Need Help With An Ethics Class
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Celerity
Well-Known Member
Other scenarios ?
sure !
Protestors ! Ecowarriors ! Taxes ! Benefits hikes ! minimum wage affects ! Petroleum reserves ! Land Use ! Native Americans ! NATO taking over your indo-china areas ! Mafias ! Shipping lords ! International Piracy ! Trademark regulations in foriegn countries ! Bootlegging ! Patent regulations ! Local law enforcement ! Tax offices ! The Tamil Tigers ! Natural Disasters ! Maintenance crews in bad-access areas ! Electricity and Cogeneration ! Religious strong arming in Missionary countries ! Religious Strongarming with Muslim hordes ! Labor riots ! high-theft areas ! Liability limits !
Should I continue ?
sure !
Protestors ! Ecowarriors ! Taxes ! Benefits hikes ! minimum wage affects ! Petroleum reserves ! Land Use ! Native Americans ! NATO taking over your indo-china areas ! Mafias ! Shipping lords ! International Piracy ! Trademark regulations in foriegn countries ! Bootlegging ! Patent regulations ! Local law enforcement ! Tax offices ! The Tamil Tigers ! Natural Disasters ! Maintenance crews in bad-access areas ! Electricity and Cogeneration ! Religious strong arming in Missionary countries ! Religious Strongarming with Muslim hordes ! Labor riots ! high-theft areas ! Liability limits !
Should I continue ?
Celerity
Well-Known Member
I feel like Rodney Dangerfield in "Back to School"
"Hey ! Dean Martin ! The low-lands permits alone will cost you thousands. Then there's the teamsters, You gotta grease their palms to pull those permits. Whoa, you don't wanna deal with them. Why not buy an existing factory space and skip all the crap?"
"Hey ! Dean Martin ! The low-lands permits alone will cost you thousands. Then there's the teamsters, You gotta grease their palms to pull those permits. Whoa, you don't wanna deal with them. Why not buy an existing factory space and skip all the crap?"
Celerity
Well-Known Member
All right, settle down, people.
We've got a lot to cover,
and time is short.
There are two kinds of people
in business today...the quick and the dead. So, rather than waste your time this semester... with a lot of
useless theories... we're going to jump right in
with both feet...and create a fictional company
from the ground up.
We'll construct
our physical plant...
we'll set up
an efficient administrative and executive structure...
then we'll manufacture our product and market it. I think you'll find it very interesting and a lot of fun. So, let's start by looking at construction costs of our new factory.
What's the product?
That is immaterial for the purposes of our discussion here. but if it makes you happy let's say we're making tape recorders.
Tape recorders?
Are you kiddin'?
The Japs will kill us
on the labor costs.
OK, fine.Then let's just say they're widgets.
What's a widget?
It's a fictional product.
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
Tell that to the bank.
On the board,
you will see a cost analysis for construction of a 1,000,000 square-foot facility which will encompass both factory and office space and is fully serviced by all utilities a railroad spur line
and a four-bay shipping dock.
Hold it, hold it. Why build?
You're better off leasing...
at a buck and a quarter,
a buck and a half a square foot.
Take your down payment
and put it into CDs...
or something else you can roll
over every couple of months.
Thank you, Mr. Melon, but we'll be concentrating
on finance a little later in the term.For the time being,
let's just concentrate on the construction figures,
shall we?
You'll see the final bottom line
requires the factoring in
of not just the material
and construction costs
but also the architects' fees
and the cost of land servicing.
Oh, you left out
a bunch of stuff.
Oh, really? Like what, for instance?
First of all, you have to grease
the local politicians...
for the sudden zoning problems
that always come up.
Then there's the kickbacks
to the carpenters.
And if you plan on using
any cement in this building...
I'm sure the teamsters
would like to have...
a little chat with you,
and that'll cost you.
Don't forget a little something
for the building inspectors.
There's the long-term costs,
such as waste disposal.
I don't know if you're familiar
with who runs that business...
but I assure you
it's not the boy scouts.
That will be quite enough,
Mr. Melon.
Maybe bribes and kickbacks...
and Mafia payoffs
are how you do business...
but they are not part of
the legitimate business world...
and they're certainly
not part of anything...
I'm teaching in this class.
Do I make myself clear?
Sorry. Just trying to help.
That's all.
Now, notwithstanding
Mr. Melon's input...
the next question for us is
where to build our factory.
