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political corrections

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by eg6sir, Mar 6, 2006.

  1. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
    You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

    And furthermore ....

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


    1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

    2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

    3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

    4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

    5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

    6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

    7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

    8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

    9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

    10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

    11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

    12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."



    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

    2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

    3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

    4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

    5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

    6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

    7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

    8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

    9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

    10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

    11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
     
  2. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    chuckle :)
     
  3. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    heh heh

    horizontally accessible.
     
  4. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    i LOVE IT! [​IMG]
     
  5. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. Citizen_Insane

    Citizen_Insane Senior Member

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    ^^ thats the only one I found really funny.
     
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