Pondering the meaning of life.

[Celerity]

So my questions.

1)what makes you wake up every day?
2)how do you cure a case of the "blahs"?
3)what do you see in the future that makes you smile?

1) I hate sleeping because my dreams are far better than my reality. Even the bad ones. I hate going to sleep because when I awake I mostly awake into the nightmare. On a note that actually answers your question, I hope that one day the one person in my life that I actually WANT to see what I see, will see it. Everyday I wake up, basically, to show others that what I'm capable of (And myself, which is a great sense of fulfillment)

2) A bike ride. The connection I feel between the world and my mind is good in a travelling car, but seamless on my bike. Driving and Biking are two things that I'm actually really good at. We all feel fulfillment through acheivement.

3) It's very difficult to find something good in the future. The only thing I see is Hope, Hope for any number of things. Hope, as history shows, is mostly crushed by a reality. The secret to me seeing happiness in the future is to abandon ANY expectation, either way.


What you may be experiencing is Wanderlust. Some call it "a rut" or "mid life crisis" or whatever. More than specific "what you need is" Dr Phil shit, is the very real , objective observation in you, me and a lot of us. We have a hole in our minds - at this point. At other times, the void may be filled. It may be overfilled. You may want children, and pine for that hole in your life to be filled - but are you prepared to have a special needs child ? Careful what you ask for, without actually knowing what you want.

Remember the 3 questions, ask them of yourself frequently and answer yourself honestly. There is more than one answer, and your answers are able to change moment to moment, event for event.

 

[Celerity]

If you want my advice, nick. Get rid of the bike,

NO NO NO NO NO NO.... Riding a motorcycle is something that can NOT be described. It is the closest thing to adventure one can have without being the main character in an action movie. If you ride, you can NEVER get rid of your bike.

I'll go homeless and be happy. Don't touch my bike.

 

[get_nick]

NO NO NO NO NO NO.... Riding a motorcycle is something that can NOT be described. It is the closest thing to adventure one can have without being the main character in an action movie. If you ride, you can NEVER get rid of your bike.

I'll go homeless and be happy. Don't touch my bike.

true, for a mere $250/month, i can find happiness. when it isn't snowing or 34 degree rain.

i need to do some soul searching for a while. find out what really makes me happy. paying bills such as rent/credit cards/school loans, sure as fuck wear me out.

 

[Celerity]

Quantum Physics teaches us that every moment, a new universe can be created. Our decisions create our universes. (Parallel universes) Everyday we are faced with literally millions of life-changing decisions, yet we choose the same thing everyday.

Yoga and Karma tells us that these things are Addictions. We harbor addictions and our decisions are made to satiate those addictions. This is where Work, paying bills, blah blah comes in.

With these addictions, we are holding back our full potential. Fuller consciousness allows us to observe ourselves and those around us without making judgement. This is so difficult that to be this enlightened, the Dalai Llama believes that we will become pure energy. Levitation, healing, second-sight and other abilities are a result of serene enlightening.

It's not at all easy to look at yourself without judgement, but to start you can read a lot of what myself and others say when we point out that "You're ok" and "It's not your fault".

By identifying what you can and can not (or should not) control or alter, you can solve your problems. Solving a problem requires identifying that problem accurately. If you wish to shoot a target, you will never get the bullseye when you can't properly identify the target.

And most of us find such suffering in our personal problems because we can't accurately phrase them. And how can anyone solve a problem that they can't properly identify ? It's not just you, it's everyone. And this isn't your "fault". The landscape becomes far more complicated in today's reality than it was in the past. If you can just recognise that you aren't solving your problems because you have yet to properly phrase your problems, then you are already enlightened, and on your way to serenity.

 

[get_nick]

with taking a little reflection, i realize that i have been lying to myself. i keep thinking i want to do this whole "career" and grown up life bullshit. but i really don't. i want to make enough money to pay bills and focus on two other things. sports and music. my goal has always been to make a cd before i'm 30. haven't even gotten the recording equipment. and i want to play football. there is a semi-pro league here in washington i know i could make. but with all things, i get side tracked.

can't pay for equipment because i have bills. can't lift weights or spend money on supplements, yadda yadda. can't dedicate more time, because i have to work, study, spend time with the gf, maintain the house, etc. i get bitter because money is the root of my problems. more money=less work and headaches and more time for stuff i want to do.

 

[Celerity]

Whether you say you can, or can't - You're right

 

[get_nick]

Whether you say you can, or can't - You're right

you're right. i make the decisions on whether or not the stuff happens. just like you don't "have" to do anything. you just suffer the consequences of the decision.

i guess i have to decide what is important to me. my dreams and happiness or being content and living a menial life. it really shouldn't be this hard.

 

[93civicracer]

What kind of house do you live in? Payments are how high?

Because from what people say here, you're making pretty damn good money. Personally, even if I were making $100,000/year, I'd MUCH rather outright buy me a cheap ass house like a mobile home with LOW ass bills and still live fairly cheap, shit that way I'd have plenty of money to maintain the place or pay someone to maintain it, bills would be very low, and I'd have a load of money left over for the things I like to do which would currently be, building my Civic but of course with that money I'd buy a better car. That'd also give me money to get important things done, like get my mom, my brother, and myself to a doctor for a check up. My mom hasn't seen a doctor in 7 years, my brother about 2 years, and I haven't seen one since I could remember. Plus since I'd be living cheap, I could easily afford more time off. You'd never see me living in a mansion or upscale housing, even if I COULD afford it. Now I may have a more upscale garage tho .

