1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

ok all you college peeps.....

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Aug 23, 2003.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    53
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    50 Ways to Scare People in the Computer Lab


    1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

    2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

    3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.

    4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

    5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.

    6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over and over again.

    7. Work normally for awhile. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

    8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top- secret Pentagon files.

    9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

    10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

    11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

    12. Type on VAX for awhile. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes about everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

    13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

    14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

    15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

    16. Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

    17. "DISK FIGHT!"

    18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (it helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

    19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

    20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

    21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper and tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

    22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge in the 3.5 disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

    23. When you are on an IBM and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

    24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

    25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for awhile, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

    26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

    27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them, and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

    28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

    29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

    30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

    31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

    32. Bring some dry ice and make it look like the computer is smoking.

    33. Assign a musical note to every key (ex. the delete key is A-flat). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

    34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

    35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.

    36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

    37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

    38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

    39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does your delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until, you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

    40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

    41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

    42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRR!" Peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

    43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

    44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

    45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

    46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

    47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard.Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

    48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

    49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week."

    50. Two words: Tesla Coil
     
  2. xj0hnx

    xj0hnx I wanna be sedated VIP

    Messages:
    14,172
    Likes Received:
    48
    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2002
    Location:
    C.C.TX.
    Computer people :wacko: :ph34r:
     
  3. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    53
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    fuck you too then.. lol
     
  4. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

    Messages:
    7,180
    Likes Received:
    121
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Location:
    Oregon
    LOL the chainsaw one is best
     
  5. Prowler

    Prowler Super Moderator

    Messages:
    3,452
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Location:
    B MT
    man those were lame. i think they were just trying to hard. the 50 fun things to do in walmart is much better.
     
  6. cxjon

    cxjon Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,162
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    man+k+toe
    walmart is not all that much fun man
     
  7. JDMilan

    JDMilan Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,730
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Location:
    Boca Raton, FL
    damn be you are lame....LOL .....jk


    Yo post the walmart shit, I am bored and have nothing to do.



    Milan
     
  8. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    79
    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    Location:
    DMV

    :wtf: :ghey:

    :lol:

    Some of those are funny, but the majority of them my 3 year old sister could think up.
     
  9. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

    Messages:
    4,603
    Likes Received:
    16
    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    How To Terrorize McDonalds by The Jolly Roger
    Now, although McDonalds is famous for it's advertising and making the whole world think that the BigMac is the best thing to come along since sliced bread (buns?), each little restaurant is as amateur and simple as a new-found business. Not only are all the employees rather inexperienced at what they're supposed to do, but they will just loose all control when an emergency occurs....here we go!!! First, get a few friends (4 is good...I'll get to this later) and enter the McDonalds restaurant, talking loudly and reeking of some strange smell that automatically makes the old couple sitting by the door leave. If one of those pimply-faced goons is wiping the floor, then track some crap all over it (you could pretend to slip and break your head, but you might actually do so). Next, before you get the food, find a table. Start yelling and releasing some strange body odor so anybody would leave their table and walk out the door. Sit two friends there, and go up to the counter with another. Find a place where the line is short, or if the line is long say "I only wanna buy a coke." and you get moved up. Now, you get to do the ordering ...heh heh heh. Somebody always must want a plain hamburger with absolutely nothing on it (this takes extra time to make, and drives the little hamburger-makers insane)..order a 9-pack of chicken McNuggets...no, a 20 pack...no, three 6 packs...wait...go back to the table and ask who wants what. Your other friend waits by the counter and makes a pass at the female clerk. Get back to the thing and order three 6-packs of chicken etc....now she says "What kind of sauce would you like?". Of course, say that you all want barbecue sauce one of your friends wants 2 (only if there are only 2 containers of barbecue sauce left). Then they hafta go into the storeroom and open up another box. Finally, the drinks...somebody wants coke, somebody root beer, and somebody diet coke. After these are delivered, bring them back and say "I didn't order a diet coke! I ordered a sprite!" This gets them mad; better yet, turn down something terrible that nobody wants to drink, so they hafta throw the drink away; they can't sell it. After all the food(?) is handed to you, you must never have enough money to pay. The clerk will be so angry and confused that she'll let you get away with it (another influence on her is your friend asking her "If you let us go, I'll go out with you." and giving her a fake fone number). Now, back to your table. But first, somebody likes ketchup and mustard. And plenty (too much) of napkins. Oh, and somebody likes forks and knives, so always end up breaking the ones you pick outta the box. Have your friends yell out, “Yay!!!!! We have munchies!!" As loud as they can. That'll worry the entire restaurant. Proceed to sit down. So, you are sitting in the smoking section (by accident) eh? Well, while one of the tobacco-breathers isn't looking, put a sign from the other side of the room saying "Do not smoke here" and he'll hafta move...then he goes into the real non-smoking section, and gets yelled at. He then thinks that no smoking is allowed in the restaurant, so he eats outside (in the pouring rain) after your meal is finished (and quite a few splattered-opened ketchup packets are all over your table), try to leave. But oops! Somebody has to do his duty in the men's room. As he goes there, he sticks an uneaten hamburger (would you dare to eat one of their hamburgers?) Inside the toilet, flushes it a while, until it runs all over the bathroom. Oops! Send a pimply-faced teenager to clean it up. (He won't know that brown thing is a hamburger, and he'll get sick. Wheee!) As you leave the restaurant, looking back at your uncleaned table, somebody must remember that they left their chocolate shake there! The one that's almost full!!!! He takes it then says "This tastes like crap!", Then he takes off the lid and throws it into the garbage can...oops! He missed, and now the same poor soul who's cleaning up the bathroom now hasta clean up chocolate shake. Then leave the joint, reversing the "Yes, we're open" sign (as a reminder of your visit) There you have it! You have just put all of McDonalds into complete mayhem. And since there is no penalty for littering in a restaurant, bugging people in a public eatery (or throw-upery, in this case) you get off scot-free. Wasn't that fun?
     
  10. Loco Honkey

    Loco Honkey Banned

    Messages:
    3,646
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2003

    Dude, those were really lame... Why not entitle it, "how to act like a complete fucking retard and destroy all hopes of having a normal social life at college"?
     
  11. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    53
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    sorry, i dind't make them up :p
     
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page