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Are we not in a joking mood anymore?

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Celerity, Jun 20, 2004.

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  1. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?

    You can roast beef.


    Where do you find a dog with no legs?

    Right where you left him !


    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

    A Stick.


    Why do Gorillas have huge nostrils?

    They have huge fingers !


    What's the difference between a Harley and a Vacuum Cleaner?

    Placement of the dirtbag.



    -> Steve
     
  2. tab

    tab Super Moderator

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    ;) :D
     
  3. JDMilan

    JDMilan Senior Member

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  4. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    non-racial clean jokes?

    shit....

    <<racks brain>>






    <<seriously fucking racks brain>>






    <<scratches ass>>






    ok ok ok:





    Two bannanas are standing on the banks of a raging river trying to figure out how to get across, then they see a turd floating by on his back with his arms behind his head. Says one bannana to the other: Do you believe that shit?


    A bear comes up to a rabbit in the woods and asks him if he hates it when he gets shit on his fur when he wipes his ass. Rabbit goes "No, not really". So the bear picks him the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.


    Two mexicans...... wait no....

    Three black guys are in a airplane.....wait....no

    Two chinamen.......dammit....

    A Rabbi and a Priest are walking by a middle school when all of a sudden two children kick a ball over the fence and it hits the rabbi on the head.

    "Fuck kids" goes the rabbi.

    The priest goes: "Do you think we got enough time" ?




    Child molestor and a kid are walking in the forest and it's getting kind of late and dark. "I'm getting kind of scared" says the little boy". The child molestor goes "How do you think I feel, I gotta walk back alone"





    How are a mexican and a cueball alike? The harder you hit them, the more english they pick up !!!




    Why did the fag cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken.





    What do you get when you turn a blonde upside down? A brunette with bad breath
     
  5. JDMilan

    JDMilan Senior Member

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    :bo: much better.......lol
     
  6. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    if a deaf kid were to swear, would his mom make him wash his hands?
     
  7. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Why don't blind people sky dive?

    It scares the shit out of the dog.


    Black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and the bartender says:
    "Hey, that's pretty cool ! Where did ya get that?"
    "Africa." Said the parrot.


    Why did Helen Keller have a big burn on her face?

    She tried to answer the iron.


    -> Steve
     
  8. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    hahah some of them were pretty good. First 4 of Steves sucked tho. :p
     
  9. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    Q: Why are there so many battered women's shelters nowadays?


    A: Because women just don't fucking listen.....
     
  10. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding days?

    A: That's the color most kitchen applicances come in




    Q: It's 4:00 pm, your girlfriend comes running out of the kitchen, SCREAMING at you at the top of her lungs. What did you do wrong?


    A: Made her leash 6 feet too long.




    A classic:


    Q: What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
    A: Nothing, you allready told her twice.



    I read last week how there are more than one million battered women in the United States each year. And all these years I been eating them raw.


    Why was OJ's mom happy that OJ got out of jail before Thanksgiving?

    He was the only one in the family that could carve white meat.



    Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?

    A: A women who won't do what she's told.


    Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

    A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
     
  11. MugenCRX

    MugenCRX Senior Member

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    Q. Whats a Mexican?

    A. Proof that Indians had sex with buffalos.


    Q. Why do Mexicans eat tamales around Christmas?

    A. So they have something to unwrap.


    Q. Whats the difference between black people and snow tires?

    A. Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.
     
  12. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    whats the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives home???



    the dishes if she knows whats good for her
     
  13. gomezkun

    gomezkun Yay for DOHC VTEC ^_^

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    Sexist

    Q: Why don't women use umbrellas?
    A: It doesnt rain in between the kitchen and the bathroom

    Q: How does a woman change a lightbulb?
    A: Who cares! Let the bitch work in the dark

    Q: Why dont women wear watches?
    A: The only one they need is on the kitchen stove

    Q: Why do women have small feet?
    A: So they can stand closer to the sink

    Q: Why wasn't Helen Keller a good driver?
    A: Cause she was a woman

    Retarded

    Q: What the fish say when it hit the wall?
    A: DAM!

    Q: Whats blue and fuzzy?
    A: Blue Fuzz
     
  14. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Why do Mexicans drive lowered cars?

    To drive and pick lettuce.

    Hear about the Jewish tires ?

    They stop on a dime. And pick it up.

    ->Steve
     
  15. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    What did the blonde say after having multiple orgasms?

    "Good going team"
     
  16. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb???

    2

    one to change the bulb, the other to suck my dick
     
  17. gomezkun

    gomezkun Yay for DOHC VTEC ^_^

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    ROFLMFAO!

    Dude, that is soooo horrible - its great!!!!
     
  18. adnoh

    adnoh Senior Member

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    hahahahaha here are some more....

    Why did the woman cross the road?
    Who cares, how the fuck did she get out of the kitchen and who gave her shoes??

    A busload of East Indians drove off a cliff and everyone died....whats the tragedy?
    The two back seats were empty.

    What do you call three black men in a BMW?
    Organized crime.

    What do you throw a drowning East Indian?
    His wife and kids.

    Q: Where do white babies go when they die?
    A: Heaven.
    Q: When they get there, what do they get?
    A: Wings.
    Q: And what are they called?
    A: Angels

    Q: Where do black babies go when they die?
    A: Heaven
    Q: when they get there, what do they get?
    A: Wings
    Q: And what are they called?
    A: BATS.


    Retarded ones.....

    Whats better than winning the gold at the special olympics?
    Not being retarded.

    Lame jokes.....

    Two goldfish are sitting in a tank. One turns to the other and says "do you know how to drive this thing?"

    Two birds are sitting on a Perch, one turns to the other and says "do you smell fish?"

    Two apples are sitting in an oven...one apple says to the other apple "hey, it's hot in here eh?", the other apple then screams "aahhhhhhh!!!! a talking apple!!!!"
     
  19. DarkHand

    DarkHand Senior Member VIP

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    For some reason those are the only three I laughed at. :D
     
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