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Friday Funny

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by dohcvtec_accord, Jun 11, 2004.

  1. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    Not written by me, obviously.



    I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I never yet have figured out how the "sexual desire gene" gets thrown into a state of turmoil when one utters the words, "I do."

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her "emotional needs" as a woman. I'm thinking "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to "happen" that night, so I went to sleep.

    The very next day we went shopping at a big chain department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes, worth $200.00 a pair, to which I say ok. Then we go to the jewelry department, where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you - she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet, because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was ok. She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said "I'm ready to go to the cash register."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

    I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the Spring of 2008.
     
  2. Sobe_Death

    Sobe_Death Senior Member

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    LMAO!!!!!
     
  3. DarkHand

    DarkHand Senior Member VIP

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  4. lsvtec

    lsvtec GNU/Linux Evangelist

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    Awesome.

    :cockblocked: :bo: :bo: :bo:
     
  5. B16

    B16 Super Moderator VIP

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    that is the best fucking shit ever
     
  6. complicity

    complicity Senior Member

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  7. Havok

    Havok Senior Member

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    lol, good shit
     
  8. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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  9. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    takes notes. lol

    funny shit man. thats awesome.
     
  10. corvetteguy

    corvetteguy Senior Member

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    o man, that is freggin funny she got :owned:
     
  11. NotUrAverage_Si

    NotUrAverage_Si Senior Member

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    :/
  12. Frankie P.

    Frankie P. Senior Member

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    That is a fucking awesome joke. Good shit.
     
  13. liquid00meth

    liquid00meth Senior Member

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    hahahah finally revenge for blue balls
     
  14. Drock42

    Drock42 Senior Member

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    Hell yeah man...I laughed so hard that my girlfriend came in to see what was so funny...when she finished reading she slapped me in the back of the head. So I hit her with this:

    [​IMG]
     
  15. phunky.buddha

    phunky.buddha Admin with a big stick Admin VIP

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  16. lsvtec

    lsvtec GNU/Linux Evangelist

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    My finace thought that (the story) was pretty funny.
     
  17. phunky.buddha

    phunky.buddha Admin with a big stick Admin VIP

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  18. Havok

    Havok Senior Member

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    Eric is engaged?! 0h n0s!

    When did you take the plunge?
     
  19. xj0hnx

    xj0hnx I wanna be sedated VIP

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  20. lsvtec

    lsvtec GNU/Linux Evangelist

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    We got engaged in Feb.
     
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