Little Tommy
A stranger was seated next to Little Tommy on the plane when the stranger
turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go
quicker if you strike up a conversation with your
fellow passenger."
Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to
thestranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Tommy. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me
askyou a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same
stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat
patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that
is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
--
A pastor goes to a nursing home to visit an elderly parishioner.
As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and
takes one. As they continue their conversation, he can't help himself and
eatsone after another. By the time they are through visiting, the bowl is
empty. He says, "Mrs. Jones, I'm so sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of
your peanuts."That's O.K.," she says. "They would have just sat there anyway.
Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put'em back in
the bowl."
--
A stranger was seated next to Little Tommy on the plane when the stranger
turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go
quicker if you strike up a conversation with your
fellow passenger."
Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to
thestranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Tommy. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me
askyou a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same
stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat
patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that
is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
--
A pastor goes to a nursing home to visit an elderly parishioner.
As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and
takes one. As they continue their conversation, he can't help himself and
eatsone after another. By the time they are through visiting, the bowl is
empty. He says, "Mrs. Jones, I'm so sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of
your peanuts."That's O.K.," she says. "They would have just sat there anyway.
Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put'em back in
the bowl."
--
these are good
