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Emotionally confused

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by George777, Jun 7, 2007.

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  1. George777

    George777 ^^ Likes Bewbies

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    So yesterday I had the "pleasure"--for lack of a better term--to abort my child. I really didn't want to do it, but at the same time, I think it was the better choice. The girl involved was wishy-washy in what she wanted, not only in this decision, but also in her life. She's a high school drop out, young, and doesn't really have much going for her besides her family. I, on the other hand, am not getting any younger, and couldn't have been more excited when I found out she was pregnant.

    Part of me is wondering what it would have been like--I would have liked to have known what my child would have been, what it would have liked to do, and everything else a parent wishes for their children. Granted this is the first time that I have impregnated a girl, but it's still hard none-the-less...

    Emotionally, I keep going back and forth. One minute I am relieved this whole thing is over, but at the same time, I really want a child. I have remained indifferent on the whole Pro-Life/Pro-Choice standpoint, but it was because I never had to experience it. Now I am even more confused about what I want, or how I really feel about it.

    I can't stop listening to that song by Kenney Chesney, "Who You'd Be Today". Something about that song hits me hard...

    I don't know...I'm just going to stop talking. I don't even know what I am saying anymore...
     
  2. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

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    i've been there man. it's never easy. and just so you know, the girl wont be the same either. i want a baby also, i just don't know who i want to have it with. i would rather wait and be a loving father and husband than have a child with someone i didn't think long term with.

    if you aren't sure if it was the right thing to do, then it probably was the right thing to do. if you are in a gray area, then you might not regret it.

    save your love for a child you want and are ready for with a woman you love.

    and wrap your god damn tool from now on.
     
  3. nootrac22

    nootrac22 Well-Known Member VIP

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    picking a sound partner is the best choice anyone can make. I had the misfortune of impregnating a bi-polar, ocd, manipulative, no ambition or direction in life, highschool drop out, stripper. who after i moved cross country for a better environment to raise our child in got a good stable job bought use a house worked 2 jobs to support the house hold could turn around and tell the police that i beat her so she could go to a womans shelter and have me busy being investigated. so she could take off with our son cross country to tucson az to her sisters house. then after 4 months 2 lawyers (one here in pa and one in tucson)and $10k in legal fees I had to fly cross country and go with 3 sherriffs in bulletproof vests guns badges and court documents to get my son back. so take if from me if the partner is unstable in the least you didn't make a bad decision. I now have the pleasure of trying to explain to my 5 yr old son when he asks (how ever rarely) where his mommy is and why she dosent visit or call. Oh and after the 10k i can't afford to get divorced.
     
  4. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    You have a girlfriend out there ? Is she coming back here with you ?
     
  5. George777

    George777 ^^ Likes Bewbies

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    I don't know if I would call her a girlfriend...not much of a relationship. Not sure that I wanna settle down with her or not. I love her for who she is, but I'm not in love with her...
     
  6. klyph

    klyph Dismember VIP

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    That's really sad man. I won't judge you or try to make you feel guilty, but yeah, sorry to hear that.
    That must throw a huge fuckin monkey wrench in that relationship.
     
  7. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    insert pissedoffplatform image here.

    good job :)
    seriously. i fully support abortion.
     
  8. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    Well, I'm adopted. I also have had an abortion. I opted to have general anethesia for the exact reason you're feeling the way you are. If I had seen the procedure or 'lived' through it, I wouldn't have been able to deal with it.

    Think this way... if she wasn't a stable person, the child would have had an unstable life. The same holds true with adoption... I was given a chance to live and grow up with a family who couldn't have children. I have never met my biological mother... I wish I could find her. I have 2 kids of my own and I couldn't have given one up for adoption after carrying for 9 months. When I had the abortion, I did so knowing that I was 'doing the "right" thing' so to speak. I would have been unable to give the child a stable home. I wouldn't want to live in the ghetto of CA and live off welfare either.

    If you want to talk, I'll listen. You'll mourn. Life will go on. Hell, I wonder every single day if my mother remembers me... on my birthday, does she think about me? To me, that feeling can be worse than abortion...
     
