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how to shower like a woman

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by eg6sir, Dec 8, 2005.

  1. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
    lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
    way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
    sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
    loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
    husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound!

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
    whole time.

    Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
    towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again!

    Throw wet towel on bed.


    ****If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
    this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh,
    and....woo woo!!!
     
  2. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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    Nice!
     
  3. EGProject

    EGProject YEEEEAAHHHHH

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    Absolutely true. A shower is supposed to be a faster alternative to taking a bath - women just don't get it.
     
  4. Estorvito

    Estorvito Soy Boricua

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    bahahha..OLD BUT sooo true.....


    [​IMG]
     
  5. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    shaking the weiner at the g/f is fun :)
     
  6. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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    Truer words have never been spoken....but women dont get a lot of things...like cars. Look at SweetInstinct
     
  7. Estorvito

    Estorvito Soy Boricua

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    bahahha..yeah...I do it all the time....at all of them....ITS A MUST..LOL
     
  8. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    all of them?

    you're a bad man.
     
  9. hondarin

    hondarin Please enter a value using 50 characters or fewer. VIP

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  10. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    i need to do that. i havent had hair long enough to do it in years. im almost excited to take a shower tommarow.
     
  11. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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    Me and my girlfriend walk naked to the shower together. So my routine is somewhat like this.

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. check.clothes are already off from the night before

    Walk naked to the bathroom. check

    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound! she usually grabs it while I'm brushing my teeth

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror. check

    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. check

    Get in the shower.

    Shampoo hair.

    Wash body with soap, including armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. CHECK

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. check

    Receive oral sex.

    Perform oral sex on girlfriend.

    Have sexual intercourse with girlfriend.

    Pee. check

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
    whole time. shower door owns

    Return to bedroom naked

    Throw wet towel on bed.
     
  12. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    a: You forgot to check off "get in shower" and "Wash" parts
    b: You're completely full of shit.
     
  13. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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    putting in the bold and checking off everything was getting to be a hassle. And no, I'm not full of shit. My girlfriend's shower has a seat built into it. That is actually VERY close to what our routine is almost everytime we shower.
     
  14. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    i keep the sex in the bedroom and the showering in the shower....most of the time. but i dont have the balance for sex in the shower, im scared ill slip and break "something".
     
  15. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    thats why.. his GF shower has a seat in it.. just for old people who cant stand in the shower not to have sex on.. but hey.. you two arent old .. so what else would you use it for [​IMG]
     
  16. Estorvito

    Estorvito Soy Boricua

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    oops...sorry....I meant to say.....SOME OF THEM... :p
     
  17. ripperbone

    ripperbone angry bear

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] yea right you meant ALL OF THEM
     
  18. hcivic.com

    hcivic.com Senior Member

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  19. UDT

    UDT Senior Member

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    I think every girls i banged in the shower was worrying about slipping more then me, lol if we fell for wordshe would catcha face full of tub and me a a nice cushined ass landing........ :mrgreen:
     
  20. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Guys come on now... by "something" he meant the doll.
     
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