Just f*cking relax - Kanned's discovery

[Celerity]

Ok, so I realized I left this thread hanging today and am here to revive it considering I'm still in the same cluster-fuck when it comes to dating.


I see entirely where you're coming from and it must be nice to have that sort of confidence at all times, but I need to be let in by a girl before I can gain it. I need to get passed the greetings and into a conversation. I guess that kind of sucks for me, but it's the way I am for now.



You know, I have a problem here. I'm not a forceful person by any means, so when I get a "no thank you" in any way, shape, or form I accept. I think in the back of my head that I don't want to date a girl whom I have to convince from the start, but I guess that's the way it goes. Thanks man, I'm gonna start working on my backstroke.


Duly noted. If there's anything I've learned, it's that I'd much rather get a no than go home wondering if I could have gotten a number at the least.


Ok, so here's my latest news. I met this girl for the fourth or so time at a party last night. Let's just say she is as of today the most beautiful member of the opposite sex(inside and out) I have had the honors of talking to. I talked to her all night while drinking and had absolutely nothing but amazing conversations about everything.

So as we are both walking out to our cars with a group of people, I realized she had to park in a parking lot a little ways down the road, so I offered her a ride over there. We ended up talking for hours until the sun came up. When we were finally going to part ways, I looked her straight in the eye and asked if I could take her out to dinner sometime. I got a pause and I said "Even if as friends for the time being." to which she replied "Friends." before I could even finish the sentence.

This blows my mind, it has to be something about my physical appearance. Maybe it's because she takes dancing seriously and loves to do it, and I can't dance for shit and never took interest into it. It's shit like that that has been bugging me since that morning. I did get her number, and I don't want to give up on her but she is really good friends with two of my really good friends. I will call her later tonight(that waiting a few days thing is just crap) and see how that goes, but this sucks. She loves guitar, so I could write a quick and funny song to try and woo her a bit. All in all, it is 1000x less frustrating to get a crappy answer rather than not asking at all.

Should I just accept the friendship due to the circumstances? Steve, is there a hack to the ladder system? I think I'm fucked.

All good stuff. The late night talk is a good thing. Get back on that track. The "Friends" thing is honest. But you can jump ladders with women pretty easily. If she likes money, then the moment she realises a friend has money, he's jumped ladder.

As far as the dancing thing, we all takes cars very seriously. And when we meet a girl that does NOT take cars seriously, we think "Oh well, that's too bad" and we accept them for other things. Same thing. you don't have to dance to be around a dancer. You DO however, have to appreciate it in some way shape or form. But again, I've been proven wrong on that before (I know girls who gave up their life long dreams because their douchebag boyfriend pick on them for it). Which again, goes back to everything being chance.

Be yourself. If you were yourself that night when you guys talked, then you'll be good. Don't pretend. If you were pretending, then you'll need a way to segue back to you, or accept the fact that you were lying and any way of getting her closer will involve trickery and duplicity. Good luck with that.

You'll have to explain to me about her situation for her say "Friends". She could be fresh out of something, she could be working on someone else before she met you, she could have a boyfriend and be a total cheating trapeze artist. Follow up with me, and I'll tell you what I see.

 

[Kanned]

All good stuff. The late night talk is a good thing. Get back on that track. The "Friends" thing is honest. But you can jump ladders with women pretty easily. If she likes money, then the moment she realises a friend has money, he's jumped ladder.

As far as the dancing thing, we all takes cars very seriously. And when we meet a girl that does NOT take cars seriously, we think "Oh well, that's too bad" and we accept them for other things. Same thing. you don't have to dance to be around a dancer. You DO however, have to appreciate it in some way shape or form. But again, I've been proven wrong on that before (I know girls who gave up their life long dreams because their douchebag boyfriend pick on them for it). Which again, goes back to everything being chance.

Be yourself. If you were yourself that night when you guys talked, then you'll be good. Don't pretend. If you were pretending, then you'll need a way to segue back to you, or accept the fact that you were lying and any way of getting her closer will involve trickery and duplicity. Good luck with that.

