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Honeymoon jokes

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by jeffie7, Jun 2, 2004.

  1. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

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    Three guys, a dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter, all have a
    friend. Their friend is getting married. They decide to play a prank
    on him on his honeymoon.

    "I'll saw the bed, so that once they start bouncing, the bed will
    break," says the carpenter.

    "I'll wire the bed, so that once they get into bed, they will get
    horribly shocked," says the electrician.

    "I'm not going to tell you what I am going to do, but it will be
    good," says the dentist.

    A week later, they all receive the same telegram from their friend. It
    read:

    "We could deal with the breaking bed, we could even deal with the
    shocking springs, but whoever put Novocain in the KY Jelly should
    DIE!"




    _________________________________________________________________




    So this couple checks in to a fancy hotel for thier honeymoon. About 5 in the afternoon, just after checking in, the groom is dressed in his fishing outfit and is leaving the hotel. The desk clerk sees this, and find it really odd...
    The second night the groom does the same thing....
    The third night the same.
    Till on the fourth night, the desk clerk stops the groom and asks.
    "Hey mister, I know it's none of my business, but didn't you just ger married?"
    The groom replies "Why yes, I just did a couple days ago."
    So the clerk inquires deeper..."Well then, if I were you, I'd not leave the room for a couple days!"
    The groom looks at him and says "Oh, I see...You mean sex? I'm afraid I can't have sex with my wife, she has gonorreah."
    The clerk looks puzzled...."Well sir, if you can't have sex the usual way, how about anal sex?"
    The groom looks around, and shakes his head. "Nope, can't do that either...she has diarreah."
    The clerk is shaking his head..."You poor bastard...well, how about oral sex?"
    The groom sighs..."You see, I couldn't do that either, my wife has piarreah."
    By this time the clerk is so pissed off, his comment just comes out.
    "Mister, your wife has gonorreah, diarreah, and piarreah...What the hell did you marry her for?"
    The groom says "Well, if you must know, she also has worms, and I LOVE TO FISH...."
     
  2. Frankie P.

    Frankie P. Senior Member

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    The second one is fucking sick. I LOVE IT!!!!!
     
  3. driver1

    driver1 Senior Member

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    thats not right
     
  4. TDaddy

    TDaddy Senior Member

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    that last one's fucked up!

    :bo:
     
  5. Citizen_Insane

    Citizen_Insane Senior Member

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  6. Havok

    Havok Senior Member

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  7. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

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    :werd:

    the first one made me quasi-laugh...the second one was just teh lame.
     
  8. tab

    tab Super Moderator

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