A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again! , you're fired."
Halloween Joke. A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of >> this house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awful >>cute. >> Who are you suppose to be?" >> "We're Jack and Jill" she replied. >> The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!" >> So, they go off and a while later they come back dressed >> differently. >> They ring the doorbell and once again the man opens the door. "Well >> now, >> that is just too darn cute.Who are you this time?" >> "We're Hansel and Gretel" says the little boy. >> "Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel >> because you're black. >> Heads hung low, they leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell >> ring again.This time when he opens the door, there stand the two >> children, but this time they are BUCK NAKED!!"Oh my! And just who are >>you >> supposed to be now?" he asks. >> "Chocolate M&M's," said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's with nuts."
