Loco Honkey
Banned
I'm not going to make this long, because I'm tired and have a long few days ahead of me, buuuut...
I don't normally post what's going on in my personal life, but my grandpa is about to pass on in a day or two. He's called the whole family in to be by his side, and has said he's ready to die. He's fought liver cancer for almost 18 months. I'm not looking for sympathy or condolences. I'm just saying that it's things like this that make you look at the world and life in general in a different light. I've never lost a family member, and the only two deaths in my life have been my dog (best friend for 14 years), and a riding buddy of seven. I've been thinking a lot these past, I dunno... month or so that he's been off treatment, and have spent a lot of time with him on the phone. His wisdom of 84 years is bottomless. I wish there was some way to retain his knowledge, because when he's gone, it's gone. I'm not sad that he's about to die. I know he'll be in a better place. But we're socially trained to believe that death is horrible and should be avoided at all costs. I don't feel this way, as I feel it's just a transition from one plane to the other, but it still hurts. I'm having a hard time reading the monitor as I type this. I wrote a letter to him about a week ago. It wasn't long, but I said that I loved him and was proud to have him as my grandfather, and when I have a son, I'm going to name him William, in honor of my grandfather.
I guess I don't really have a point with all this other than to say that life is so so short and precious. We as souls on a great journey have very little time here to learn what we need to, and it's scary to hear about people wasting their lives by dying on bikes and in cars from being reckless. I'm not going to preach, beacuse I drive fast too, but you get what I'm saying. I called my grandma (mom's mom, whom I haven't gotten along with that well) up the other day out of the blue to tell her I love her and to wish her a happy birthday. It surprised the hell out of her, and it made me feel really good. I've also learned that the relationship you have with your parents is priceless. I haven't told my father I love him in... years... and now I find myself saying it at the end of every phone call or when I leave to go back to my place. It finally hit me that I only have ~30 years left with my parents. 30 years. That's it. That may seem like a lot, but there's quite a few of you who are around that age, and I know it doesn't feel like you've been alive that long, does it...? I'm rambling I know, but it's just all flowing out at once. And this is becoming longer than I planned. I know I yell at you all some times, er, well... most of the time, but deep down inside, I care about all of you as individuals who hold so much potential to learn and grow.
Please be safe and please go hug someone you care about and tell them you love them.
I don't normally post what's going on in my personal life, but my grandpa is about to pass on in a day or two. He's called the whole family in to be by his side, and has said he's ready to die. He's fought liver cancer for almost 18 months. I'm not looking for sympathy or condolences. I'm just saying that it's things like this that make you look at the world and life in general in a different light. I've never lost a family member, and the only two deaths in my life have been my dog (best friend for 14 years), and a riding buddy of seven. I've been thinking a lot these past, I dunno... month or so that he's been off treatment, and have spent a lot of time with him on the phone. His wisdom of 84 years is bottomless. I wish there was some way to retain his knowledge, because when he's gone, it's gone. I'm not sad that he's about to die. I know he'll be in a better place. But we're socially trained to believe that death is horrible and should be avoided at all costs. I don't feel this way, as I feel it's just a transition from one plane to the other, but it still hurts. I'm having a hard time reading the monitor as I type this. I wrote a letter to him about a week ago. It wasn't long, but I said that I loved him and was proud to have him as my grandfather, and when I have a son, I'm going to name him William, in honor of my grandfather.
I guess I don't really have a point with all this other than to say that life is so so short and precious. We as souls on a great journey have very little time here to learn what we need to, and it's scary to hear about people wasting their lives by dying on bikes and in cars from being reckless. I'm not going to preach, beacuse I drive fast too, but you get what I'm saying. I called my grandma (mom's mom, whom I haven't gotten along with that well) up the other day out of the blue to tell her I love her and to wish her a happy birthday. It surprised the hell out of her, and it made me feel really good. I've also learned that the relationship you have with your parents is priceless. I haven't told my father I love him in... years... and now I find myself saying it at the end of every phone call or when I leave to go back to my place. It finally hit me that I only have ~30 years left with my parents. 30 years. That's it. That may seem like a lot, but there's quite a few of you who are around that age, and I know it doesn't feel like you've been alive that long, does it...? I'm rambling I know, but it's just all flowing out at once. And this is becoming longer than I planned. I know I yell at you all some times, er, well... most of the time, but deep down inside, I care about all of you as individuals who hold so much potential to learn and grow.
Please be safe and please go hug someone you care about and tell them you love them.
you ji too!! B)
My father died without any notice it sucks.