How about Fantasyland?
We've got a lot to cover,
and time is short.
There are two kinds of people
in business today...the quick and the dead. So, rather than waste your time this semester... with a lot of
useless theories... we're going to jump right in
with both feet...and create a fictional company
from the ground up.
We'll construct
our physical plant...
we'll set up
an efficient administrative and executive structure...
then we'll manufacture our product and market it. I think you'll find it very interesting and a lot of fun. So, let's start by looking at construction costs of our new factory.
What's the product?
That is immaterial for the purposes of our discussion here. but if it makes you happy let's say we're making tape recorders.
Tape recorders?
Are you kiddin'?
The Japs will kill us
on the labor costs.
OK, fine.Then let's just say they're widgets.
What's a widget?
It's a fictional product.
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
Tell that to the bank.
On the board,
you will see a cost analysis for construction of a 1,000,000 square-foot facility which will encompass both factory and office space and is fully serviced by all utilities a railroad spur line
and a four-bay shipping dock.
Hold it, hold it. Why build?
You're better off leasing...
at a buck and a quarter,
a buck and a half a square foot.
Take your down payment
and put it into CDs...
or something else you can roll
over every couple of months.
Thank you, Mr. Melon, but we'll be concentrating
on finance a little later in the term.For the time being,
let's just concentrate on the construction figures,
shall we?
You'll see the final bottom line
requires the factoring in
of not just the material
and construction costs
but also the architects' fees
and the cost of land servicing.
Oh, you left out
a bunch of stuff.
Oh, really? Like what, for instance?
First of all, you have to grease
the local politicians...
for the sudden zoning problems
that always come up.
Then there's the kickbacks
to the carpenters.
And if you plan on using
any cement in this building...
I'm sure the teamsters
would like to have...
a little chat with you,
and that'll cost you.
Don't forget a little something
for the building inspectors.
There's the long-term costs,
such as waste disposal.
I don't know if you're familiar
with who runs that business...
but I assure you
it's not the boy scouts.
That will be quite enough,
Mr. Melon.
Maybe bribes and kickbacks...
and Mafia payoffs
are how you do business...
but they are not part of
the legitimate business world...
and they're certainly
not part of anything...
I'm teaching in this class.
Do I make myself clear?
Sorry. Just trying to help.
That's all.
Now, notwithstanding
Mr. Melon's input...
the next question for us is
where to build our factory.
How about Fantasyland?
TommyTheCat
Gonzo Scientist
I like the scene with Kinison
[after a female student answered correctly why America pulled out of Vietnam]
Professor Terguson: Is she right? 'Cause I know that's the *popular* version of what went on there. And a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was *there*. I wasn't here in a class room, hoping I was right, thinking about it.
[shouting]
Professor Terguson: I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him; While
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: pussies like you were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: listening to the goddamn Beatle albums! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Thornton Melon: Hey Professor, take it easy. These kids were in grade school at the time, and as for me... I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.
Professor Terguson: You remember that thing we had about 30 years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China?
Professor Terguson: [rips a desk apart] Then take the fucking wall apart
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? Say it! Say it!
Thornton Melon: [incensed] All right. I'll say it. 'Cause Truman was too much of a *pussy wimp* to let MacArthur go in there
Thornton Melon: and blow out those Commie bastards!
Professor Terguson: Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.
Thornton Melon: [to his classmates] Nice guy. Really seems to care. About what I have no idea.
PS. Imdb rules <end rant>
[after a female student answered correctly why America pulled out of Vietnam]
Professor Terguson: Is she right? 'Cause I know that's the *popular* version of what went on there. And a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was *there*. I wasn't here in a class room, hoping I was right, thinking about it.
[shouting]
Professor Terguson: I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him; While
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: pussies like you were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: listening to the goddamn Beatle albums! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Thornton Melon: Hey Professor, take it easy. These kids were in grade school at the time, and as for me... I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.
Professor Terguson: You remember that thing we had about 30 years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China?
Professor Terguson: [rips a desk apart] Then take the fucking wall apart
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? Say it! Say it!
Thornton Melon: [incensed] All right. I'll say it. 'Cause Truman was too much of a *pussy wimp* to let MacArthur go in there
Thornton Melon: and blow out those Commie bastards!
Professor Terguson: Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.
Thornton Melon: [to his classmates] Nice guy. Really seems to care. About what I have no idea.
PS. Imdb rules <end rant>