they have a certain script to follow for certain situations. I used to do DSL support for Verizon...I get what's happening. So, of course I lie to the dude telling him I'm doing what he asked when, in fact, the modem is still sitting in the closet plugged into the original socket.

After that, this fucker has the gall to say 'Give me a minute I run a line test'. Now I'm a bit angry because this fucker hasn't picked up a dman thing I've said. So, in a stern, but not angry voice I explain to the tech that his line test will go to the premises device, and do nothing to power on my modem. Then this fucker pushes my last fucking button. He tells me he is going to 'Bounce the port on my premises device'. So, for those that don't know me, I'm a network engineer and systems administrator and THIS FUCKER has broken my last straw of patience. I literally asked the dude 'Are you even fucking listening to a word I'm saying? What in your mind tells you that when there's no fucking power to my modem, that a port bounce will some how magically fix a device that doesn't POWER ON! (the F bombs were in the call)'

Of course, I've lost patience with this dude and I tell him I want a supervisor now. And strike EIGHT for fucking AT&T...he comes back, tells me his supervisors name.....and then I sat in Hold Hell for 5 minutes. I heard the click of someone attempting to transfer and instead i just sat and listened to the fucking AT&T Uverse TV ads. I canceled that shitty service for a reason....and they are shoving ads down my throat.

After that for 5 minutes I hung up. Did my best monkey impression for the IVR so i could get through it faster. And now I actually got to talk to someone that had ears. I avoided telling her about my open ticket and said 'I had a power outage and my modem doesn't turn on. I've tried another plug and that doesn't work. The power brick for the modem has a green light, but the modem itself doesn't power on'. She tells me 'well, it looks like you did a good job trouble shooting this yourself, let me schedule a tech to come out and replace that modem for you.' (Finally someone smart)

She tells me she can get someone at my house between 8 and noon (awesome, i work second shift now). She asks me what number to have the tech call to make sure I'm home. I gave her my cell (instead of my wife's, which is the number on the account).

She tells me she's got everything scheduled and the tech will call me on my alternate number. Talking to this chick took all of 6 minutes and she did everything exactly the way I would have wanted it.

Unfortunately, she either missed putting my number on the ticket or their dispatch just sucks, because I woke up at 11:30 to 0 missed calls and no knocks on my fucking door.

So, I go and look up their number again (I finally broke down and used 411 to call them yesterday since my interwebs on my phone wasnt working). I talk to a decent tech again (after yet one more dose of IVR hell). I told her 'Hey i have an open ticket for a tech to come to my house. I just need to check on the status.'.......and then.....this chick has the GALL! to start troubleshooting connections with me. Luckily she stopped once i reminded her that I already had an open ticket, but good lord I almost ate her face after that bullshit. Now there's a truck coming out between noon and 4 (it's 2 now and my wife hasn't logged into gmail yet....which is the first thing she does every day).


So there might be a continuation to this rant, but good lord, I'm almost considering paying more for a worse service and better support. Time Warner never did that bull shit to me. I had two modems fail on me in the past 5 years I've been with TW. Everyone seems to hate them, but I'll be damned if both times the modem died that i called them they heard 'no lights' they asked me the obligatory 'did you plug it in to another socket', i say yes, and look at that, the next morning I have a UPS package from them with a new modem. AND if the UPS guy is nice enough to wait 5 minutes, I give him the old modem back in the same box, and he labels that shit on my account.


[/rant] (maybe)
 
Fuck that, this is my rant. You're gonna read it and like it.

The title is all the cliffs notes you get.
 
:ph34r: I read it all, and I can say you must hate me because I've set up systems with the auto attendant. Nothing nearly as complicated with voice recognition or a billion different trees like Verizon and AT&T have, but I have set those up.

They're just as much a pain in the ass to set up as they are to go through as a customer.
 
No continuation to the rant. the tech that came out to our place replaced the modem in our dirty dirty house (still havent completely unpacked, and the modem is next to the cat's litter box). He also set up all of our computers again, the wireless on my wifes phone, and the wireless on all the PS3s.