  9. klyph

    klyph Dismember VIP

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    Dude, even IF abortion was the right decision, it's not something to be congratulated about. An innocent human life has been ended because someone decided that it would be in their best interests.

    You talk as if death is better than life without biological parents, have you ever been dead? I'm willing to bet it sucks. Personally I would take a chance at life, even a crappy one with shitty parents, over death.
     
  10. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    i'm not going to turn this into a life/choice debate.... you have a daughter and like kids. I don't really want kids (at least not now). I can barely take care of myself, let alone someone who looks like me.
     
  11. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'm sorry for your loss. I know it must be hard to go through, but I beleive that what you did was the right decision. From what you have said about the girl, she doesn't sound like the person who you want to be the mother of your children. If you can't even call her your GF and you're not sure you want to settle down with her, or even love her for that matter, then this is not someone you want to have a baby with. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life raising a child with someone who you only feel 'so-so' about? This is something you have to be absolutely sure about, unless you plan on severely screwing up your kid's head or childhood. Anyways, I'm sorry for your loss but you made the right choice.
     
  12. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    but is she coming back here ?

    The decision looms !
     
  13. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    caught in a mosh...
    damn man. sorry to hear that. :(
     
  14. George777

    George777 ^^ Likes Bewbies

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    I don't think so...

    I know what you mean...I also am adopted and had a rough childhood. I never knew either of my biological parents, and I really wasn't too keen on my adopted parents either. I think that is why I am so uncertain about the whole thing. I remained "middle of the road" on the whole abortion thing--until this. I think I know deep down that it's for the better that it happened the way it did, but it's hard getting to the point of accepting it.

    Thanks for the support, I just might feel like talking one of these times...

    It didn't start getting awkward until she decided that this is what she wanted to do. At least she had the common sense to realize that she wasn't ready for a child at this time, but like you said, I am not sure that I would have wanted for her to be the mother of my child.

    That it did...more so in the last few days than before. I think the reality of the whole thing hit once we were there to have the procedure done. It almost feels like she wanted to get rid of the child in attempts to get rid of me--I know that wasn't the case, but it's the first thing that ran through my mind. I thank you for not casting judgment on me--ultimately it would have been her choice regardless of what I wanted.

    There are lyrics to a song that go something like...

    I'm gunna use self control instead of birth control,
    cuz $xxx isn't worth your soul...

    Powerful words when you think about them...
     
  15. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    Too bad your mother didnt abort. Then you wouldnt have had to go through this. And that hard life of yours. Wouldnt that have been better?
     
  16. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

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    this might be insensitive, but how much did it cost?

    I think the last one I paid for was about $500.
     
  17. George777

    George777 ^^ Likes Bewbies

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    $580...

    Go ahead and flame away--I don't give a rats ass about what you think or your opinion on the matter. If you don't have something constructive to say, then mind your own business. If I wanted any of your lip, I would wipe it off my zipper...And if you must know, my biological father was killed in a car accident while my mother was pregnant with me, and my biological mother died while giving birth to me.

    It's arrogant, indifferent pricks like you that make us all wonder why more people don't swallow...
     
  18. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    As I said. Your mother should have aborted. Then you wouldnt be here crying about how you killed someone. Do you feel bad? You gonna squirt some? Are your feelings hurt because you offed your child? You poor thing.
     
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  19. George777

    George777 ^^ Likes Bewbies

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    From what I've been told, my parents were very decent, hard working people who intended upon having me. I could care less about your attitude towards this--it doesn't involve you. If you think I am posting this to get sympathy, then you are wrong. The last thing I need is some fucktard like you thinking that they know everything trying to put their opinion out like it matters. I bet you had everything you wanted as a kid--So I guess that makes you better than everyone. I guess anyone that didn't have the cozy life you did is inferior to you--must be nice.
     
  20. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    Then why did you post it on a public forum that I attend?

    Again.. Why post it, then?

    What does that have to do with abortion? Or this conversation for that matter?
     
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