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*JOkE*

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Sweet InStinct, Aug 28, 2003.

  1. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    A guy walks into a bar with a pet
    alligator by his side. He puts the
    alligator up on the bar. He turns to the
    astonished patrons. "I'll make you a
    deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth
    and place my genitals inside. Then the
    gator will close his mouth for one
    minute. He'll then open his mouth and
    I'll remove my unit unscratched. In
    return for witnessing this spectacle,
    each of you will buy me a drink."


    The crowd murmured their approval. The
    man stood up on the bar, dropped his
    pants, and placed his privates in the
    alligator's open mouth. The gator closed
    his mouth as the crowd gasped.

    After a minute, the man grabbed a beer
    bottle and rapped the alligator hard on
    the top of it's head. The crowd cheered
    and the first of his free drinks was
    delivered.

    The man stood up again and made another
    offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's
    willing to give it a try
    ". A hush fell
    over the crowd.

    After a while, a hand went up in the back
    of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke
    up.

    "I'll try, but you have to promise not to
    hit me on the head with the beer bottle
    ".
     
  2. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    What do you call a brunette standing between two
    blondes?

    An interpreter.



    Two blondes were walking through the woods and
    came upon a set of tracks. One blonde said that
    they were deer tracks. The other blonde said
    that they were moose tracks. They were still
    arguing when the train hit 'em.



    Q: Why did the blonde take drivers ed?
    A: So she could learn how to sit upright in a
    car!!!



    How do you know when a blonde has been working on
    your computer?
    There's white out on the screen and lipstick on
    the joystick!


    Two blondes walked in to a building.
    You’d think one would have seen it.
     
  3. sohcslammer

    sohcslammer Senior Member

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  4. sohcslammer

    sohcslammer Senior Member

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    How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?








































    Opens the car door. :p
     
  5. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?


































    Nothing. They have never met!
     
  6. sohcslammer

    sohcslammer Senior Member

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    Why is a blode like a turtle?

    Once they're on their back's they're fucked.




    What's the difference between a blonde and a 747.

    Not everone's been on a 747.




    How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?

    Blow in her year.



    A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, and superman are walking down the street when they come upon a $10 bill in the street. Who grabs it first?


    The dumb blonde obviously. The other two don't exist!
     
  7. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    A blonde went to the appliance store sale and
    found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV,"
    she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to
    blondes," he replied.

    She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back
    and again told the salesman "I would like to buy
    this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he
    replied.

    "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went
    for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new
    color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a
    few days before she again approached the salesman.
    "I would like to buy this TV."

    Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
    Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a
    blonde?"

    "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
     
  8. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    Blond and brunette are watching the
    news. The blond says to the brunette,
    "I bet you $100 that the man won't jump
    off the building." Brunette takes the
    bet, and the man jumps. Brunette says,
    "No, I can't take your money, I saw
    this before and I knew he jumped." The
    blond says, "I saw it before, too, but
    I didn't think he would jump again."

     
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