You'll have to explain to me about her situation for her say "Friends". She could be fresh out of something, she could be working on someone else before she met you, she could have a boyfriend and be a total cheating trapeze artist. Follow up with me, and I'll tell you what I see.

I was most definitely myself all night. Cracking jokes nonstop and speaking the truth about everything. I may have even scared her off with a thing or two, but we were both digging deep. I don't try to get a woman out of desperation, so I'm not there to hook up and not worry about what comes after. Digging gigantic holes? No thanks.

Some of your questions are still my questions. If you are speaking of when she said "Friends" after I asked her to dinner, she meant she will go, but as friends. If you are speaking of our mutual friends, she is only friends and nothing more with all of them. Other than that, I don't know jack about her sexual status. I will be asking for some background info from a valid and safe source next time I speak to said source.

Sorry if you're question went over my head.

 

[Celerity]

Sorry if you're question went over my head.

It did, but that's ok

 

[Kanned]

All well, looks like I'll just have to fuck this one up on my own.

 

[90_EF_Hatch]

All well, looks like I'll just have to fuck this one up on my own.

thats the spirit

but really ... you got to dinner with her, your not giving your self enough credit. Maybe she does like you but she is playing the friend card for now to get to know you better. Either way you will still be walking into a restaurant with a cutie and guys will be lookin .

 

[totalburnout]

All well, looks like I'll just have to fuck this one up on my own.

I believe he was asking you a situational question regarding the details of this female's "friend status."

If a person just ended a relationship, especially a woman, they tend to say they want to stay single for a little while. They're just hurt, upset, or have lost hope in the opposite sex.

Thats an example of the sort of extenuating circumstances that I believe Steve was trying to uncover.

To throw my hat in the ring, the fact that she was comfortable enough with you to accept a car ride after a party and to stay up all night with you is a great sign. I'm confident in that sort of situation I would be able to quickly transcend from the "friend's zone" into the "significant other zone".

 

[UNDR8D]

I don't understand why you are 19 and freaking out about this. I mean, it's good to be introspective and evaluate yourself, but, you have a long life ahead of you. Wait until you are cresting 30 and still hopelessly single before you start to panic.

Also, if you are really a talented guitarist, fuck it...if you are a three-chord douchebag, the ladder turns into an elevator and asks, "how quickly would you like to get to the top" Guitars are notorious panty ruiners. I only play metal, which isn't very good for serenading girls, but, I'm so cool and good looking and funny that I don't need my guitar skills to get girls.

 

[90_EF_Hatch]

Acoustic man here


and i must agree with undr8d. Guitar + girls = endless possibilities.

I also use to do vox, play guitar in a metal band and i SWEAR to god i would be walking around a venue before/after a show with a girl under each arm grabbing my ass and shit lol. God i miss those days =/


so yeah, play the guitar card and play it hard.

 

[Briansol]

ha.

it's bullshit.

i play guitar
i have an m3

i don't get laid.

so, nice car and play guitar != girls want you. haha

 

[Celerity]

You also move only between your house and your job, and you never have your guitar with you.

So no one knows.

And I'm taking all my rep back from UNDR8D for the Celerity "Wait'll your 30 and desperate".. Man, that hit below the belt.

 

[UNDR8D]

I said wait til you're 30 and still hopelessly single...not desperate. There's a big difference. Fat bald douchebags are desperate. You, well, it's just something totally different.

 

[Celerity]

I am, as described by Yale before having security escort me to my bike, "Full of energy".

I need to update the Breakfast thread.

 

[Kanned]

thats the spirit

but really ... you got to dinner with her, your not giving your self enough credit. Maybe she does like you but she is playing the friend card for now to get to know you better. Either way you will still be walking into a restaurant with a cutie and guys will be lookin .

I know no matter what advice is given, I'll do/say whatever I feel is right when it comes down to it. Not that I am completely unaffected by the advice, but you catch my drift.

About taking her to dinner, I hang out with good looking girls all the time and don't really consider it flattering. I do have my standards when it comes to looks, but when I snag a girl that has a personality that can run parallel to mine I'll be flattered to have her around. That made me sound like a major downer, but it's how I feel.

I believe he was asking you a situational question regarding the details of this female's "friend status."

