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My roommates have the worst shits..

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Seany-izzle, Aug 3, 2006.

  1. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    Ok, heres the deal. I live in a 3 bedroom apt with two friends who are currently away on summer jobs, so they sublet it to 3 people from Nebraska. Two sisters and their younger brother, teh younger brother already left because he had school freshmen orientation leader or something.. gay. anyways, so its just the two chicks left, they are by no means attractive... god no. Now, our toilet isnt the best in the world, but it takes my huge loads with ease..... and no nugget floatin around afterwards. I've had that happen a few times, when you know... things got bad, but not regularly... or even weekly.

    As I am typing this one of them just came out of the bathroom, and its right across the hall to my room. Sounds echo in our bathroom very well and the door is an old ass wooden one so sound goes right thru it. My god, 2 minutes ago i heard the two LOUDEST shitting farts in my life... i mean, come ONNNNN turn on the water faucet or something geez. im scared to go in there tonight...

    Back to the poop, I'll go into the bathroom in the morning to shower, clean myself up for work, then ill go to piss, lift up the seat and there it is... the dreaded floater with the yellowy-brown water and little poop sediment floating around it. Every time i see it want to puke, its disgusting. This has happened more than once in a day as well. This bitch has the nastiest shits, because its like... almost everyday i find a floater just wading around in the water. What the fuck is this girl eating that makes her do this to my dear toilet day in and day out??

    ANyways, i needed to tell someone. but to make conversation, how would you handle the situation? BTW, these girls are thick farm chicks from Nebraska, born and raised on a corn/cow/goat farm, they read the bible everyday (they have like 3 copies), and sometimes go to bible study. Scary stuff people. :eek:
     
  2. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    [​IMG]
     
  3. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    If we had two toilets in there, i swear to god thats what would go on.. dammit, why couldnt they atleast be hot!!
     
  4. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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  5. MikeBergy

    MikeBergy Blah blah blah....

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    ROMFFFL!!!!!! Girls take way smellier craps than guys do, hands down. It's because they hold all the farts in, and they start fermenting. Your description almost made me gag though, 'shitting farts'....... lmao!!!!!! That stuff's funny. My ex would make me gag with her crap and farts.
     
  6. Pinky

    Pinky bri's future-psycho-x-gf

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    priceless!:bo:
     
  7. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Print and leave some hints....

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]



    :lol:
     
  8. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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  9. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    [​IMG]


    This is too easy...... :p
     
  10. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    hahahaha these are great.
     
  11. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    I just BLASTED one. You ever take a crap and then your pants fit better... Oh yea..
     
  12. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    ^ LOL

    ever take a crap so huge you thought you were gonna pass out? LOL
     
  13. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    I take a crap every morning and I weigh like literally 2-3lbs less afterwards. I love it. I can count on crapping 2 lbs every morning and my stomach looks much better afterwards, like not nearly as bloated.
     
  14. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    i hardly EVER poop in the morning... i don't know why. i'm a mid-afternoon/night kinda guy :D
     
  15. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    i wish my work would have ass gaskets in the bathrooms there. there are some filthy mother fuckers there that shit.
     
  16. ScrapinSi

    ScrapinSi Senior Member

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    BS! And IIRC, MythBusters did something like this and they proved that you do not lose weight by taking a slam.
     
  17. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    depends on who you are and what you eat....

    I got a calibrated scale at work that we weigh aircraft parts on, and I step on it right before a dump, and I write in pen my weight...I go do the doodoo, and rewiegh myself...and I am lighter.

    most I have lost was 2.5 lbs....most of the times its around 1.5 pounds...

    Urine and poopoo has mass and volume, and those items are weigh-able...even a fart, if the methane gas has a heavier than air weight content...then it can be weighed also.

    I eat a lot of burritos though......
     
  18. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    w3rd, its no joke.

    First thing you did if you were over when you stepped on the scale to weigh in for wrestling, was go take a piss. If you could manage it, because you actually ate something that day, you would go and take a dump. Then if that didn't work, the quick run around with six jackets on.
     
  19. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    Don't remind me about cutting weight for wrestling. I'll have a flashback like a Vietnam vet.
     
  20. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    this thread fuckin rocks!! :lmao:
     
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