Italian Memories: - You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral. - You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich." - Your family dog understood Italian. - Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family. - You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout. - You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven. - You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday. - You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling. - You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday night. - You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven. - You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel. - You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles. - You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores. - You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter. - You ate your salad after the main course. - You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world. - You were hit at least once with a wooden spoon. - You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand. - You learned to play bocce before you went to school. - You can understand Italian but you can't speak it. - You have at least one relative who came over on the boat. - You grew up calling the bathroom the baccausa. And you only had one. - You were surprised to learn most kitchen utensils had another name which didn't end in a vowel. - All of your uncles fought in a World War. - You have relatives who aren't really your relatives. - You have relatives you don't speak to. - You drank wine before you were a teenager. - You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it. - Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You WERE sitting on plastic. - You thought that talking loud was normal. - You thought cookies and the Tarantella were common at all weddings. - You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and had money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives. - Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family, no matter what their age. - Every lunchmeat you ate ended in a vowel. - There was a crucifix in every room of the house, including the cellar. - There was a saint somewhere in the yard. - Boys didn't do house work because it was women's work. - You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. - You know what lemon ice is. - You called pasta "macaroni." - You have at least one irrational fear or phobia that can be attributed to your mother.