 

[Celerity]

The life you lead, you lead for a reason. It's not a torture.

Going to work and paying bills may not be the problem.

Remember what I said: You may not be able to solve this problem because you're not identifying it appropriately.

 

[Celerity]

What kind of house do you live in? Payments are how high?

Because from what people say here, you're making pretty damn good money. Personally, even if I were making $100,000/year, I'd MUCH rather outright buy me a cheap ass house like a mobile home with LOW ass bills and still live fairly cheap, shit that way I'd have plenty of money to maintain the place or pay someone to maintain it, bills would be very low, and I'd have a load of money left over for the things I like to do which would currently be, building my Civic but of course with that money I'd buy a better car. That'd also give me money to get important things done, like get my mom, my brother, and myself to a doctor for a check up. My mom hasn't seen a doctor in 7 years, my brother about 2 years, and I haven't seen one since I could remember. Plus since I'd be living cheap, I could easily afford more time off. You'd never see me living in a mansion or upscale housing, even if I COULD afford it. Now I may have a more upscale garage tho .

That's also pretty wrong thinking, but you're thinking

I would love to pay cheap prices - but you get what you pay for. I do have that upscale garage now, and really nice hardwood floors that guests compliment me on, and electrical service that other homeowners dream about

 

[Briansol]

If you make 100k a year and live in a doublewide, you might be jeff foxworthy.

 

[93civicracer]

Well as far as I can see that'd be about right. I mean cheap living and I'm content with a mobile home. So in the case I were making $100,000/year I'd have way more money than I'd even know what to do with for hobbies, vacations, travel, anything. I'd be happy with even just 30k/year, not that I wouldn't shoot for more but not to the point where I'd stress over it with too many hours, just comfortable you know.

That's what's up with me right now too. I can't seem to find a job that makes me enough money (while going to school) to pay my mom the $150/month rent and gas for the Civic, and have any of it left over. I've been getting really irritable until reading some of your posts. They didn't even specify my problems but got me thinking tho.

 

[Celerity]

He makes that a fuckin week.

I have learned that the house is more important than the Car. Even the Bike. It's quite rewarding when you have a great home to come home to.

 

[LS_VTEC]

very good words. rep 4 u!

bah, i have some time alone tonight. the wifey is going to be working late. maybe i'll get some booze and watch a movie i don't get to see when i'm with her. maybe eat some fatty foods too. and tomorrow i'll try to figure out a way to get out of this rut.

That is what I said...where is my rep bro? JK

 

[93civicracer]

If you make 100k a year and live in a doublewide, you might be jeff foxworthy.

hahahaha I'm actually good with a non double wide

edit: but not without a garage I'd really like one...my bedroom is maybe a 9x9 max, and that includes the closet, and my room is a complete mess of parts I got the IM, all a/c parts, old wiring harness, a shit load of my old Civic parts all over the floor cause there's no room for it

 

[Celerity]

But lemme clarify this: If you CAN live in a trailer - then DO IT.

Two people in a trailer with all their shit, tough. Two people in a trailer with 4 cars and a pile of bikes, tougher. 2 people, 4 cats and a kid or parent to care for - Trailers are pretty much out of the question.

 

[Briansol]

you're 17 dude. you have no concept of money yet.

When i was in highschool, i was rolling in 250 ish a week at the restaurant, and i was RICH! i bought my del sol cash, i ate out 15 times a week, etc etc.

Hell, I lived 'better' as in more freely back then than I do now making 6 times the money.

 

[93civicracer]

Shit I can live anywhere that's sealed with a door and a window and has a/c and heat, bathroom, and a kitchen, and electricity.

Home quality and size doesn't mean shit to me just as long as it's clean and not broken down, and has what I stated above just the necessities. The garage and car is more important to me.

EDIT: B, I have a good concept of money, believe me. I used to make that much at a restaurant, that's how I saved up for my Civic I bought it cash also. But I've been paying rent since I was 12, at least half of what I make has always gone to rent, and now that I'm barely making $100 every 2 WEEKS cause I can't get the hours, it's real hard just paying rent and gas. That's all I can do now is get my ass around, but I have no money to do anything. For the longest time I thought my mom was bullshitting, spending mine and my brother's rent money on something else, so I sat down with her and went over our total income that goes to bills, and we ARE barely making it in a trailor park. A broken ass fucked up trailor park that is. I had it made at the chinese place, during summer I was bankin $700/2weeks making PLENTY of money at the time but I left on bad terms no way I can get it back.

 

[Celerity]

Don't feel bad though. B has no concept of money either

 

[Celerity]

Shit I can live anywhere that's sealed with a door and a window and has a/c and heat, bathroom, and a kitchen, and electricity.

Home quality and size doesn't mean shit to me just as long as it's clean and not broken down, and has what I stated above just the necessities. The garage and car is more important to me.

Chris Rock said something about this... "Women want the house, the car, the yard... All men want is a place to fuck in. We'll take a refrigerator box."