chick problems

okay, so heres the deal...i need some real advice...so me and this girl, we started going out, the thing is we were pretty good friends before we were going out. so we were "together" for like 3 weeks, then she broke it off. her reasons were pretty valid, she has two jobs, is a full time college student, and she is in the college show choir, so she is pretty busy, but on top of that, she was going out with this guy for 5 years, and he cheated on her a bunch of times, in fact one of his "mistresses" is now carrying his baby and they are getting married. so she is just really scared about getting into a really serious relationship, which is why she broke it off. She said she still cares about me, and that she wants to be with me, but shes not ready, because we were headed down one of those really serious paths...so now she said that we should just be friends, because she cant give the relationship 100%. what do you guys think i should do? i really care about this girl, and i know she still cares about me, and i'm cool with waiting till she's ready, but the question is, should I?

I think that her reasons are valid and that it's okay for you to "wait" for her. Especially since there is a strong friendship there. So you two are the same age? You list what is going on with her life, what is yours like?

yah, we're the same age...my life is cruise...i go to a part time job for 4 hours where i make like 15 bucks an hour then i go home and work on the car and cruise with my friends...coming from a girl, what do you think i should do while i am waiting...how should i act...like we still kiss and have sex and stuff, but we dont spend nearly as much time together...but i should just give her, her space, right?

I think that still be cuddly when you're together. Light body contact. Be affectionate, but maybe don't make it all sexual. Be more than a friend, but just see what she's in the mood for. Buy her flowers occasionally, be romantic.

What concerns me now is how little you are doing with your life. What are your career goals? If you really like her for the long run, you might what to exert yourself more. Maybe take an evening class in something. What is your gf going to school for? Your gf is pushing herself while you are not. What are you waiting for?

^ one of the smartest women alive.

sounds like me with the job thing. i know i can do much better than what i am, but im comfortable and i dont really have too much motivation.

but...

if you can, stay close with her. be there to lend a helping hand, but dont lead her... u know what i mean...

Red94's advice is priceless here. This girl seems like a real deal of a woman. She's got her head screwed on, and shouldn't be passed up.

Red94's advice of being close, yet not sexual is the way to go. That keeps her heart with you when she leaves, but leaves her open to not think that you're overbearing.

Her activities will be coming to a break soon - Winter breaks from school and this choir thing isn't going to last forever.

-> Steve

So when she's ready, she'll be yours whole heartedly.

thanks for your advice guys, it helped a lot...and as far as what i am doing with my life, my car is my life!!! nah nah, i am planning to be an auto mechanic...i live in hawaii, and we have a shortage of ase qualified mechanics, so the ase certified mechanics make 80-90 grand a year! so yah, by working on my car, i am going to school...but i go to college as well, getting my associates degree, forgot to mention that...hehe

ill have to disagree...girls want it just as bad as men do.....she's BS you. if she liked you she'd would not break it if or take it down a lvl or wutever she did...if you had a girl you really liked would you tell her "WAIT" because....

your young.. she wants to be friends for now .. GREAT.. now go get your groove on and bang lots of hotties. dont hang out and wait for her..not worth it. And chances are..she will see u with other chicks then be back on your jock.. its a win win situation.... u can thank me later.

honestly?


move on, dude. if it aint gonna work the first time, it prolly wont work in the futur. you can't fit a square peg in a round hole.

true



say, to threadjack one more thread this half hour, did you ever pass emissions?

Well to those pessimists in here... in all of these relationship threads, we don't know these people. They may have some real chemistry going, maybe not. The best thing overall is to offer some encouragement. I think that it's entirely possible that his gf just has too much going on in her life to deal with a blossoming relationship. She just may have her priorities in having a career over a bf. That's really cool. Matt has some good things going on in his life. But I still think having a part-time job and then more carstuff with his friends isn't productive enough. Even with the promise of a high-paying future as a ase certified mechanic in Hawaii, I think that he should take a course in something else. Something fun and different in the arts like film (movies) studies. It just would open his world up a bit more. Many mechanics at the dealerships seem a little tired of their jobs after a while...

But anyway, I think it's okay if Matt wants to wait awhile for this girl. She seems special and not your typical airheaded girl.

c'mon dude, didn't you see dumb and dumberer??

chicks are for fags, man.



lmfao

for the most part, women suck. but if you find the right one, well, thats a completely different story. it seems like you may have a good thing going here and you should stick around and see what happens. don't push anything, don't expect anything, just be a "friend" with a little contact. if she wants more, well, give her more, but make she she really does want it.

update: i found out one of the main reasons...like i said, she has plans, and one of her plans is to move to new york, and its like a dream for her...she was going to try us out, but things were getting really good and she was going to give up that dream for me. but she realized that she really wanted to go to new york and i told her straight out, i'm a hawaii boy for life...so yah, i think we're just going to be friends from now on. I could never see myself away from hawaii...it sucks, because i know we would be great for each other, but hey, sometimes lifes a bitch...i dont want to hold her from her dreams, but i dont wanna move to new york, so, yah, it sucks. but we still talk and do intimate stuff, just we dont have a title...we're just friends, its cool.

I just want to hold you
But I don't want to hold you down

-ATB

I know what it's like man. Having what seems to be the only thing in life that matters to you, and having it all get taken away with once sentence. In both our cases- I'm moving/going away.
I've been there, done that.... it hurt like fuck. This is 4 years ago now, and deep down, i'm still not over the girl.
just don't loose touch like I did. always be there for her. no matter what.