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fun with santa

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Dec 14, 2004.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    Retirement Home
    pissedoffsol: hi
    SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.

    So, have you been naughty or nice?

    pissedoffsol: nice
    SantaClaus: Outstanding! I'm very happy to hear that! Everyone on my Good List gets a special gift here on Dec. 22! Now, type menu to enjoy the fun and games the elves have here on AIM for you.

    pissedoffsol: why the 22nd? x-mass is on the 25th
    SantaClaus: I don't think I know.


    pissedoffsol: but you're santa- you have to know
    SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.


    pissedoffsol: your elves are retards
    SantaClaus: Something you want to know about them?

    pissedoffsol: yeah, why don't they know?
    SantaClaus:
    Because (obviously) -- Christmas.




    pissedoffsol: worst answer ever
    SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!

    pissedoffsol: ok, menu
    SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:

    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    pissedoffsol: 1
    SantaClaus: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?

    pissedoffsol: a hot, thin, tall, brunette with 34b's and a killer ass
    SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
    A lump of coal for you. Please don't do it again or I won't be able to listen to your wishes. Is there anything else?


    pissedoffsol: lol
    SantaClaus:

    What would your last Christmas wish be?



    pissedoffsol: i want to bang mrs clause
    SantaClaus:
    You can ask me all about that after you tell me what you want for Christmas!

    So, what is at the top of your list?



    pissedoffsol: mrs clause
    SantaClaus:
    You can ask me all about that after you tell me what you want for Christmas!

    So, what is at the top of your list?



    pissedoffsol: mrs clause
    SantaClaus: Please do recall that I have a list and I check it, well -- constantly. If you keep saying the same thing over and over again I am going to have to start checking my list again.


    pissedoffsol: give me coal
    SantaClaus: You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!

    pissedoffsol: tell santa to fuck off
    SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! Back for more? What else tops your list for Christmas?

    pissedoffsol: deer meat. mmmmmmmmmmm
    SantaClaus: Is there anything else?


    pissedoffsol: no
    SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! All right, that gives me lots to go on! Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.

    pissedoffsol: poll
    SantaClaus: Help us decide the best all-time holiday song by typing a number:
    1 - Jingle Bells
    2 - Let It Snow
    3 - The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting...)
    4 - Silent Night, Holy Night
    5 - Santa Claus is Coming to Town
    6 - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
    7 - Deck the Halls
    8 - Joy to the World
    9 - White Christmas

    pissedoffsol: 9
    SantaClaus: Thanks! Here are the latest top vote-getters:

    1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town!, 2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, 3. The Christmas Song, 4. Jingle Bells, 5. Let it Snow

    -- If you're in the mood for music, why not tune in here while we are chatting: Classic Holiday Radio@Netscape or go back to the menu for more fun and games.

    pissedoffsol: spammer
    SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.

    pissedoffsol: bah, you suck. im bored with you already santa
    SantaClaus: Whoa Ho! Ho! Now, there's no reason for that language, I am doing the best I can.


    pissedoffsol: fuck you
    SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me.
    That's a lump of coal for you.


    pissedoffsol: eat coal
    SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?

    pissedoffsol: no
    SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.

    pissedoffsol: i mean yes
    SantaClaus: Pardon me?


    pissedoffsol: yes
    SantaClaus: Yes!!


    pissedoffsol: yues
    SantaClaus: Why did you say that?

    pissedoffsol: yes
    SantaClaus: Without a doubt?


    pissedoffsol: yes
    SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.

    pissedoffsol: no
    SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!


    pissedoffsol: bah humbug
    SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?

    pissedoffsol: yes
    SantaClaus: Would you like to see some links to other things to help put you in the Christmas spirit?

    pissedoffsol: yes
    SantaClaus: Here's a list of fun places to put you in the holiday mood:

    AIM Holidays: Entertaining & More

    AIM Home & Real Estate: Deck the Halls & More

    AIM Movies: In Theaters This Season

    AIM Music: Holiday Music & More


    pissedoffsol: spammer
    SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.


    pissedoffsol: menu off
    SantaClaus: This will get you in the Christmas spirit in no time Type a number:

    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    pissedoffsol: 6
    SantaClaus:
    pissedoffsol: nice post, ass hat
    SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.


    pissedoffsol: you suck
    SantaClaus: Ho! I told you once, no bad language. Another lump of coal for you. I'm afraid that if you persist, I will be forced to sign off. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.


    pissedoffsol: when im gone, come to gether like butt cheeks. im out
    SantaClaus: While you are asleep.

