Help - I Burned My Girlfriendss Cooter

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kyleirwin

Retired OG
k this is what is happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yeah i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz


So she came like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So I gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wouldnt fit in properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwave it for 8 minutes, and then i poured it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
 
early nominee for worst thread of the year...
 
Oh fuck, I cant stop laughing..................this is great.
Give her some ice :b
And the whole N64 system!!!
 
wtf?

has he been hacked?

he's obviously not a virgin.... he has a kid. lol
 
quite possible^^^.. who in they're right mind would start a thread out about their 15 yr old GFs :blink: crotch on fire..
 
quite possible^^^.. who in they're right mind would start a thread out about their 15 yr old GFs :blink: crotch on fire..
i thought it was about some guy who gave is gf an std. that would have been more interesting than this bullshit.
 
quite possible^^^.. who in they're right mind would start a thread out about their 15 yr old GFs :blink: crotch on fire..
Yeah a little fishy, but funny................youve gotta admit it.
 
Butter in the microwave for 8 minutes makes plasma
 
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