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high school essay quotes

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    Subject: Actual analogies, Similes and Metaphors found in High School Essays



    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
    compressed by a Thigh Master.

    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
    underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
    schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it.

    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.

    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
    before it throws up.

    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.


    7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
    his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
    surcharge-free ATM.

    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
    ball wouldn't.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
    with vegetable soup.

    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy
    comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
    them in hot grease.

    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
    grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
    Cleveland at 6:36pm traveling at 55mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19pm at a
    speed of 35mph.

    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
    resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
    also never met.

    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East
    River.


    18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only
    one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
    plan just might work.

    21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
    for a while.

    22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
    real duck that was actually lame... maybe from stepping on a land mine or
    something.

    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.

    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
    she were a garbage truck backing up.


    26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any
    pH cleanser.

    27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

    28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
    the wall.
     
  2. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
    before it throws up.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
    she were a garbage truck backing up.

    :bo:
     
  3. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    ROFL. some of these are histerical. i';m sitting at my desk laughing.... lol 21 is a good one..... it gives you this mental image, of a pissedoff hungry dude... lol
     
  4. adnoh

    adnoh Senior Member

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    :bo: :bo: :bo: :bo: :bo: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

    Dude, I actually shed a tear... too perfect.
     
  5. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    nah. number 5 made me bust out laughing...LOL
     
  6. adnoh

    adnoh Senior Member

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    #8 was hilarious!!! Who the fuck writes that???? :lmao:
     
  7. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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  8. adnoh

    adnoh Senior Member

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    My entire office is in fucking tears!!!. Best funny post of the year!!!!!!!!!
    :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
     
  9. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    yeah, this is a good one. :p
     
  10. La_Pieuvre

    La_Pieuvre Senior Member

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    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
    ball wouldn't.

    :lol: Look out Hemingway and Poe... you ain't got nothing on today's kids!
     
  11. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
    resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    :owned:
     
  12. Slammed90Lude

    Slammed90Lude Senior Member

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    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
    plan just might work.



    wow, LMAO!!
     
  13. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    this list is OLLLLDDDDDD

    still pretty funny though
     
  14. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    Hater.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
    with vegetable soup.

    I think that one is actually pretty good.
     
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