1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Bored? Get your kicks with a crackhead...

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by civicious, Feb 18, 2006.

  1. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

    Messages:
    9,855
    Likes Received:
    629
    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    I discovered a fun game today… there are shitloads of bum motherfuckers at almost EVERY corner in Houston. I was sitting in my car a bit ago smoking a cigarette at a stoplight, and this bum walks up to my window. My window was down, and I didn’t get to roll it up in time. He walked up and just kinda looked at me all sad and shit, and I noticed he wasn’t wearing shoes, and it’s like 20 degrees outside. I felt sorry for the poor guy, so I gave him a cigarette. He was like 'thanks man, I could always use a cigarette'.

    And then I got to thinking. After some thought, I realized, just about any bum will accept a cigarette, mostly because they're crackhead bum motherfuckers.


    Now, I’ve got these things called 'cigarette loads' ( http://www.dixiesgifts.com/Cigloads.html ) that you stick down in a cigarette about halfway, and when the flame or whatever hits it, it explodes. I’m not talking about a ‘pop rock’ that you throw on the ground and it pops style explosion, but like a Black Cat firecracker. These fuckers are LOUD. So I load a few cigarettes up with the 'cigarette load' about halfway down, and go back out driving. As soon as I pulled up to a stoplight, sure enough there’s some crackhead bitch standing there looking all cracky and shit. I was like 'hey, I don’t have any cash, want a cigarette?' and she walks up all cracky-like and says ‘unhhhhh yeah’ and grunted or something, and I handed her a cigarette and lit it for her. I immediately drove across the street to the McDonald’s and park my car, and watch.


    Have you ever seen someone who's high on crack, when a cigarette fucking EXPLODES in their face? Let me tell ya, it’s absolutely fucking awesome.




    I almost pissed on myself laughing.
     
  2. pills_PMD

    pills_PMD Super Moderator

    Messages:
    4,232
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Location:
    New Albany, OH
    wow you are fuckin ruthless

    i mean RUTHLESS
     
  3. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

    Messages:
    12,934
    Likes Received:
    740
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Maryland
    Now I dont feel so bad for you not getting your money or exhaust back.

    ASSHOLE



    Funny but fucked up.



    This also explains why you got your car stuck in the back yard, and cought the other one on fire. or was that the same one? hmmmm

    :p

    Karma baby, just with you its working backwords, your shit blows up then you screw with crack whores.
     
  4. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

    Messages:
    9,855
    Likes Received:
    629
    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    [19:45] jeffie7: watch that lady spend the rest of her life (nothing but free time) tracking your ass down
    [19:45] greyfades: dude, she's a crackhead
    [19:45] greyfades: lol
    [19:45] jeffie7: then when she finds out where you live she will key your car using a stick or something
    [19:45] jeffie7: then wait a fw months and do it again
    [19:45] jeffie7: and again
    [19:45] jeffie7: and again
    [19:45] jeffie7: and again
    [19:45] greyfades: lmao
    [19:45] greyfades: if she's using a stick
    [19:45] greyfades: it isn't really 'keying' the car
    [19:45] jeffie7: well anything laying around
    [19:45] jeffie7: shes going to stick it
    [19:45] jeffie7: or rock it
    [19:45] greyfades: crack it?
    [19:45] jeffie7: rock would be easily had
    [19:46] jeffie7: lol that would be a good hint
    [19:46] jeffie7: when you find crack on the hood
    [19:46] jeffie7: maybe some burn marks
    [19:46] greyfades: lmao
    [19:46] greyfades: theres gonna be blisters and crackpipe burns on the lip
    [19:47] jeffie7: that would be funny if someone rocked your car
    [19:47] jeffie7: then as soon as you got it fixed not a day later it happened again
     
  5. driver1

    driver1 Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2003
    LMAO!!!!!! thats fucking hilarious!
     
  6. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

    Messages:
    9,392
    Likes Received:
    245
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    Location:
    New Jersey
    haha, thats great. i never give bums or crackheads shit, its not my fault they fucked up their life. but that just seems like fun.
     
  7. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,057
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    damn, wish you had a vid...
     
  8. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    54
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    thats fucked up dude....
    MAINLY because you offered it.

    if they harrased you for a smoke, then by all means give 'em the pop. but to OFFER one to them... thas just fucked up.
     
  9. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,969
    Likes Received:
    146
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    I throw money at beggars. Like, I chuck it at them hard.

    i'm never getting the money back, so I want some form of entertainment.
     
  10. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    79
    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    Location:
    DMV
    I've gotta try this sometime.
     
  11. d.b.cooper

    d.b.cooper Mid-life Crisis Swap

    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Location:
    Phoenix Metro Area
    will, youre one sick individual...I had to laugh at the image I must admit..there is a quicktrip gasstation by me where a lot of the economically disadvantaged go to buy water for their desert camps. I have noticed that they will bum cigs out of the ash tray..fairly whole cig left in the ash tray would be awfully tempting..




    By the way, if I ever use the cig lighter outlet in the hatch for anything other than the radar detector, should I be ready to flinch?
     
  12. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

    Messages:
    2,150
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Thornton, CO
    Wow man, that's really fucked up. But hilarious nonetheless. I'm usually just nice to the bums, although that does sound tempting.....:ph34r:
     
  13. Citizen_Insane

    Citizen_Insane Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,698
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2003
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    I'm so happy people like you exist in this world /sarcasm
     
  14. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

    Messages:
    9,392
    Likes Received:
    245
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    Location:
    New Jersey
    why? its not his problem they are poor. if i smoked i would probably do it. they always bother me. just leave me alone, im poor too.
     
  15. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

    Messages:
    7,180
    Likes Received:
    121
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Location:
    Oregon
    LOL dood you should win a Nobel Prize for this!
     
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page