The home tech was apparently pretty awesome.
 
ive had sbc/att dsl for the pass 8-10 years and likely ive never really had to call dem suns of beetches. but when shit hits the fan, i kno there are a couple of loop holes.

what i usually do is tell the csr idiot they havent fixed anything and i want a level 2 tech with a trouble ticket. not racist, but most of those asshats are from india with a name like jay and if you ask for a supervisor, theyll bounce you around until you or they "accidently" hang up.

from nor cal, i usually get some really cool tech people from st. louis that actually know what the fuck they are doing and not try to sell me 6.0meg uverse even though i can actually only get 3.0meg. big lawsuit for that right now. claim yours today =).

but good luck man. best bet is to ask for trouble ticket and advance to "level 2." ill see if i can dig up the 800 number for them as its different from the "india economy package" since you already got a trouble ticket.
 
well i tried to do that when that fucker was trying to bounce shit on the fiber switch. and then ended up in hold hell.
 
anything to do with ATT customer service sucks monkey balls.
 
Your thread title pretty much sums up my current situation. U-Verse might be the shittiest product available on the market today. I've had nothing but problems with it. The modem is constantly taking a shit on me. I'll be right in the middle of a TV show or an online game and shit will freeze up, and then I'll glance down at the modem and see the little red light flashing. So then I call tech support, go through the IVR bullshit, and then "Bob" from India walks me through his scripted trouble-shooting guide which basically boils down to making sure shit is plugged in and then resetting the receiver box or modem.

Yes "Bob", I know that resetting the receiver box or modem will sometimes fix the problem. The real problem is that I'M ALWAYS HAVING PROBLEMS! I have to reset this shit a good 2-3 times a week. I really don't give two shits if resetting the modem will temporarily fix it. For the monthly fee I pay the service should work more consistently.

The product sucks, period. I'm only putting up with it for the moment because I'm trying to decide if I should renew my lease or move somewhere else.

Things I hate about U-Verse:

1.) How the whole bundle comes through the Internet, so that when it acts up you can't do jack shit entertainment-wise. It's not like, "Oh, well, the cable's on the fritz so I guess I'll hop on the Internet for a while" or vice versa, no, it's just 100% gone!

2.) The cutesy American names that they assign to their obviously foreign tech support people. Look dude, I'd really rather you just tell me that your fucking name is Apu or Veejay. This little "Look, I have a typical American name so that you can relate to me" bullshit just pisses me off all the more when I'm already pissed off at your shitty product.

3.) Why the hell does the channel guide still function when the modem goes on the fritz?!? It's like it's fucking taunting me! "Hey, check out all this cool shit on TV that you CAN'T watch right now!" Seriously? Fuck you U-Verse!

Those are my top three, but I'm sure that I'll think of more...
 
Sadly, you'll get the same damn service at comcast, verizon, chater, RR, etc etc etc.

Whenever I call these places for support, the first thing i say to them is that I'm an advanced user, work in this field and I likely know what is wrong already, so let's save the BS and cut to the chase. Here's what's happening.... here's what i did...... what can you do to help?

Usually that will you get the rep out of the script if he/she also has a clue.

if not, you're in for script hell and at that point i usually just say "WOW ITS WORKING" and call back and hope to get a new rep.
 
I am so glad that I don't have to put up with this bullshit. I go through a smaller company that does microwave. Whenever I have an issue I get a live person no matter what time it is. Glad to see they got you fixed back up though.
 
I am so glad that I don't have to put up with this bullshit. I go through a smaller company that does microwave. Whenever I have an issue I get a live person no matter what time it is. Glad to see they got you fixed back up though.

What company?

I work for Clear in the Sales dept. You guys ever look in to Clear?
 
Its Pocket iNet. They are local to S.E. Washington. They are expending though. I know they are looking at setting up towers in north east Oregon and central Washington. They only shitty part about it is I pay 100 a month for a 3meg connection. :( But its that or dial up. And fuck dial up.
 
anything to do with ATT customer service sucks monkey balls.
quoted for truth.
i am a network admin and my AT&T is our isp.
fml
at least i get paid to deal with them.
 
lol yeah we had at&t for both our DC and our Office DS3s and i hated that. fortunately my INTERNET SERVICE has been fine with them over the years. My CUSTOMER SERVICE has been fail after fail.

Today the service got turned off (didnt pay the bill) and luckily, the IVR got me to the right place to pay and get recurring set up. Finally a pleasant experience with this fucking company.
 
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