I used to have a key to relationship success - And remember, I've been with my girl for a long time. I'll share that secret, mainly because it's been abandoned for a better, fee-based secret. So this is public-domain:
"The key to a long term, happy relationship is seperate apartments"
It was a Razer statement. Made true by itself. Clever, eh ? OF course it's folly is immediately recognised. The moment that statement begins to work for you and your mate, you decide to move intogether and immediately bugger up everything you have worked for.
So my new, fee based solution is this (And I'm telling this here as a public service statement for Brian and others of the Hondaswap community, because I love you guys. I love you guys primarily because not only do we not share an apartment, but most of you are merely text on a screen to me. Brain in the jar, if you will):
"The key a happy relationship is 0 expectations."
Zero. I was going with "low expectations" because it was safe and left room for exceptional instances. Since then I have firmly proven that there are no exceptions.
If you get out of work and think "Maybe I'll have dinner waiting for me" you've already lost the battle. Expect to come home to nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a hello. Miserably schlepp up your rickety stairs and into the icy departure of Ms. "More than a roommate" and if you happen to find something, it will pick up your day and excite you. It's like waiting till before bed to rub a nut, because if you start off your day with rubbing a nut, You have sealed the fate of the day not getting any better. It's all downhill from there.
This is an exerpt from my book "I've upped my standards. Up yours" and will be available on bookshelves the moment I get the feds off my fucking back.
-> Steve