1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Letter to an ex

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by CRX-YEM, Nov 19, 2003.

  1. CRX-YEM

    CRX-YEM Super Moderator Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    4,623
    Likes Received:
    54
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Location:
    Wallingford, CT
    Dear Terri:

    I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

    The day you left, l swore I'd never talk to you again.

    But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking.

    Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. l guess my pride needed that.

    But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things.

    I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. l don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says...

    "There's no one like you, Terri."

    I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

    Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell.

    Every man's dream, right?

    But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean?

    Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes.

    But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

    Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?"

    It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch.

    Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

    Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Mt.Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of lasagne.She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're fucking in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us.

    And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor?

    We've had this old vanity for, what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself.

    That's the saddest part of all for me.

    But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)

    So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times.

    Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

    And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal* thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it. And how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby.

    In your heart you know it.

    Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.

    Because I love you, God help me but I do.

    Yours,
    Bill
     
  2. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

    Messages:
    16,127
    Likes Received:
    1,020
    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    ok???? Sounds like a rather grown up letter...sorta...
    I loved the thing about the quart of throat yogurt. :lol:
     
  3. 94RedSiGal

    94RedSiGal Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,147
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I read that on another forum yesterday. lol.
     
  4. sloazcrx

    sloazcrx Senior Member

    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
  5. swanny

    swanny Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2003
    Location:
    buck teeth and government checks, PA
    thats great, im gonna do that if i ever break up with my g\f
     
  6. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

    Messages:
    24,580
    Likes Received:
    696
    Joined:
    May 20, 2003
    Location:
    Central, MA
  7. knowledge

    knowledge Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,410
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Location:
    Beale AFB, CA
    But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?

    That is classic yo! :worthy:
     
  8. Fastciv

    Fastciv Member

    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Location:
    Ohio
  9. Smonkeyboy

    Smonkeyboy Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,775
    Likes Received:
    5
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Location:
    Spokane, WA
    wow i still cant decide if this guy is being sencere or if this is the most brilliant revenge letter ever

    :bo: :blink: :bo:
     
  10. B16

    B16 Super Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    11,539
    Likes Received:
    534
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Location:
    yay area, CA
    :lol:
    that is some funny chit!
    hahaa
     
  11. paragus

    paragus Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,363
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
  12. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

    Messages:
    9,855
    Likes Received:
    629
    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    im speechless....lmfao
     
  13. djyox

    djyox Senior Member

    Messages:
    982
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Location:
    Twin Cities, Minnesota


    Bahhhhahahahaha, I'm saving a copy of this and then breaking up with my girlfriend just to get the full efect......hahaha
     
  14. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

    Messages:
    11,091
    Likes Received:
    408
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2002
    Location:
    Washington
    :lmao: :lmao: That's grand.
     
  15. driver1

    driver1 Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2003
    lmfao that is fucking great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bo: :bo: :bo: :lmao: :lmao: :laugh:
     
  16. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,203
    Likes Received:
    21
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2003
    Sounds like something i am sending to my ex girlfriend of a long time ago... Ha Ha Ha... just to make her feel ilke shit... after her I adopted my "No Fat Bitches" Motto!!!
     
  17. MXDesa

    MXDesa Senior Member

    Messages:
    927
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Location:
    Queens, New York
    Damn is that a real letter or a joke? I'd think if your trying to get your wife back, you wouldn't emphasize on the fact that you slept with numerous women and her Sister! LOL :bo:
     
  18. civicdx92

    civicdx92 Senior Member

    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2003
    Location:
    MN
    No its off a joke and humor website. a buddy of mine caught that one and emailed it to me and i never got to read it but he mentioned the key points. Now i can just delete and not read it..... but it takes alot to be clueless like that dumb fuck :p
     
  19. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

    Messages:
    3,354
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Location:
    Memphis - Hellhole of the South
    Ok, so where's these when we need em! :)

    :idb:

    :pooper:

    LOL.

    Classic. That's absolutely awesome.
     
  20. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    54
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    sadly, i've written quite a few letters that start out like that... up to
     
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page