microsoft joke

[Briansol]

Microsoft opens a new restaurant

Customer: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your support staff. May I please have your telephone number, and address? Your visit may be monitored for training purposes. Now, please tell me your problem.

Customer: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Please exit the restaurant and re-enter through the front entrance. Is the fly still there?

Customer: Yes, the fly is still in my soup
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the spoon. Try ladling with the other hand

Customer: Whichever hand I use to spoon the soup, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Customer: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: It looks like a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Customer: Your colleague brought the bowl on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?
Waiter: What was the last thing you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Customer: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Customer: You have more than one Soup of the Day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every 10 minutes.

Customer: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is mushroom.

Customer: OK , I’ll try the mushroom soup
Waiter: Here is your soup of the day.

Customer: This is celery soup.
Waiter: Yes, the mushroom soup is still in beta testing.

 

[Dustin_m]

^_^

 

[get_nick]

 

[TurboMirage]

that was about as funny as the number ZERO.

 

[E_SolSi]

 

[Sabz5150]

Microsoft.



That's the joke. I have no punchline.

 

[jp_p5]

 

[tunercrazed]

lol

 

[Celerity]

It's funny, but I do the same shit. When someone asks me for help on the phone, I need them to prove what they did, and when they did it. Mostly because 99% of phone calls are

"It's broken"
"What's broken?"
"The computer, idiot!"

And so on

 

[LS_VTEC]

He should have offerred him a "free upgrade" to the cream of broccoli soup. ;x

 

[Celerity]

Hey, what about Mac support?

"Waiter ! I have a fly in my soup!"
"You can't. Lets have a look see""Oh, I'll be damned, there is one there!"

Silence.

"Are you going to help out here?"
"Sure ! What would you like!"
"Perhaps another soup?"
"Why don't you come down to the store and we'll see if we can get that fly out?"
"The fly is really... well.. isn't there some sort of quality control here?"
"Yes, that soup is lovely. It's in a beautiful, pure white bowl with a clear spoon. The bowl even has a cover that softly glows when you put your hand near it. High quality stuff, right there"
"Well what's it going to take to get another soup?"
"You can replace it under warranty."
"Great, let's do that."
"Ok. Sixty Dollars."
"What about that warranty ?"
"Yes, without the warranty it's two hundred dollars."
"ooook... lets talk about getting this fly out then."
"That'll take the fly filter. It's $50 and takes 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. It'll be cold by then, so the iHeater will also be necessary for the full experience. Customer satisfaction is a top priority."

(Another guy from behind) "Hey, you gonna eat that ? My kids have been wanting a bowl of soup like that for years, and I want to write a book which means I'm automatically too snooty for a regular cup of microsoft soup. Bill Gates being an asshole and all."

 

[daveholiday]

Way to lift my day guys, lol.

 

[reikoshea]

Hey, what about Mac support?

"Waiter ! I have a fly in my soup!"
"You can't. Lets have a look see""Oh, I'll be damned, there is one there!"

Silence.

"Are you going to help out here?"
"Sure ! What would you like!"
"Perhaps another soup?"
"Why don't you come down to the store and we'll see if we can get that fly out?"
"The fly is really... well.. isn't there some sort of quality control here?"
"Yes, that soup is lovely. It's in a beautiful, pure white bowl with a clear spoon. The bowl even has a cover that softly glows when you put your hand near it. High quality stuff, right there"
"Well what's it going to take to get another soup?"
"You can replace it under warranty."
"Great, let's do that."
"Ok. Sixty Dollars."
"What about that warranty ?"
"Yes, without the warranty it's two hundred dollars."
"ooook... lets talk about getting this fly out then."
"That'll take the fly filter. It's $50 and takes 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. It'll be cold by then, so the iHeater will also be necessary for the full experience. Customer satisfaction is a top priority."

(Another guy from behind) "Hey, you gonna eat that ? My kids have been wanting a bowl of soup like that for years, and I want to write a book which means I'm automatically too snooty for a regular cup of microsoft soup. Bill Gates being an asshole and all."

I LOLed in actual amusement at a celerity post....and its not cause i think he made an arrogant ultra-conservative bastardish comment. whoa. i never thought this day would come.

 

[|Chaz|]

Celerity's Mac joke was best.