Oops, I fucked up.

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get_nick

These snozzberries taste like snozzberries...
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Well, recently the gf and I have been surfing on hondaswap together. We posted the halloween pictures and wanted to show them to her friends at work. So she went on here and found the thread. No big deal, we posted them together. Well, she asked if I would care if she read other threads and posts I've made. I couldn't say no, or it would look like I had something to hide. So I said, "sure, go ahead".

Since we have been together, she asked how many girls I have been with since my ex. I told her 1, the girl I was seeing for a while. I failed to mention a girl that I hooked up because I was really embarassed that it happened and felt ashamed.

Well, needless to say, she found the thread I posted about the other girl. And I made the mistake of lying about it, even though she knew the truth. So we had a big discussion about it. I denied it at first, then felt guilty and confessed. Things seemed to go pretty well. But I grabbed all my stuff from her place and went back to mine after being with her for the last 3 weeks. What do you guys think?

This isn't an apology thread to her. She told me, "And don't worry about hondaswap. I wont ever, ever look at it again."

:cliffs:
hooked up with a girl before I met my gf
Said I only slept with 1 girl since ex even though it was 2
Gf found out about the hookup
Denied, then finally confessed
she might break up with me
 
:( suck, dood. my take on it (from the female side) is be as honest as you can about why you felt like you needed to deny it if she brings it up again (you didn't want to disappoint her, it was an embarrassment you wish hadn't happened, etc). then explain to her that this has been a wakeup call and that you realize what dishonesty can cost you, and you're not willing to pay that, and tell her she's worth any embarrassment or shame you might feel if you ever have to confess about something again.

she's with you because she likes you, if she's mature and sees you're being serious, rational, and honest, she should cut you slack at least once...
 
:( suck, dood. my take on it (from the female side) is be as honest as you can about why you felt like you needed to deny it if she brings it up again (you didn't want to disappoint her, it was an embarrassment you wish hadn't happened, etc). then explain to her that this has been a wakeup call and that you realize what dishonesty can cost you, and you're not willing to pay that, and tell her she's worth any embarrassment or shame you might feel if you ever have to confess about something again.

she's with you because she likes you, if she's mature and sees you're being serious, rational, and honest, she should cut you slack at least once...
yeah, i told her i lied because I was embarassed and ashamed of the hook up. so she understood that. but it's the fact that i tried to deny it and lie about it that is causing the problem.

she is considering a big career change, her rent is going up $400/month in january so she has to move, and now this. it's just the compounding stress.

she is very mature, but it's just bad timing. hopefully things work out. I care a lot for her.
 
My ex doesn't know that I hooked-up with my female roommate that is her friend. I mean............:ph34r:
 
If she can be mature about it just lay it out buddy. You were not together, you fucked up. You really regret it ect. And if you mean it she will know it. It will buff out. If she is still up set let her know that Spokane is crawling with the fuckin MRSA virus.
 
shame on you for lying to her, and shame on her for making an issue about who you slept with before her.
 
Big fkn deal. Who really cares, the past is the past, if she's going to break up with you about not telling your "True" number then you have nothing to worry about. Its not worth your time to deal with some immature crap like that...
 
Bottom line, we as people lie about things we are embarrassed about, ashamed of, or to avoid getting in trouble. Thats the 3 main reasons for lying.

For someone to get THAT upset over a lie that is irrelevant to her and was created to cover shame, not guilt.

On the other hand, I DO see her point. I would be upset, disappointed etc. But wouldn't break up over it.
 
Why would she ask if she didn't want to know? That's something that's always confused me. I'm a curious person, but I've never asked about my bf's history. We've talked about it, but it doesn't matter to me.
 
That sucks, but you know exactly what's going on here. You know her and exactly why she's upset better than anyone here. I trust my personal judgment and I'm sure she does as well, so in a situation like this I would just sit and ask myself "Will she(he from her POV) honestly learn her lesson from this?". She saw the way you acted, heard the sincerity in your voice, and saw the disappointed look on your face. Hopefully she will answer herself "yes" to that question and that's all she should need instead of keeping herself upset and picking at other stuff. Good luck
 
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