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I love you guys.

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Loco Honkey, Jun 29, 2004.

  1. Loco Honkey

    Loco Honkey Banned

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    I'm not going to make this long, because I'm tired and have a long few days ahead of me, buuuut...

    I don't normally post what's going on in my personal life, but my grandpa is about to pass on in a day or two. He's called the whole family in to be by his side, and has said he's ready to die. He's fought liver cancer for almost 18 months. I'm not looking for sympathy or condolences. I'm just saying that it's things like this that make you look at the world and life in general in a different light. I've never lost a family member, and the only two deaths in my life have been my dog (best friend for 14 years), and a riding buddy of seven. I've been thinking a lot these past, I dunno... month or so that he's been off treatment, and have spent a lot of time with him on the phone. His wisdom of 84 years is bottomless. I wish there was some way to retain his knowledge, because when he's gone, it's gone. I'm not sad that he's about to die. I know he'll be in a better place. But we're socially trained to believe that death is horrible and should be avoided at all costs. I don't feel this way, as I feel it's just a transition from one plane to the other, but it still hurts. I'm having a hard time reading the monitor as I type this. I wrote a letter to him about a week ago. It wasn't long, but I said that I loved him and was proud to have him as my grandfather, and when I have a son, I'm going to name him William, in honor of my grandfather.

    I guess I don't really have a point with all this other than to say that life is so so short and precious. We as souls on a great journey have very little time here to learn what we need to, and it's scary to hear about people wasting their lives by dying on bikes and in cars from being reckless. I'm not going to preach, beacuse I drive fast too, but you get what I'm saying. I called my grandma (mom's mom, whom I haven't gotten along with that well) up the other day out of the blue to tell her I love her and to wish her a happy birthday. It surprised the hell out of her, and it made me feel really good. I've also learned that the relationship you have with your parents is priceless. I haven't told my father I love him in... years... and now I find myself saying it at the end of every phone call or when I leave to go back to my place. It finally hit me that I only have ~30 years left with my parents. 30 years. That's it. That may seem like a lot, but there's quite a few of you who are around that age, and I know it doesn't feel like you've been alive that long, does it...? I'm rambling I know, but it's just all flowing out at once. And this is becoming longer than I planned. I know I yell at you all some times, er, well... most of the time, but deep down inside, I care about all of you as individuals who hold so much potential to learn and grow.

    Please be safe and please go hug someone you care about and tell them you love them.
     
  2. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    and the softer side of ji comes out...

    i love you too man


























    good game
     
  3. MugenCRX

    MugenCRX Senior Member

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    I love you too man, and I know you didn't write this for condolences, but I see fit to still say that I am sorry that you have to lose someone so dear to you. As far as your post goes, I have also started telling my parents I love them after everything, before I leave and always before I go to sleep. I just feel that it is something that they should hear from me. Always. I also tell my good friends, because it is true, and I want them to know that I indeed care deeply for each and everyone of them. Once again man, keep your head up and keep doing what you do best, enlightening the masses with your wisdom, in whatever form it may be disguised as.
     
  4. yeahIdriveaTGL

    yeahIdriveaTGL Member

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    don't know ya well man, but i feel ya...i've lost three grandparents within 3 years...both my mom's parents and my dad's father...my gramma died when i was 13 or 14, didn't fully understand it...when her husband, my grampa died just a few years ago, i found myself grieving for both of them, it was very hard. my dad's dad died a couple years ago completely unexpectedly, but i know he knew i loved him and i loved him, still do...hang in there, thank God for everything you have, and live life to the fullest...death is just another part of life...there's a lot more afterwards

    anyways, i'm not gonna preach to anyone, but even tho you don't want them, my condolences bro
     
  5. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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  6. NissanNiNjA2nd

    NissanNiNjA2nd Senior Member

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    :hugs monitor and sends to everyone on the club:

    Have fun guys.. and "Take car of yourself and each other" -Jerry

    -Aaron
     
  7. NotUrAverage_Si

    NotUrAverage_Si Senior Member

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    Strangely enough this has also been on my mind this past week about my grandparents, Ji...

    I work at a funeral home and I witness the pain families go through everyday and you never really get immune to it. I've grown up around my grandparents and have never really thought about losing them until recently. I know they won't be here for much longer either but sometimes it's so easy to forget that and you somehow manage to convince yourself they'll be here forever...I also find myself calling and going to visit them more now than I ever have before.



