SOMETHING TO OFFEND DAMN-NEAR EVERYBODY 1. What's the Cuban national anthem? A. "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" 2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? .A different bar. 3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?...........They named him "Sum Ting Wong." 4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? ................A speech impediment. 5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?.................They're hiring. 6. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? ..............Because they're not going to work in the future either. 7. What do you call an Arkansas farmer with a sheep under each arm?.......... A pimp. 8. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? .Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 9. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? .A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. 10. How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F word? .Get another sweet little 80-year-oldlady to yell *BINGO*! 11. What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale? .A northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time .A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." 12. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago when 100 white men chased 1 black man, we called it the KuKluxKlan. A.Today they call it the PGA TOUR. 13. Why is there no Disneyland in China? A.No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.