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pissedoffsol · 06-17-2003, 11:09 PM

>The Baby Photographer ( this is hilarious!! )
>
>The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
>
>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."
>
>"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
>
>"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
>
>"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
>
>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."
>
>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
>
>"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
>
>"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
>
>"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
>
>"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
>
>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
>
>
>"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
>
>
>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith
>the picture.
>
>"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>
>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
>
>"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
>
>"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
>
>
>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"
>
>"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
>
>"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
>
>"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

Slammed89Integra · 06-17-2003, 11:27 PM

So funny! LOL!

That was fuggin hilarious!!

Silverchild79 · 06-17-2003, 11:29 PM

awsome joke

BodyDroppedNikes · 06-17-2003, 11:42 PM

that was good man

E_SolSi · 06-18-2003, 01:14 AM

that was fucking great

noobvang · 06-18-2003, 02:00 AM

That was some funnie shit!

tedwright · 06-18-2003, 02:17 AM

hilarious shit man

Calesta · 06-18-2003, 03:24 AM

Slo86GT · 06-18-2003, 03:28 AM

Coool.

CRX-YEM · 06-18-2003, 09:21 AM

that's an oldie but goodie, always makes me laugh when I see that one.

dohcvtec_accord · 06-18-2003, 09:39 AM

Sweeeeet.

06-17-2003, 11:27 PM	#2
Slammed89Integra Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Washington Age: 22 Posts: 7,711 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 2007 Scion TC, 2005 Suzuki GSX-R 600 Rep Power: 155	So funny! LOL! That was fuggin hilarious!! __________________ When this is all over I think we should get an apartment together.

06-17-2003, 11:29 PM	#3
Silverchild79 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Albany, Oregon Age: 30 Posts: 6,759 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 192	awsome joke __________________ Did I just say something interesting or funny? Check out my blog for more... http://campassmore.wordpress.com/

06-18-2003, 02:00 AM	#6
noobvang Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Twincities, MN Posts: 382 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 17	That was some funnie shit! __________________ 96 LX 4dr. with B18a, PR3 pistons, B16 head w/ port 'n polish to intake, CTR intake/exhaust cams, ITR IM, CTR TB, Hondata IM gasket, RC 310cc injectors, Denso Iridum plugs, Skunk2 valve springs/retainers, Excedy race clutch, ACT streetlight flywheel, Walbro 255 fuel pump, GSR tranny, and Tanabe Super Racing Medalion...., next is Header and VAFC. Best run on 1320: 14.5 @ 94.5mph street tires 14.4 @ 94mph small slicks :P 98 Yamaha R1

06-18-2003, 02:17 AM	#7
tedwright Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UPSTATE NY Posts: 508 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 18	hilarious shit man __________________ </div><table border=\'0\' align=\'center\' width=\'95%\' cellpadding=\'3\' cellspacing=\'1\'><tr><td>QUOTE (Silverchild79 @ Aug 18 2003, 05:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id=\'QUOTE\'>I put LSD in my 5 speed once, it kept saying "I'm an automatic, I'm an automatic". Then it had a conversation with my clutch.... </td></tr></table><div class=\'signature\'>

06-18-2003, 03:24 AM	#8
Calesta Admin with a big stick Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Dallas / Fort Worth, TX Age: 32 Posts: 24,451 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 2003 S2000 Rep Power: 288	__________________ DO NOT PM me with tech questions! Use the forums! Intercrew Auto Salon - (972) 485-8688


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06-17-2003, 11:09 PM	#1
pissedoffsol RETIRED Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Retirement Home Age: 29 Posts: 49,951 iTrader: 2 / 100% Ride: Electric Scooter Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 531	>The Baby Photographer ( this is hilarious!! ) > >The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." > >Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...." > >"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. > >"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." > >"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. > >"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." > >"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." > >"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." > >"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. > >"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." > >"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed. > >The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." > > >"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. > > >"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith >the picture. > >"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. > >"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." > >"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. > >"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." > > >Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?" > >"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." > >"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. > >"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

06-18-2003, 03:28 AM	#9
Slo86GT Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Memphis - Hellhole of the South Posts: 3,367 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 48	Coool. __________________ - Jody - 2004 Colorado ZQ8 - I5, M5, Regular cab - 209.9whp/210.7wtq 1986 Mustang GT - V8, M5 - 213.0whp/279.2wtq

06-18-2003, 09:21 AM	#10
CRX-YEM Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Wallingford, CT Age: 32 Posts: 4,419 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 91 CRX Rep Power: 86	that's an oldie but goodie, always makes me laugh when I see that one. __________________ Dennis Buy my stuff plz... Mondaswap For Sale - MPFI, 88-91 CRX, 92-95 Civic Parts Please don't PM/Email/IM me for technical support. Make a Post!!! 91 CRX DX, 03 Civic EX "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who get binary and those who don't." "Of all my imaginary friends I don't think there was one I didn't end up having to kill"

06-18-2003, 09:39 AM	#11
dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The left lane Age: 32 Posts: 8,498 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 2002 WRB Impreza WRX Rep Power: 99	Sweeeeet. __________________ This space left intentionally blank.

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The Baby Photographer :)