And then the fight started....

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eg6sir

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on the TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...


My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started...


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...


A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect..'
And then the fight started...


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
 
I read the first one before I opened the thread and thought "I didn't think eg would be stupid enough to say that to his woman".

Good stuff. I love the mad cow one.
 
Of course you did Jersey boy...It was between this guy:

big-money-guidette.jpg


and this guy:

2gsoduh.jpg


over who has fucked more stinky dudes buttholes
 
Of course you did Jersey boy...It was between this guy:

big-money-guidette.jpg


and this guy:

2gsoduh.jpg


over who has fucked more stinky dudes buttholes
Guidos are pussies. They never fight. I talk shit and yell until the bouncers come over. This fight was between a black kid and a PR kid. The PR kid got his ass tuned up after he started the fight. Insta-regret.
 
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