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How to shower like a man/woman

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by jeffie7, Aug 24, 2004.

  1. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

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    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaff a cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    ====================

    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner
    at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.

    Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

    Admire weiner size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
    towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.
     
  2. hcivic.com

    hcivic.com Senior Member

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    soo true
     
  3. YouKnowWhoIBee

    YouKnowWhoIBee my avatar is better.

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    that seriously is how it is . You hit the nail on the head. Ecspecially(sp) the part about making the shampoo mohawk and then peeing.
     
  4. TDaddy

    TDaddy Senior Member

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    sounds about right...except my wife walks around the house nekkid jes fer me. :wub:
     
  5. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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  6. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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  7. JDMPlaya

    JDMPlaya Senior Member

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    :fosho:
     
  8. StarBellieAngel

    StarBellieAngel Senior Member

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    i make the woo woo noise while shaking my titties and ass... does that count? i don't do ANYTHING on that womens list... cept the shaving and washing hair, just not with all that vitamin blah blah crap.


    *shrug*
     
  9. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    Hmmm. Seems pretty right, except I'm the one who bitches about a nasty bathroom, not Heather. She couldn't care less.
     
  10. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Do you guys have a camera in my house and bathroom??? :ph34r:

    I only blew my nose because of my alergies :unsure:
     
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