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IDMaxGuy · 09-04-2003, 06:28 PM

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While the man is being served, he asks the bartender if he would like to make a friendly bet. The bartender asks the man,"What sort of bet?" The man says, "I'll bet you $20.00 I can chew on my left eye". The bartender says, "Your on". The man takes a glass eye out of his left socket and chews on it with his teeth. The bartender pays the man and tells him to get the hell out of his bar.

The next night, the same man walks into the bar. He orders a drink and then again asks the bartender if he would like to make a bet. The bartender, being suspicious, said, "What's the bet?" The man says, "I'll bet you $40.00 I can chew on my right eye". The bartender seeing the man is able to walk around and not walk into anything knows the man could not possibly have two glass eyes. The bartender takes the bet. The man takes his dentures out of his mouth and places them against his right eye and starts to chew. The bartender pays the man and tells him again to get the hell out of his bar.

A week goes by and the man walks into the bar with a six of friends and they walk to the back of the bar and sit a table. The bartender watches the man closely as he works. After an hour the man walks up to the bar and starts talking with the bartender. He asks the bartender if he again would like to make another bet. The bartender reluctantly askes what the bet was. The man told him, "I'll bet you a $100.00 I can put the shotglass all the way down at the end of the bar, stand on this end and piss into that shotglass and get every drop into it. This time the bartender says, "Now I have you, I'll take that bet."

The man puts the shotglass on the end of the bar, climbs up onto the other end, whips out his dick and proceeds to piss all over the bartenders bar, not getting one drop of piss into the glass. The man hops off the bar and the bartender is laughing and yelling, "I got you this time you son-of-a-bitch". The man paid the the bartender and was smiling from ear to ear. The bartender asked the man why he was so happy, he just lost a $100.00. The man told the bartender, "I just bet all of my buddies $1,000.00 each that I could walk over here, piss on your bar and make you laugh about it..."

hehe stupid bartender.

dohcvtec_accord · 09-04-2003, 06:30 PM

Nice one. You're a pretty good substitute for Loco Honkey while he's road trippin.

BodyDroppedNikes · 09-04-2003, 06:35 PM

2000Si · 09-04-2003, 06:40 PM

On a scale of 1 to 10...

Loco Honkeys joke: 1

That joke: 12

brntorangehatch · 09-04-2003, 06:50 PM

wasnt that joke in the movie "desperado" with that antonio banderas guy or whatever his name is... i remeber it from somewhere... but its still hella funny

wildbillhatchbac · 09-04-2003, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by brntorangehatch@Sep 4 2003, 05:50 PM
wasnt that joke in the movie "desperado" with that antonio banderas guy or whatever his name is... i remeber it from somewhere... but its still hella funny

CRX-YEM · 09-04-2003, 07:20 PM

that joke is way the fuck older than the movie.

JDMilan · 09-04-2003, 08:27 PM

good one,,,

IDMaxGuy · 09-05-2003, 12:15 AM

Ok here is another i heard at work.................

This fat lady walks into a bar with a duck on her shoulder.
The bartender sees this and says, "Hey where did you get that pig"
The lady says, "You idiot this is a duck not a pig"
The bartender replies,"I was talking to the duck"

bwahahahahahaha I love that one.

kyleirwin · 09-05-2003, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CRX-YEM@Sep 4 2003, 06:20 PM
that joke is way the fuck older than the movie.

.

dveit · 09-05-2003, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by IDMaxGuy@Sep 5 2003, 12:15 AM
Ok here is another i heard at work.................

This fat lady walks into a bar with a duck on her shoulder.
The bartender sees this and says, "Hey where did you get that pig"
The lady says, "You idiot this is a duck not a pig"
The bartender replies,"I was talking to the duck"

bwahahahahahaha I love that one.

90 accord · 09-05-2003, 02:36 AM

that first one is fing cool mang!!

SleEPeR_CRX · 09-05-2003, 02:48 AM

u got a semi chuckle/ cough from me.

brntorangehatch · 09-05-2003, 03:07 AM

Quote:

that joke is way the fuck older than the movie.

that was the first place i heard it from

brntorangehatch · 09-05-2003, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CRX-YEM@Sep 4 2003, 06:20 PM
that joke is way the fuck older than the movie.

