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CRX-YEM · 12-21-2003, 03:58 PM

Twas the night before xmas
and all through the house everyone
felt shitty, even the mouse.

Mom at the whorehouse and
Dad smoking grass, and I just
settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn I heard
such a clatter, I sprang from my piece
to see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn I saw a
big dick, I knew in a moment
it must be St. Prick.

He came down from the chimney like
a bat out of hell, I knew in a
moment the fucker had fell.

He filled all the stockings with
pretzels and beer, and a big rubber
dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a
thunderous fart, the son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he rode
out of sight, "Piss on you all and
have one hell of a night!!!"

Happy Christmas and have a merry New Year.

--
Slightly different Version

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
everyone was getting laid, even the mouse.
With Ma in her whore house and dad in jail,
I had just settled down for a nice piece of tail...

When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my sister-in-law to see what was the matter.
I threw open the shudders and threw out the hash,
tripped over my boner and busted my ass.

And out on the lawn but what should appear
but a rusty ol' sleigh, and 8 fucking reindeer.
Out of the sleigh jumped a big, fat dick...
and I knew in an instant it must be St. Prick.

"To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls,
on you bastards before I cut off your balls!"
He came down the chimney like a bat outta Hell,
and I knew for a fact the poor fucker had fell.

He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
Then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
that son of a bitch, he blew the damn thing apart!

And he cursed and he swore as he rode out of sight,
"Fuck you all, I've had one hell of a night!"

---
about 140 different versions
140 versions of the night before xmas

BodyDroppedNikes · 12-21-2003, 05:17 PM

LOL good shit man!!

CRX-YEM · 12-17-2004, 02:45 PM

Bump, Bringing back an oldie but goodie

Funny's for xmas

Slammed90Lude · 12-17-2004, 03:09 PM

Bring back threads from the dead for the sake of adding 0 value comments will not be tolerated

click clack locked :P

Battle Pope · 12-17-2004, 04:19 PM

I like the Korn version.

Calesta · 12-17-2004, 05:28 PM

I love Korn.

hcivic.com · 12-17-2004, 05:32 PM

back to the oldies

EXtremeAccord · 12-18-2004, 03:20 AM

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for Von Claus
He was up in my ass with a vigorous thrust
Then in came his mother, with the triple-X-sized bust

She smacked Claus around, she made him her bitch
I almost felt sorry, but only a titch
Then out of nowhere I found myself ready
To bone Claus right back, right in his heady

I skull-fucked the man, I skull fucked him good
His mother enjoyed it, while she tickled her "hood"
Until I broke through, the base of his skull
And poor Von Claus collapsed, his appearance came lulled.

The moral of the story, my sick little fucks
Is never bone a ricer, not even for ten bucks.

*LET US MAKE TEH S3NS3!!!1!

12-21-2003, 03:58 PM	#1
CRX-YEM Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Wallingford, CT Age: 32 Posts: 4,430 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 91 CRX Rep Power: 86	Twas the night before xmas and all through the house everyone felt shitty, even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and Dad smoking grass, and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter, I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter. Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Prick. He came down from the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the fucker had fell. He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight, "Piss on you all and have one hell of a night!!!" Happy Christmas and have a merry New Year. -- Slightly different Version 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was getting laid, even the mouse. With Ma in her whore house and dad in jail, I had just settled down for a nice piece of tail... When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter, I sprang from my sister-in-law to see what was the matter. I threw open the shudders and threw out the hash, tripped over my boner and busted my ass. And out on the lawn but what should appear but a rusty ol' sleigh, and 8 fucking reindeer. Out of the sleigh jumped a big, fat dick... and I knew in an instant it must be St. Prick. "To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls, on you bastards before I cut off your balls!" He came down the chimney like a bat outta Hell, and I knew for a fact the poor fucker had fell. He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. Then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, that son of a bitch, he blew the damn thing apart! And he cursed and he swore as he rode out of sight, "Fuck you all, I've had one hell of a night!" --- about 140 different versions 140 versions of the night before xmas __________________ Dennis Buy my stuff plz... Mondaswap For Sale - MPFI, 88-91 CRX, 92-95 Civic Parts Please don't PM/Email/IM me for technical support. Make a Post!!! 91 CRX DX, 03 Civic EX "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who get binary and those who don't." "Of all my imaginary friends I don't think there was one I didn't end up having to kill"

12-17-2004, 02:45 PM	#3
CRX-YEM Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Wallingford, CT Age: 32 Posts: 4,430 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 91 CRX Rep Power: 86	Bump, Bringing back an oldie but goodie Funny's for xmas __________________ Dennis Buy my stuff plz... Mondaswap For Sale - MPFI, 88-91 CRX, 92-95 Civic Parts Please don't PM/Email/IM me for technical support. Make a Post!!! 91 CRX DX, 03 Civic EX "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who get binary and those who don't." "Of all my imaginary friends I don't think there was one I didn't end up having to kill"

12-17-2004, 05:28 PM	#6
Calesta Admin with a big stick Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Dallas / Fort Worth, TX Age: 32 Posts: 24,525 iTrader: 0 / 0% Ride: 2003 S2000 Rep Power: 291	I love Korn. __________________ DO NOT PM me with tech questions! Use the forums! Intercrew Auto Salon - (972) 485-8688

12-18-2004, 03:20 AM	#8
EXtremeAccord Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Mo-therfucking-desto, CA Posts: 332 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 14	Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except for Von Claus He was up in my ass with a vigorous thrust Then in came his mother, with the triple-X-sized bust She smacked Claus around, she made him her bitch I almost felt sorry, but only a titch Then out of nowhere I found myself ready To bone Claus right back, right in his heady I skull-fucked the man, I skull fucked him good His mother enjoyed it, while she tickled her "hood" Until I broke through, the base of his skull And poor Von Claus collapsed, his appearance came lulled. The moral of the story, my sick little fucks Is never bone a ricer, not even for ten bucks. *LET US MAKE TEH S3NS3!!!1! __________________ Yes, I am the idiot.

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12-17-2004, 03:09 PM	#4
Slammed90Lude Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: milford, PA Age: 24 Posts: 3,748 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 51	Bring back threads from the dead for the sake of adding 0 value comments will not be tolerated click clack locked :P

12-17-2004, 05:32 PM	#7
hcivic.com Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Calgary Alberta canada Posts: 4,577 iTrader: 0 / 0% Rep Power: 59	back to the oldies