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I'm pregnant.

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Black Widow g2, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    The purpose of this thread is to explain a story I hope no one has to endure. I found out last week that I am pregnant. For a while, I wondered how far along I was. So, I went to my local 'Planned Parenthood' because the new insurance I have won't let me actually see a doctor since I haven't picked one. I find out yesterday that I am eligible for the medication RU486 (I have to say, it is surely a clever name... Are you for 86'ing this pregnancy)

    Well, it costs 445 dollars for a medication abortion. At my personal point I am not able to carry this to term and it is basically something that shouldn't have happened based upon things I won't discuss. Well, today was my scheduled appointment to begin my miscarriage. Low and behold, I can't get insurance to cover the costs due to the fact that it's a liability to them to use a 'local free' clinic.

    They told me yesterday it would be 200 dollars. I accepted. They inform me today that the real cost is 445 bucks. I had a sonogram yesterday that cost me 100 dollars. I am now 5 weeks pregnant and now I have to wait until next week to cover the costs.

    All in all, I am just fucking lost. I don't know what to think, my moral issues are being questioned and I am in a state of shock. I guess the reason I'm telling you all is because I'd want to let all the girls and guys know how taxing this is not just emotionally but economically as well.

    So next week, I will explain to you how it all works... but for now, I wait.
     
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  2. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Keep it. Healthy ? Keep it. We need more people on this planet with good morals, upbringing and personalities.

    We don't need more rich kids or privileged kids.

    That's not the point to having kids. The point is to continue the human race in a direction that is sensible and forward-thinking. You have what it takes to create such a person.

    I would rather hear of you having another kid than some ditzy shit-head broad with money and loads of options.
     
  3. klyph

    klyph Dismember VIP

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  4. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    Well, I have two children that I don't have custody of. I am fighting to keep them in my life at this point, and having a child from another person (yet again) is not an option. I don't have the money to feed it. I agree that I am a great mother, but when I don't have the kids I already brought into this world, it kills me. Not to mention the fact that I'm not even officially divorced yet. The father (who you all know, sort of) is not ready for a child yet either. In a few years, maybe. I'm not going to put myself on welfare to support a child, just so that I can carry it to term and try to support it eventually. I feel like I am in a state of confusion to put it mildly. I would love to have another child, but this simply isn't the right time.

    As far as anyone can tell, it is a healthy pregnancy... but it's not even a fetus yet. It looks like a black dot. It's amazing, but, it's also depressing and sad. I want to do it, but I know I just can't. I don't even know if I should mention this to his mother and my own family. I know his mother would be surprised, yet happy... she LOVES my kids, and of course wants her only son to have children, but I'm not about to make him do something he's not ready for either. I want a successful marriage, family, and life. It seems that this simply isn't going to happen considering I have had one failed marriage and two kids I don't get to see often enough. It takes money and a lot of emotions to get them back...
     
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  5. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    you know me... i'm pro abortion. lol

    but hey, do what you think is right for you and your family.
     
  6. dacheat

    dacheat ..is grounded.

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    i who don't even know you have no hope of helping you feel any better, but i would like to say this: everything in life is an opportunity for growth; some people grow like weeds, others like bonsai. take the path which brings you ultimately to the sunlight, and know that growth always takes before it gives, regardless of which path you choose.

    choosing to '86 takes guts and $, emotions and pain.
    choosing to keep takes guts and $, emotions and yes, pain.

    no one can judge, all can support. some will have opinions. you are the only one who has a choice.

    :heart:
     
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  7. invisibledemon

    invisibledemon Bored Moderator VIP

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    if the 86 is the way you personally feel you should go then do it.

    nobody elses opinion matters in this except your own.
    im pro abortion.
    i dont see that aborting this early in a pregnancy is anything near murder.
    its not even a fetus yet. truthfully i dont see how its much different than taking birth control.
    its not fromed, its just a germ as it is right now.
    aborting it now would be no different than it would be had it never been concieved.

    dont ever let any fucker try to make you feel bad for making this kind of choice.

    if you dont feel that you can handle this type of thing at this moment, then you should choose whats best for you.
    there is no reasson to feel bad.
     
  8. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    I'm not really trying to justify keeping it, I just wanted to explain to those who may end up in this situation one day. I've had an abortion before, but that's when I was like... addicted to drugs and alcohol and I wasn't prepared to raise a child, no less feel bad about any problems it would have had. Saying it that way, really makes me go 'oh my god, I couldn't handle having a child with birth defects, although it's what I'd have done to it.' Which isn't that at all. I would have accepted those problems I'd caused if I'd been able to handle having a child. Ugh, I am telling you all my life story... but since I have no people to talk to, it helps just to have an outlet.

    I just hope I can get the insurance to cover it in this time frame. I'm going to try everything I can, I just feel like I'm being treated like a sub standard human being. I appreciate you guys just listening. :) It's going to be hard either way I look at it, but I want to be able to raise a child and give it the attention, love, and place in my home it deserves. I would be in more emotional pain if I'd keep it and have to endure the 'Mommy, I'm hungry' again... 'I know honey, but this is all we have right now, I'm sorry.' It's the hardest thing I've ever had to put my kids through.
     
  9. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    Pro abortion? or do you mean pro choice?

    I'm pro choice, and if you don't want the child Misti, I support your decision for a miscarriage 100%.
     
  10. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    no, i'm pro-abortion. i think more women should have them so i don't have to pay for them.
     
  11. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    lol I'm not trying to see who's behind my decision, really, I just wanted people to understand what this does. I appreciate that you all support me. I do just need to gab about it and get it out of my system. The issue is really like... if we all chose who are parents are and begin on our life path, i'm keeping that from happening... although I've done that already once. That's the hard part. I don't know if any of you believe that, but it's just some of the many things I've been thinking of.
     
  12. boostedf22

    boostedf22 dis is why im not

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    x654,564,183,186,742,045,533,254
     
  13. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    Ok, here's what I really hurt thinking about: what it's doing to HIM. He's had a gf before who had a late term abortion (it was theirs) and she up and left him one day.... he assumes because of that. So, he's been silent the past few days except to give me hugs and say 'this must be so hard for you' but I'm really concerned about him. So, after he gets home from work, we are going to talk. The decision is made... it's just I want to know how he feels and let him know that I'm not holding this against him in any way.
     
  14. nootrac22

    nootrac22 Well-Known Member VIP

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    good luck. if you need to talk or support, I'm here, and I'm sure that there are many others on this forum who feel the same.
     
  15. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    I never said that !
     
  16. invisibledemon

    invisibledemon Bored Moderator VIP

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    :eek::confused:
     
  17. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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  18. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    Its more or less an investment.

    $500 now or years of cost, when you're already happy with your current position and two kids.
     
  19. integraslut78

    integraslut78 Stylus DJ Extraordinaire

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    Good Luck with whatever you decide to do Misti we all got yo back.
     
  20. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    I'm Pro-Choice. I have friends with kids and friends who have had abortions.

    Personally, me and the ex had a scare shortly after my friend past away last year. Normally I'm the, "I'll support you in whatever you decide baby" but given the situation I told her I wanted to keep it. We didn't agree on that but she wound up just being two weeks late anyway because she had just come of bc. That was a very painful and trying 2 weeks though.
     
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