well that was the first time I had heard it... but whatever

09-04-2003, 06:28 PM	#1
IDMaxGuy Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Nixa, Mo Posts: 1,396 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 27	A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While the man is being served, he asks the bartender if he would like to make a friendly bet. The bartender asks the man,"What sort of bet?" The man says, "I'll bet you $20.00 I can chew on my left eye". The bartender says, "Your on". The man takes a glass eye out of his left socket and chews on it with his teeth. The bartender pays the man and tells him to get the hell out of his bar. The next night, the same man walks into the bar. He orders a drink and then again asks the bartender if he would like to make a bet. The bartender, being suspicious, said, "What's the bet?" The man says, "I'll bet you $40.00 I can chew on my right eye". The bartender seeing the man is able to walk around and not walk into anything knows the man could not possibly have two glass eyes. The bartender takes the bet. The man takes his dentures out of his mouth and places them against his right eye and starts to chew. The bartender pays the man and tells him again to get the hell out of his bar. A week goes by and the man walks into the bar with a six of friends and they walk to the back of the bar and sit a table. The bartender watches the man closely as he works. After an hour the man walks up to the bar and starts talking with the bartender. He asks the bartender if he again would like to make another bet. The bartender reluctantly askes what the bet was. The man told him, "I'll bet you a $100.00 I can put the shotglass all the way down at the end of the bar, stand on this end and piss into that shotglass and get every drop into it. This time the bartender says, "Now I have you, I'll take that bet." The man puts the shotglass on the end of the bar, climbs up onto the other end, whips out his dick and proceeds to piss all over the bartenders bar, not getting one drop of piss into the glass. The man hops off the bar and the bartender is laughing and yelling, "I got you this time you son-of-a-bitch". The man paid the the bartender and was smiling from ear to ear. The bartender asked the man why he was so happy, he just lost a $100.00. The man told the bartender, "I just bet all of my buddies $1,000.00 each that I could walk over here, piss on your bar and make you laugh about it..." hehe stupid bartender. __________________ 1996 Accord --- DD 1987 Chrysler Conquest--- Two Point Six liters of pure turbo fury... FURY I TELL YA...

09-04-2003, 06:30 PM	#2
dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The left lane Age: 32 Posts: 8,498 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 2002 WRB Impreza WRX Rep Power: 99	Nice one. You're a pretty good substitute for Loco Honkey while he's road trippin. __________________ This space left intentionally blank.

09-04-2003, 06:50 PM	#5
brntorangehatch Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: 510 Posts: 92 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 13	wasnt that joke in the movie "desperado" with that antonio banderas guy or whatever his name is... i remeber it from somewhere... but its still hella funny __________________ "cuz fine ass bitches wit them empty bank books is worse den them ugly muthafuckas who cant cook"

09-04-2003, 07:20 PM	#7
CRX-YEM Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Wallingford, CT Age: 32 Posts: 4,419 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 91 CRX Rep Power: 86	that joke is way the fuck older than the movie. __________________ Dennis Buy my stuff plz... Mondaswap For Sale - MPFI, 88-91 CRX, 92-95 Civic Parts Please don't PM/Email/IM me for technical support. Make a Post!!! 91 CRX DX, 03 Civic EX "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who get binary and those who don't." "Of all my imaginary friends I don't think there was one I didn't end up having to kill"

09-04-2003, 08:27 PM	#8
JDMilan Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Boca Raton, FL Posts: 6,733 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 81	good one,,, __________________ <span style=\"color:red\">"92 Blue EG"</span> -Project 3 - Motor A (NA stock SiR longblock B16 EG/S1tran) 14.3@97 15" radial tires & Gutted -Project 3 - Motor B (NA stock SiRII longblock B16 EG/S4tran) 13.3@103 MT's & Gutted <span style=\"color:red\">"Goldy S13"</span> -Project 4 - Motor A (FI SR20DET w/T28 "Under Construction&quot <span style=\"color:red\">"Silver E46"</span> -Project 5 - Motor A (???)


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09-05-2003, 12:15 AM	#9
IDMaxGuy Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Nixa, Mo Posts: 1,396 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 27	Ok here is another i heard at work................. This fat lady walks into a bar with a duck on her shoulder. The bartender sees this and says, "Hey where did you get that pig" The lady says, "You idiot this is a duck not a pig" The bartender replies,"I was talking to the duck" bwahahahahahaha I love that one. __________________ 1996 Accord --- DD 1987 Chrysler Conquest--- Two Point Six liters of pure turbo fury... FURY I TELL YA...

09-05-2003, 02:36 AM	#12
90 accord Chicks dig the box Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Tucson, AZ Age: 25 Posts: 4,775 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 2006 Scion xB Rep Power: 90	that first one is fing cool mang!! __________________ i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i !i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i! i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i !i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i! i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i !i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i http://www.hondashowoff.com/profile.php?id=3331 <-- my former SI This is blue

09-05-2003, 02:48 AM	#13
SleEPeR_CRX Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Vancouver B.C. canada Posts: 1,227 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 26	u got a semi chuckle/ cough from me. __________________ Sleepers Are the Only way to Go. 1990 CRX Si B18a(92) CAI/E, Gutted, ACT clutch/pressure plate/13lb flywheel, Crower 403 Cams, Titanium Valve springs & Retainers, Blockguard, Head Milled 20 thou, 9.8:1 Compression, AEM cam gears. 1/4 = 14.73 60' = 2.48 trap = 95.03mph Soon to get: Header, Slicks Future 13 second all motor LS!

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