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Only In America...

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Mar 12, 2003.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America.....are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

    3. Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    5. Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    7. Only in America.....do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    10. Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

    EVER WONDER

    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible! black box that is us! ed on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
     
  2. La_Pieuvre

    La_Pieuvre Senior Member

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    LMFAO :lol:

    I never got this one myself: "Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.", I keep being amazed everytime I pull up to the ATM and see that
     
  3. D See 2

    D See 2 Senior Member

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    werd to everything above. and...

    why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
     
  4. pills_PMD

    pills_PMD Super Moderator

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    yea those are good.
     
  5. ScrapinSi

    ScrapinSi Senior Member

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    Only in America can people repost shit that is 2 years old, and have people still laugh at them... :rolleyes:
     
  6. sisteve

    sisteve Guest

  7. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    I like my Milk one better........... ;)
     
  8. Havok

    Havok Senior Member

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    hey, that's my line! :kick:
     
  9. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    and why is it that we say "i have to take a shit"

    Where are you taking it? You dont take a shit, you leave a shit.
     
  10. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ HAHA.. drop the milk one..
    I like The SHIT one
     
  11. sportlinecrx

    sportlinecrx Banned

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    :lol: LMAO...thats good stuff!
     
  12. sisteve

    sisteve Guest


    me and Noah aka ScrapinSi go way back, to the dawn of Clubsi.com

    so no, I have every right to slap the riceboy around ;)

    haha
     
  13. Canuck 93 Civic Si

    Canuck 93 Civic Si Senior Member

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    :lol: Those are pretty good

    They have Braille kaypads on the radial arm saw at Home Depot too.

    FYI black boxes arent even black, theyre orange... wtf
     
  14. gupta_p

    gupta_p Senior Member

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    How 'bout ..

    "Only in america .. can a dumbass president decide to spend 2x the GNP of a country to destroy it."
     
  15. FFCiv

    FFCiv Senior Member

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    how bout originally only in america can a ass like this talk shit about the president and not be murdered by the goverment for it. Get a life money isn't everything
     
  16. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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  17. liquid00meth

    liquid00meth Senior Member

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    hardcore :roll:
     
  18. lsvtec

    lsvtec GNU/Linux Evangelist

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    Dammit, we need the :stfu_noob: smilie. Anyhow, Nick I am stealing your line.

    Shut the fuck up noob.

    He is welcome to say what he wishes about the president. If you don't like it, don't read it. If this is gets turned into another argument, it's gonna get :locked2:.
     
  19. sportlinecrx

    sportlinecrx Banned

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    haha i get to use this yet again :D bring on the hardcore noobs! eyescream is ready! yo!
    [​IMG]
     
  20. gupta_p

    gupta_p Senior Member

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    Perfection at it's best, right? I'm not sure if I'm catching your sarcasm or not, but I guess what you're trying to say is... "The First Ammendement is baloney. People like you should be murdered for voicing their political opinions."

    My friend, you only decieve yourself if you don't believe money isn't everything. Why do you exist? Well, frankly, you live to die, but while you live, you earn money so that you can push yourself further, and drive our economy to the sky. While the economy isn't in the sky, your life won't be as sweet. Your friendly airlines won't be serving quite as many peanuts (on the average) to their customers. You're rail transportation will be taken from the shitter into the canceled pile. In fact, it's plausible our major social program (the military) could drop from 400 billion dollars in funding to .. wait for it .. only the summation of the top 26 countries in the world directly below us (instead of the top 27).

    See, you're lost in a mass of nationalistic pride (where it really doesn't belong). We may very well lose americans in the line of fire (because .. contrary to popular belief, those Iraqis actually have cylindrical sticks, that contain projectile ammunition that can lead to fatal injury.) But wait, you randomily said, "a ass like this talk shit about the president" because you are nothing more than a drone. You care less about the people that go out there, or the money invovled with this, then you care about your president?

    Bush isn't going to die in the line of fire. YOU ARE. lol. Werd.


    Now, who's "a ass." Grammar is a magical thing, but I don't pretend to know anything about it. I just hope you might learn a bit about it.

    (edit: lsvtec, gratzi!)
     
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