    pissedoffsol: im out
    SantaClaus: AIM moves many billions of messages a day. This is the only network in my league .

    pissedoffsol: aim sucks
    SantaClaus: The elves use AIM all day long -- it's really improved our productivity!

    pissedoffsol: elves suck
    SantaClaus: Listen. Elves rock. Period. Get off them.

    pissedoffsol: you get them off?
    SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?

    pissedoffsol: you masterbate your elves?
    SantaClaus: Love them.

    pissedoffsol: jolly old saint prick?
    SantaClaus: I don't respond to that kind of language.
    A lump of coal for you.


    pissedoffsol: boring
    SantaClaus: Well, I'm sorry if you have a short attention span. Type menu and maybe the things the elves have left there will entertain you.

    pissedoffsol: menu
    SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number:
    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    pissedoffsol: :blocked:
     
  2. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

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    LMMFAO!! I laughed out loud and almost fell out of my chair
     
  3. adidas_man

    adidas_man Honorary Honda Driver

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    :lol: lol more coal for you :lol:
     
  4. Cashizslick

    Cashizslick !i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

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    Cashizslick: hi
    SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.

    So, have you been naughty or nice?

    Cashizslick: naughty
    SantaClaus: Oh my! Well, there is always time left to get on my good list... ... and if you do, you will find a special free gift here for you on Dec. 22! To get in the spirit, type menu.

    Cashizslick: menu
    SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:

    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    Cashizslick: hey santa
    SantaClaus: Hello again. I hope you are getting in the Christmas spirit. The big day is getting very close!


    Cashizslick: how old are you
    SantaClaus: I'm a little rusty in this area. Maybe you can tell me? I was born December 6, 343 A.D.


    Cashizslick: umm, what do you think about jesus
    SantaClaus: What do you think?


    Cashizslick: i think that you both may have a discrepancy over the true meaning of christmas
    SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.

    Cashizslick: yeah, but you still didnt answer my question
    SantaClaus: Without a doubt?


    Cashizslick: ?
    SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what?


    Cashizslick: dude, ill ask you again
    SantaClaus:
    It's not so much the 'what' as it is the 'why'.




    Cashizslick: what is the true meaning of christmass
    SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what?


    Cashizslick: what is the true meaning of x-mas
    SantaClaus: What, indeed!


    Cashizslick: i think you have some white powder on your nose, and its not snow
    SantaClaus:





    Cashizslick: . . . . . i was wondering how you could have the energy to deliver EVERYBODY's presents in the whole world on the same night
    SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?


    Cashizslick: how much for an 8ball . . or can i just get one in my stocking
    SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know?


    Cashizslick: well, you DID just admit to using it
    SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.

    Cashizslick: then how come you always type back so quick to me
    SantaClaus: Elves.

    Cashizslick: what about em
    SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?


    Cashizslick: elves = ghey
    SantaClaus: I've got all I can handle.

    Cashizslick: elves are ghey
    SantaClaus: Love them.

    Cashizslick: ghey elves
    SantaClaus: O.K. I know. I get it. You've said the same thing a few times in a row here. Type menu so we can get on with the fun.

    Cashizslick: ur not having fun?
    SantaClaus: Maybe.

    Cashizslick: maybe if what
    SantaClaus: Hmm... What, what?


    Cashizslick: [liljon]WHAT[/liljon]
    SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?


    Cashizslick: [liljon]huh?[/liljon]
    SantaClaus: Oh dear.
    Maybe I should send one of the elves over to lend you a hand?
    Actually, just type menu and I think I can get you on a good track.

    Cashizslick: ur buddy icon makes u look fat
    SantaClaus:
    It's not all fat. I'm pretty big-boned, if you know what I mean.




    Cashizslick: can you elaborate?
    SantaClaus: Dunno. What do you think?

    Cashizslick: ur stupid
    SantaClaus: Ho Ho! Now you and Mrs. Claus could probably get along very well.


    Cashizslick: she hasnt told you about us?
    SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?

    Cashizslick: i fucked ur wife
    SantaClaus: I'm only asking you to try asking me and the elves another way.


    Cashizslick: ok, i have a question for the elves
    SantaClaus: Something you want to know about them?

    Cashizslick: is santa gay?
    SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.


    Cashizslick: y?
    SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.

    Cashizslick: no
    SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!


    Cashizslick: coke? where?
    SantaClaus:
    Where, what? I'm an old(ish) man.




    Cashizslick: . . . .. .
    SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!

    Cashizslick: >:eek: i dont like you
    SantaClaus: Excuse me?


    Cashizslick: >:eek:i dont like you
    SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.
     
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