Jokes For A Change!

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If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?












Divorce proceedings, most likely.
 
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Originally posted by dohcvtec_accord@Apr 24 2003, 03:06 PM
Sono un mezzo italiano. Non l'ho parlatto per due o tre anni.
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and ur only HALF italian? thats pretty damn good if u ask me....

i understand ALOT better than i speak, just because english is/was the language primarily spoken.

every blue moon or so i meet an italian chick down at the bars. i seem to speak alot better when im fucked up....prolly cuz i loose my
inhibitions about me sounding like a idiot when talking. haha :lol:
 
Originally posted by Afipunk21@Apr 24 2003, 03:11 PM
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no parlo engliase perche il puzzo del tuo cafonismo avvelena l'aria
J/K!!!!!

and a BIG SP? goes out to that entire chopped up sentence haha
 
what's the difference between 4 black gentlemen and 4 snow tires?




-snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them



what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?




-a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
 
I took a bunch of Italian classes in college to fill up some free time. :)

Anyway, back to the jokes.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice already.

What do 10,000 battered women have in common?
The just...don't....listen.
 
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
 
so two newly weds are on vacation, they are spending the last day golfing, the drive off the tee sends the golf ball through a window into a condo. . . the couple decides to break in and steal the evidence, the initials GRZ on the ball will give them away. . . so while in the house a man apears dressed in a white robe. he says i will grant you each a wish. . . the couple gets very excited. . . they wish for 1 million dollars each. . the man in the robe says, you can not wish for money, however if you let me sleep with your wife i shall go against the rules for you two only . . . . . . after a lot of thinking they decide to do it, 2 mil hell yeah! . . . so they go up stairs and get it on for like an hour and a half . . . .

finally they come down, the man askes "where is my wife and I's money?". . . the man replies . . . "i throw your golf ball back out the window . . i can't beleive you two still beleive in that genie shit!"


polish inventions - screen door on a submarine, ejection seat on a helicopter, instant water just add water

what did the black kid get for x-mas? . . . your bike

i'm not racist i hate people for a reason
 
what did the tampon say to the vagina?


waddup blood....


what do u call a fat chinese guy?


a chunk.....
 
2 guys were caught selling drugs and taken to a judge to be punished, The judge looked at the too guys and saw that they hadn't much of a record before this and decided to let them off easy this time....the judge said to the two boys, "Because I am in a good mood today, I will let you off easy. I want you to go out and convince enough people to not do drugs. Come back in this room at 9am monday morning and we'll see how you did" the two ran off to go get people to not take drugs...

Monday morning came and the two were back in the court room. The judge asked the first one "how many did you get to not take drugs?" The first guy says, "I got 10 people to not take drugs!" "how did you do that?" the judge asks. "I took a sheet of paper, and made a big circle and a small circle, and pointed to the small one and said 'this is your brain on drugs!'" at this time the other one piped up and said, "you only got 10? I got 100!!!" The judge looked at him funny and asked, how did you do that? then he stated, "I also drew two circles, a big one and a small one, then I pointed to the small one and said this is your ass hole before prison"
 
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