reckedracing

Baptist Cowboy

A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "it's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.

Hasn't affected my brothers though."

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"Highly psychotic and extremely violent."
MEMENTO MORI

Turbo&Auto

Not as lame as some of the other lame ones, this was actually pretty funny

pissedoffsol

hehe

SlushboxTeggy

Three nuns die and accend to heaven. At the gate they meet with St. Peter. After looking over their lifes he says, "Since you have lived such pure lifes I am going to allow all three of you to return to earth for three months as any person you would like."

Happy at the turn of events the first nun jumps forward and say, "Angelina Jolie". Poof, she's Angelina.
The second steps up and says, "Jennifer Aniston". Poof, she's Jen.
The third is kind of hesitant but finally steps forward and says, "Sara Piplini".
St. Peter says, "I'm sorry, I don't know who that is".
The nun then hands him a newspaper article and after looking it over St. Peter starts laughing, then says, " No, no, no, you read this wrong. It says here that the Sahara Pipeline was laid by 1,400 men in three months".

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MikeBergy

Now that's a funny joke.

J