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Life is hard for me right now

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by formby, May 13, 2008.

  1. formby

    formby learning in progress

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    hey guys
    what's up?

    ill get right to my dilemma/depressive story...


    right after my son was born [1-10-8] i started a new job at another advertising company as the director of customer service. i took a pay cut of 4,160 a year and i have more responsibilities. however i dont have to travel 60 miles a day and i am appreciated more for my work at this new job. so it kind of rounds itself out.

    however this company is not meeting the sales goals set forth by the executives and we are not making much money. with this in mind i have been stressing. if the company closes i will be out of a job and i know that no place will pay me the amount that i get now. so i'm freaking out.

    i have been trying to escape this stress by drinking heavily and smoking a lot of pot [more than usual] and taking xanax. the drinking has affected my mental and body health also my family life has suffered. my wife is worried about me and my mom thinks that i have gone over the edge.

    i just came back from puerto rico and i had an [i was drunk] argument with my father about things that happened in my past with regards to him my mother and i. i.e when my mom brought me to the states my dad cut off his relation ship with her and i for years. and when i crashed my accord he stopped paying for my college.

    we argued for about an hour and buried everything right then and there. however, the thing that still hurts me the most is the he still tells me that i'm fucked for the rest of my life because i did not finish school and that my son is his revenge as a father.

    when it was all over i regretted being drunk at that time and i also had no reason to be drunk. no one but me was drinking and i over did it.

    i have accepted the fact that i am an alcoholic and a drug addict and that i need help.
    i want to turn my life around but i dont know how. i want to study public relations but i have no money.


    i feel so depressed, i feel like i have let down every one that loves me and myself. i want my son to have everything he needs and most of all i want him to know that he has a father that will be there for him no matter his failures.

    i wish i could turn time back and really study and dedicate my self to my education, but since i cant i guess ill just have to deal with it and suffer the consequences.

    how do you guys handle circumstanced like this?


    cliff notes
    i am feeling like shit. ^_^
     
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  2. nootrac22

    nootrac22 Well-Known Member VIP

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    stop or slow down on the vices. Realise that your son does have all he needs. He has a father and mother that care for him. Don't get caught up in the material bullshit of raising kids. All a child really wants from thier parents is time love understanding and attention. Give your child those things and he will want for nothing.
     
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  3. dacheat

    dacheat ..is grounded.

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    a friend recently told me that what you have now is what you wanted for yourself a year ago. so, if you didn't want something badly enough a year ago, it likely won't be the situation you find yourself in now. start thinking about what next year should look like, and then figure out the steps it takes to get there, and then start taking them.


    cliffs: find what you want, and make it happen.

    and your son will love you for trying. it seems pretty clear that your dad's failure to do so in your childhood has left an impression on you. your son does not demand perfection, he just wants to know you did everything you could to be the man he could depend on, love, and respect.
     
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  4. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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    drinking to the end of the bottle gets you..... well... to the end of the bottle. it doesn't solve shit, and as you posted yourself, it just makes things worse/creates situations.

    kick it. it's not heroin.
    if you can't stop smoking weed and drinking instantly, you got bigger problems.... like 'time to check in for 30 days' problems.

    will power. get some.
    packin a bowl? look at your kid. "Daddy, why are you a junkie?" might not be able to talk yet, but he's thinking it or will soon.

    time to grow up dude.
    weed is for college kids, once in a blue moon at a party, and blanco :D



    quit stressing about work. it gets you no where.
    you stressed like hell last time and you found another job (this one) in like 3 days. relax.






    your penance:

    go jerk off 5 times in a row in the bathroom.

    seriously. lol relax.
     
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  5. jdm_slut

    jdm_slut That JDM girl

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    I think is what you need to do is count your blessings.
    You have a family that loves you and need to strive for excellence and be the best dad you can be. Stop drinking, stop doing drugs, and use all the money your wasting to open up a college fund for your son. Spend more time with your family and be appreciative of them. You should have gave up all this shit as soon as you found out your lady was pregnant. Your a role model now, and you need to be a good one for your son. And you need to take a little time for yourself, stop being so hard on yourself..
     
  6. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    If you want some company I can come down.

    Or you can come up, I think flights from Orlando to NY or CT are less than $100.
     
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  7. formby

    formby learning in progress

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    i have turned down 3 invitations to go drinking today, and turned down free weed my"friend" wanted to give me.

    i am going to do this. PERIOD. i think i owe it to myself & my beautiful family.

    i like the fact that i can come here and get great advice from people i dont know personally or have even met [i met steve]

    i just picked up my son. wife and mom from the airport and the first thing they told me was that they are happy i have made this choice. i know its going to be hard but its worth it.

    thank you guys for the advice so far. sometimes people need to hear these things from strangers. i dont know why but i could never have a convo like this with my siblings, they would just talk shit behind my back.


    day 1 with out drugs is over...
    i feel clear headed but anxious, sweaty and my throat is wanting a cold one, but ill pass.
     