If a person just ended a relationship, especially a woman, they tend to say they want to stay single for a little while. They're just hurt, upset, or have lost hope in the opposite sex.

Thats an example of the sort of extenuating circumstances that I believe Steve was trying to uncover.

To throw my hat in the ring, the fact that she was comfortable enough with you to accept a car ride after a party and to stay up all night with you is a great sign. I'm confident in that sort of situation I would be able to quickly transcend from the "friend's zone" into the "significant other zone".

Ahh thanks, I get it now.

I was thinking the same thing about accepting the car ride and staying up, but there is just something she doesn't find attractive I guess. I talked to her on the phone for a while earlier and I still think she likes talking to me as much as I do to her, but I stand by my original statement.

I don't understand why you are 19 and freaking out about this. I mean, it's good to be introspective and evaluate yourself, but, you have a long life ahead of you. Wait until you are cresting 30 and still hopelessly single before you start to panic.

Also, if you are really a talented guitarist, fuck it...if you are a three-chord douchebag, the ladder turns into an elevator and asks, "how quickly would you like to get to the top" Guitars are notorious panty ruiners. I only play metal, which isn't very good for serenading girls, but, I'm so cool and good looking and funny that I don't need my guitar skills to get girls.

I wouldn't go as far as panic and freaking out, but I would most definitely say over evaluating. I do that I don't go around flaunting my guitar playing to get women, but I have seen first hand what it does to some of them... Especially jail bait. Open mic nights? Oh, and I am most definitely not a "three chord douche bag". I fucking hate people like that who will pickup a guitar no matter who owns it and strum their heart out to some Green Day. Sure I'm not out of the learning process and don't care if someone isn't very good, but I just don't want to hear you boast about it over and over.

It would be nice to have the mindset closer to that of an average male when it comes to dating, but I don't. I can find women, but I suppose I'm too picky personality-wise. Being picky when it comes to looks is easier considering all you have to do is look at them before talking to them. I have to waste countless hours every week talking to someone only to realize I would rather fuck a tube sock than date them.

Acoustic man here


and i must agree with undr8d. Guitar + girls = endless possibilities.

I also use to do vox, play guitar in a metal band and i SWEAR to god i would be walking around a venue before/after a show with a girl under each arm grabbing my ass and shit lol. God i miss those days =/


so yeah, play the guitar card and play it hard.

Haha, I've played at some smaller parties here and there and had girls go crazy. Idk, I don't want to fuck a girl just because I just played some guitar. If she liked it and used it as a conversation starter, that'd be great. If she wanted to fuck me instantly, then no thanks. Sorry, but I don't want a floozy.

ha.

it's bullshit.

i play guitar
i have an m3

i don't get laid.

so, nice car and play guitar != girls want you. haha

Rofl, looks like you need an m4 ^_^

 

[Briansol]

 

[90_EF_Hatch]

easily made me laugh harder than pretty much anything i have seen on this sight

 

[UNDR8D]

I wouldn't go as far as panic and freaking out, but I would most definitely say over evaluating. I do that I don't go around flaunting my guitar playing to get women, but I have seen first hand what it does to some of them... Especially jail bait. Open mic nights? Oh, and I am most definitely not a "three chord douche bag". I fucking hate people like that who will pickup a guitar no matter who owns it and strum their heart out to some Green Day. Sure I'm not out of the learning process and don't care if someone isn't very good, but I just don't want to hear you boast about it over and over.

Werd, werd, werd.

 

[phyregod]

Put on a wedding ring!
When I wear mine, I come home with two or three phone numbers. Hand 'em to the wife and grin ear to ear.

P.S. When my dalmation "Chief" was a little puppy, he was the most powerful chick magnet I've ever seen. Chicks come RUNNING from all the way across the park to chat it up with you. No joke.

Dalmation pup = win.

 

[UNDR8D]

Yes, puppies, rings, guitars! And it's not that girls are petty. They, like us, get nervous and need some kind of ice-breaker. Puppies and guitars are great ice breakers. As far wedding rings, well, those girls are just a bunch of filthy home-wreckers. I will fist them if I meet them.

 

[DarkHand]

Part 2:

 

[Briansol]

anteaters FTW