Todays Lame Joke

We may earn a small commission from affiliate links and paid advertisements. Terms

reckedracing

reckedracing

TTIWWOP
VIP
A plane was taking off from an Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293,
non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
 
Last edited:
A puerto vallarta ad at the top to underline the plane joke. Love it.
 
way too long??? it was 7 sentences... you have the attention span of a fucking gnat
 
gnats are pretty persistent little fuckers, I think that is an insult to them.
 
E_SolSi said:
way too long??? it was 7 sentences... you have the attention span of a fucking gnat
Click to expand...

LOL.

I agree, that was actually a pretty short one. I have seen some that are so long I just give up right in the middle of them. And I have a pretty good attention span...
 
i guess you'll bail out early on this one then
RIF



A former Infantry Sergeant having served his time with the Marine Corps
took a new job as a school teacher.

Just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required
to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately,
the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest
students in the school.

The smart aleck punks having already heard the new teacher was a former
Marine were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was
before trying any pranks.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the
window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and stapled
the tie to his chest.

He had no trouble with discipline that year...



SEMPER FI!
 
reckedracing said:
i guess you'll bail out early on this one then
RIF



A former Infantry Sergeant having served his time with the Marine Corps
took a new job as a school teacher.

Just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required
to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately,
the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest
students in the school.

The smart aleck punks having already heard the new teacher was a former
Marine were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was
before trying any pranks.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the
window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and stapled
the tie to his chest.

He had no trouble with discipline that year...



SEMPER FI!
Click to expand...

Nice. :p
 
woo hooo
after years of todays lame joke threads i finally get recognized for my comedic abilities and win 2 golden jew stars
woooooooooo!!!
 
I heard a new one today:

This lady died and went to heaven, and was standing outside the pearly gates talking to St. Peter. Out of nowhere she hears this blood curdling scream. She says "what in the world was that?". St. Peter says "oh, don't worry about that, that was just a lady getting holes drilled in her back for her wings". She says "I don't know if I like that". A couple of minutes later, she hears another scream. "What in the world was that?". He says "Oh don't worry about that, that was just the same lady getting holes drilled in her head for the halo". She says "I don't like the sound of that either, just go ahead and send me to hell". St. Peter shakes his head and says "Why would you want to go to hell? You would be raped and sodomized for the rest of eternity!!!". She says "Well, at least I already have the holes for that!".

:rimshot:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top