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  8. formby

    formby learning in progress

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    i might take you on that offer, i can leave on a friday night and come back sunday afternoon.

    lets see
     
  9. jdm_slut

    jdm_slut That JDM girl

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    Thats great! Its good that your taking charge of the situation instead of just complaining, I admire that. It's going to be tough but in the end it'll be well worth it. Besides you've got a beautiful family, friends, and the entire hondaswap community supporting you. Good job :D
     
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  10. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member VIP

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    If you really have acknowledged you have a problem and really want to make a change then you have taken a very big step. You need to do it for your self, it sounds selfish but you have to do it solely because it is what you want. If you are making a change for others at some point you could grow to resent it.

    It sounds like you have the love and support of your family and that is exactly what you need. I wish you the best of luck. Take it one day at a time because that is all you can do.
     
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  11. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    Replace those unhealthy activities with healthy activities. Your body, or atleast your mind, may go through slight withdrawal after constantly being pumped full of drugs and then suddenly sober. Do something to offset those hormones. Start working out, your body will release endorphins and you'll have a natural high. The added bonuses - being able to have a higher quality of life, having more energy, and being healthy for both yourself and family - should be enough, alone.

    There comes a time in your life where you simple can't talk anymore. "Talk is cheap, put up or shut up."
     
  12. klyph

    klyph Dismember VIP

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    Check the sig, beeyotch.

    Take care of your family and they will take care of you. To be honest, you sound really selfish, doing whatever it takes to make yourself feel good without considering those that care about you. You need to selflessly devote yourself to your family, and you'll feel more fulfilled and content than you could any other way.
     
  13. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    this is one of those rare moments where :concur:

    find something positive to replace your bad habits with and push forward full force with them
    it will make your life better overall and will keep your mind off of the shit you are currently doing to fuck your life up... the thoughts of what you are currently doing will eventually become motivation to push forward more and keep you on your new course

    :thumbsup: TB
     
  14. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    :werd:
    the eskimo nails it once again
     
  15. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    As a guy who "couldn't lose his job" when I lost my job, I found out that I could lose my job.

    And manage to keep things. It sucked, but it happened and I pulled through. not saying that my situation is anything close to yours, but the fear of losing a job when you things to protect may not be easy to shake - but you gotta realise that human beings have ingenuity and that ingenuity allows us to adapt, and make good in a situation that we thought couldn't be dealt with.
     
  16. SG51CE

    SG51CE Junior Member

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    Slow down on drinking, it'll help ruin you. Stop smoking, you migh=t need to take a UA for your next job, sit down and rethink how you are doing things. Yu need to analize where you are at at this point and talk it over with your wife. Dont ever think its too late to go back to school. I went back and I'm about to finish(Thamks to student loans)I hope all goes well for you.
     
  17. George777

    George777 ^^ Likes Bewbies

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    Never lower your standards to meet someone else's expectations. Congrats on being clean for a day--I know it's not easy, as I have seen it many times. I can only empathize with you on this one--I have never experienced it on a personal level, but many of my friends have.

    One of the most simplistic, yet ever so striking, comments I ever heard was from a recovering addict a while back. He said, "After a while, drugs will only teach you how to think while on them." Keep up the fight. You and your family will benefit from it.
     
  18. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member VIP

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    I think someone else already said it but I think it should be said again, with the support of your family you can get through this and if all else fails you have all of hondaswap to help you through this. If you or your family need any thing let me know and I will do what I can. Just take it one day at a time and you can make it though this.

    Some of you may know what this is:

    [FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    [/FONT]
     
  19. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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    if you want a 'cold one' go pound an ice tea. :)
     
  20. formby

    formby learning in progress

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    well its almost lunch time and i have not needed to smoke and i have a small urge to have a beer. for the past three month ive drunk4 beers at every lunch time ive had. my head does hurts and i feel anxious but fine and clear headed.



    i did call the community college by my house and set up an appointment with a counselor. to see if i could transfer my old credits. ill be there today if my boss lets me leave work an hour early. i'm thinking about taking public relation classes since i work in customer service and i like the type of work.


    instead of beer i'm going to drink some arizona ice tea. :D



    i spoke to my boss about the way ive been feeling and he told me he was going through a similar situation. we decided that we were going to be supportive of each other so we dont have to do it alone. [we used to drink and smoke a lot together]

    day 2 looking good!
     
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