    If I had a son or grandson who wrote me a letter like that, it would make me feel so good inside. There is no doubt in my mind that he also felt that way as he read your letter, Ji. Reading your post and now typing this, I'm starting to tear up. I pray you and your family will be strong during this tough time and that you will all know he is in a better place and someday you'll see him again.

    -Mike
     
  8. dohch22a4

    dohch22a4 Senior Member

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    It's good to know that Ji really does care for us deep down inside his black, pointy heart. :)

    But on a more serious note, I feel for you Ji. I've lost two grandparents and it sucks ass with extra bullshit because they're always the nicest ones. Sorry man. I'm glad to see that you accept it and pay your respects. I hate it when people bring so much drama into death.
     
  9. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Sadly...I feel for Ji.

    I lost my Grandfathers when I was young...but both of my Grandmothers are still kicking and yapping like normal old people do....My grandma on my fathers side is alway out and about....always in explore-mode..while on my mom's side, her mom just sit back, and watches the news and always finds something to complain about....


    but we all have our little quirks...and it is best to enjoy them while you have them, and remember them after they are gone. They already know that you love them...and you should know that they love you....


    Have a safe trip Ji.
     
  10. Prowler

    Prowler Super Moderator

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    i was thinking the same thing earlier this year. i've got 15, maybe 20 years left with my parents. that scares the hell out of me, especially when you put it into perspective of how long you've lived.
    enjoy life, make good priorities, and live each day like it's your last.
     
  11. Iron 1

    Iron 1 Senior Member

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    at least you're doing the right thing for him. most people lose a loved one with no notice at all. this way you get to be there and tell him everything, I think that's better for the both of you.
     
  12. JDMilan

    JDMilan Senior Member

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  13. cxjon

    cxjon Senior Member

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    i lost all my grand parents and my father all at a young age so i know how it feels to lose one errrr all
     
  14. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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  15. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    Chris <3 Ji

    I know how you feel, Ji. I've got a grandfather who's falling apart, both mentally and physically. It's hard watching a guy that I've gotten along with since the first day or my life have to deteriorate so badly. As you said, he's always been there for me and always knew what to say.

    It's gotten to the point where I don't like visiting him in the assisted care home, because usually, he's not in his right mind, or if he is, he isn't there for long.

    Don't worry man, it'll all work out. Plus, it's only, like, 360 days till the next Pikes Peak Hill Climb. :D
     
  16. lowandslow

    lowandslow Senior Member

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    have a safe trip ji, i dont know you at all really...but u have a way with words, no matter what u might be saying haha. and i think ur going about it the right way: dont mourn his death, celebrate his life :)

    i lost my grandma 2 years ago; and my grandfather, on the same faimly side, jsut went to the hospital 2 nights ago for heart failure.

    everyone here's family in my book
     
  17. Jeef

    Jeef NO MA'AM Moderator VIP

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    :werd: My father died without any notice it sucks.
     
  18. tab

    tab Super Moderator

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    Last year, when I felt that way, my mom asked me if I was planning on killing myself. When I explained to everyone that I had no intention of doing that, they all felt better. I take my friends and family out to a nice dinner time to time, and try to visit with everyone.

    The hardest part of watching a loved one die is when they stop seeing reality, and fade off into jibberish. My grandmother broke her hip, and was close to passing away. When I went to visit, she complained of the man that wouldn't stop wandering the halls moaning at night upstairs. I did all I could to calm her, but we were in a one floor facility :( .

    Precious few are the last moments with our loved ones. Enjoy them Ji. :)
     
  19. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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    hey man, i don't know you well either, but i wuv you too. i lost my grandmother who lived in Chile, South America along with the rest of my mother's family, and it was more wierd than anything. the communication barrier was a big factor, since she didn't speak any english except "i love you" a few months before her death. i told her "te amo mucho abuelita" in an effort at español but i still feel very good about it. she died and i missed her, but i had only seen her 3 times, because plane tickets for a family of 4 over 10,000 miles plus all the other stuff you need to pay for an intercontinental flight = quite a lot of money. but i feel for you, because my grandparents on my dad's side don't have much longer, but it's good to know they're going somewhere better. :angel2: :wub:
     
  20. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    Yea Ji, I dont know you either... but we've had our words and you've helped me in how to make a scale model turbo for my turbo ITR project. And you will be the person I trun to when it comes time to safely boost my CRX and my brohters 91 HB.
     
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