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Old 09-25-2005, 05:49 AM   #1
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A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD." WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

DEAR DAD:
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE
WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU. I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER

EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T CARE FOR HER, AS SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!

DON'T WORRY DAD; I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN .

YOUR SON,

Bill

P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. I JUST
WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD THAT'S IN MY DESK, CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU!

CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.
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Originally Posted by 95b16coupe View Post
if you are under 16 and prego, you are a lost cause. you are given a life raft and dropped into the ocean to fend for yourself. if you make it back to society, you get $1,000,000 in Arby's coupons.
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Old 09-25-2005, 11:41 AM   #2
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haha ... it would have been funnier if i didnt have to read all of it. Take out the part about the pot and it would be funnier
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Old 09-25-2005, 12:17 PM   #3
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lmao that was halarious
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Old 09-25-2005, 12:58 PM   #4
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Well... he's grounded for the next 10 years.
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yea.. but aren't you spaghetti noodles covered in skin?
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Old 09-25-2005, 02:35 PM   #5
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old joke, but funny
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Originally Posted by E_SolSi View Post
frankly ill be surprised if you ever form a post that doesn't read like you are wearing a hockey helmet chewing on a box of crayons drooling all over yourself while you lick the fucking monitor and mash away at the keyboard
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Old 09-25-2005, 02:35 PM   #6
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old joke, but funny
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Originally Posted by E_SolSi View Post
frankly ill be surprised if you ever form a post that doesn't read like you are wearing a hockey helmet chewing on a box of crayons drooling all over yourself while you lick the fucking monitor and mash away at the keyboard
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Old 09-25-2005, 04:55 PM   #7
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i'm seeing double...
i'm seeing double...
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Old 09-25-2005, 05:16 PM   #8
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me too
me too

:P my bad, guess i hit the button twice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E_SolSi View Post
frankly ill be surprised if you ever form a post that doesn't read like you are wearing a hockey helmet chewing on a box of crayons drooling all over yourself while you lick the fucking monitor and mash away at the keyboard
My Photostream on Flickr
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:16 PM   #9
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On a quiet night, you can hear a d-series ninja being born. . .
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Old 09-25-2005, 10:31 PM   #10
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heard it before, funny how everything changes except the punchline in jokes sometimes..
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