ONE - Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets I asked for a half
dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the reply. "So, I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO - The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a
couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the
girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it
all
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she
said
to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my
mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE - A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for
a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR - I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk."
FIVE - Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. "What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX - I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
"Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid"
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets I asked for a half
dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the reply. "So, I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO - The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a
couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the
girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it
all
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she
said
to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my
mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE - A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for
a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR - I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk."
FIVE - Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. "What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX - I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
"Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid"
