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Just wanted to say...

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by totalburnout, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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  2. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    aww come on! you're missing out on all the fun!!
     
  3. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    It took an 8-inch Q-tip in pee hole to find out though.
     
  4. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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  5. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    OUCH! well atleast it sounds like it'd hurt..
     
  6. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    OUCH.

    and too much info.
     
  7. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    good man, keep yourself checked out
     
  8. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    It was the first time I went and it was long past overdue. Those are just the unofficial results, official state results come back in a week and the HIV test comes back in two weeks.

    When the guy asked me how many people I had sex with I just blinked at him and then he asked me how many I had sex with in the last six months and if I ever had sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol - like that answer was going to be any better...

    Atleast the first question of "Why do you need a HIV test? Have you ever had sex with a man?" was an easy one.

    The big black lady made me drop trough and told me to point it up towards here while she violated me with a Q-tip. :(
     
  9. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    hahhahhaha thats hilarious. The part about you having to hold it while she prodded you with a q tip. was she an obese black lady? I dunno why, but obese black women always make things funnier..
     
  10. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    I went kayaking once, but came up clear.
     
  11. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    Arent you supposed to be in a photo shoot right now?
     
  12. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    I was told my camera takes shitty photos, so no.
     
  13. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    She was a big black woman. Atleast I felt more comfortable with her doing it, than I could have had any guy done the q-tip swabbing.


    WARNING FOR TOO MUCH INFORMATION BELOW
    She sits me in the chair, compliments the vascularity of my arms and says that they're good veins before she draws some blood.

    I'm sitting in the chair just waiting for the good stuff, because I had heard about the q-tip portion of the test before and I didn't know whether to believe every STD test involved the q-tip swab.

    She tells me to walk towards the window across the room and turn around.
    I oblige and walk across the room and turn.
    "Okay now pull down your pants and underwear."
    Me, being me, I was like whatever, at this point in my life more than a sizeable chunk of the population has seen me naked.
    Without hesitation or shyness I drop the shorts and briefs to the ankles. There's no sense in doing that Peter Pan bullshit where people are scared to expose themselves completely and only partially pull down their pants and make it difficult for the doctor.
    I continue to look forward unaffected, chewing a big wad of gum.

    "Now put your hand on the base of your penis and roll your fingers up to the tip."
    *blinks* Is she asking me to stroke it infront of her?
    I follow along and do so.

    "Good, just like that three times."
    "Now grab the tip"
    "Don't squeeze it like that!"
    "Point it up"
    *flails pecker in the air upward*
    "Towards me, towards my face"
    *q tip goes in* Oh, this isn't so...
    burning sensation, diving further down into my tunnel of love and hurting more as it goes further and further down. She must have swabbed the sides because it hurt like hell.

    -all done, pull your pants up-

    /Me. Immediately calls girlfriend. "The things I do for you, she shoved a q-tip up my pee hole!"
     
  14. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    excuses excuses

    so total, you getting these tests cause you're getting married?

    i dunno if this applies to cock docking with a qtip, but in general fosho
     
  15. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    I still have a lot to work out in my life before I run off and get married. I'm about to go into my final year of college and I'm currently lining up some very good jobs, so I don't want anything any other obligations to hinder the bright future I have ahead.

    In short, I haven't been with the current girlfriend that long and I just spent the past year being immature and entirely selfish in the way I treated women and myself. When I realized that I was only defaming my character by documenting my travels online, along with leaving a huge electronic trail of activities that I now wish would disappear into oblivion, I started to get my priorities back in order.

    The testing is something I should have done a year ago when I had a high risk encounter but I was too scared and selfish to go. Now was the time to make everything right.
     
  16. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    did she run that fucking line about "ok you might feel a slight discomfort the next time you pee"

    which actually means:
    "ok now as soon as you leave this room you are going to need to piss like you've been drinking all night, and when you do, you are going to feel the most uncomfortable burning sensation that you have ever likely experienced. the bathroom in the waiting area has handicap bars in it, those are not for handicap people, they are there because once you feel the 'slight discomfort' your knees are going to buckle and you will need to grab onto the handicap bar to keep from collapsing in a pile on the floor and pissing all over yourself"

    slight discomfort my ass
     
  17. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    I didn't have to pee but I suppose the burning sensation was much like what the describe as a symptom of clap - which if I had to deal with on a daily basis, I would sprint my butt down to the local clinic.

    I was driving home and felt like I was carrying a ball of fire in my lap. I was surprised that last night after I 'finished' for the first time since the test that it didn't feel any different. I'm thankful for that.
     
  18. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    PM 'em to me. I wont bitch about bad quality or dirty floors. ;)
     
  19. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    Now imagine that feeling... for 14 hours. Then delivering a lemon out of your pee-hole. That should give you appreciation for your mother. :p
     
  20. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    still begging for pics.. damn

    get a hold of yourself man!!
     
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