Crazy Mountain Man

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drbelanger73

Beer is good for you.
Ok, I think I have been targeted by some crazy mountain man from the deep dark of Maine...

My integra is still in the garage in about a hundred peices waiting for the earth to thaw so i'm mostly driving my xB. I must admit that the xB is a little ricey... I did not make the mods though so i can hold my head high... Its got a cold air intake though so its all good :D.

Anyway this crazy old codger has singled me out on rt 1 between bath and brunswick. This dude has one of those old plaid hats with the fold down ear flaps. A beard down to his ankles. Four teeth slammed into a weathered pockmarked face that has to be over 60 at least. An orange vest and coverall type supsender things.

Its creepy... He appears out of nowhere driving his beat up rusted cavalier wagon driving like he is in the final lap of nascar. He just loves to pass me too.

I was coming around the a two lane corner that merges into one. So i put on a little speed to make the merge. This dude, out of nowhere swerves from behind the dude that was behind me and stomps the gas. He just barely missed me as I was merging into the lane, barreling through the lane like a mad man.

Out on the open road he comes up behind me and then pulls up beside me and stares at me. What has he got against the xB? Has he never seen one before? Why does he never change his clothes? I'm starting to think this is some episode of jackass or something...

One of these days I'm gonna have to show him the power of the CAI!!!
I'm gonna have to start feeding my 108 hamsters some crack...

Does he know the car isn't even fast? I mean its stock!!!

Maybe he hates my MA plates? I need to photograph him, send him into national geographic or something...

I don't know. Maine is scary. Stephen King lives up here for a reason, trust me...

He is gonna have a cow when i finally break out the integra, and i'm still not gonna race the guy.
 
I've tried to stay along the coast. Portland, Brunswick, Bath. Though I have been up to Patten once. Holy shit there is nothing up there; besides moose, wolves, deer, loons, neanderthals, eagles, and spiders the size of your face.
 
If you want an adventure stay at the crown motor in in caribou, me. What a shit hole. Theres not a hole lot to do up there.

I had family in Mechanics Falls, there were some hicks in that town.

I wonder what the people who live in TWP31 look like. Once you get past Bangor a lot of the towns are just called TWP or something else and a #. I wouldn't want to break down out there.
 
I would've gotten his license plate number and reported it to the local police. Maybe a ticket will straighten his ass out.
 
you live in maine and have mass plates?? why?
 
I would've gotten his license plate number and reported it to the local police. Maybe a ticket will straighten his ass out.

As old as he is tickets probably don´t phase him.
Scary mountain man as he is he is probably better armed than the cops.

Though maine cops have to shoot moose so who knows...
 
Yeah, in CT we say it. But now that you live in Maine you're a masshole hick
 
Yeah, good ol' assachussetts.

What was that Tom Hanks movie that had the mailman that hated him ? Reminds me of that.
 
Navy currently; though i started in the guard back in the 90's.

It was a lot safer to be in the infantry when Clinton was in office. Just didn't teach any job skills so I went into the navy to travel and learn something besides killing people, camping and digging holes. I'd be a dead duck now, a machine gunner has an average life expectancy of 30 seconds in combat.
 
and a side note for anyone who has never been to Maine... regardless of geographic location, most of Maine is actually part of the deep south
 
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Now that one looks familiar...

Maine may appear to be the deep south, it is however what we like to call Pennsyltucky. This consists of those backwater places of Maine, clear down through Vermont and New York, on down into West Virginia and the actual south. Typically the rest of humanity passed through this region and settled elsewhere.

Pennsyltucky however is populated by most of god's forgotten creatures. (u got a perty mouth boy...) Do not stop your vehical in unfamiliar places. You could be assaulted by the Children of the Chowda...

Mainer = Cousin loving sheep :eek:'er.

MA cut this state loose for a reason...
 
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