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Help - I Burned My Girlfriendss Cooter

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by kyleirwin, Jan 9, 2007.

  1. kyleirwin

    kyleirwin Retired OG

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    k this is what is happening,

    my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so i need your help

    Heres some background:

    see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

    and whatever yeah i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz


    So she came like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

    "no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

    So I gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

    Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wouldnt fit in properly.

    Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwave it for 8 minutes, and then i poured it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

    I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat please help me.

    Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
     
  2. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    lol
     
  3. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    ummm yes? this time make it Bond.
     
  4. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

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    early nominee for worst thread of the year...
     
  5. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    you're not serious are you?? :blink:
     
  6. 801CRX

    801CRX Got Rice?

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    Oh fuck, I cant stop laughing..................this is great.
    Give her some ice :b
    And the whole N64 system!!!
     
  7. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    wtf?

    has he been hacked?

    he's obviously not a virgin.... he has a kid. lol
     
  8. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    quite possible^^^.. who in they're right mind would start a thread out about their 15 yr old GFs :blink: crotch on fire..
     
  9. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

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    i thought it was about some guy who gave is gf an std. that would have been more interesting than this bullshit.
     
  10. 801CRX

    801CRX Got Rice?

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    Yeah a little fishy, but funny................youve gotta admit it.
     
  11. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    15 will get ya 20! lol
     
  12. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    no shit... thats why it seems so fake, that the ages were posted 22 and 15.. who the fuck announces that shit?!?
     
  13. 801CRX

    801CRX Got Rice?

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    +2
     
  14. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    has anyone heard of a joke?
     
  15. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    That belongs on grouphug.co
     
  16. DarkHand

    DarkHand Senior Member VIP

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    This is an old joke. :D
     
  17. jdm_slut

    jdm_slut That JDM girl

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  18. smarty009

    smarty009 Senior Member

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    yea...olllllllllllllld joke...but its still funny as hell...
     
  19. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Butter in the microwave for 8 minutes makes plasma
     
  20. schado

    schado New Member

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    yep... good stuff
     
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