1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

pretty good joke

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by infamouz, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Location:
    Sacramento, C.A.
    Ok so there is beef between honda's and acura's right. so he saw a traffic cop giving a ticket to a honda.
    one guy went to the shop the other day, was only in there for about 5 minutes and when he came out there was a traffic cop writing a parking ticket.

    So he went up to him and said, "Come on mate, I was only in there 3 minutes" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

    So he called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!

    So he called him a horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!

    This went on for about 20 minutes, the more he abused him, the more tickets he wrote. he didn’t give a damn. his car was parked around the corner.
    i dont thinks its that funny but damn i guess i tried to come up with one, and that it.
     
  2. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

    Messages:
    4,603
    Likes Received:
    16
    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  3. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Location:
    Sacramento, C.A.
    ok so i fucked up, ill try to make up another one.

    ever try to find a way to eat pussy. i think this onw is better. this is for you sweet.
    This guy walks into a bar carrying a frog. He sits down on an open bar stool and sets the frog down on the bar. The bartender takes one look at the man and his frog and says, "Hey buddy, you can’t bring that frog in here!" The man stands up and picks up his frog. "You don’t understand," says the man, "this is a special frog!" "what’s so special about it?" asks the bartender. "this my friend, is the worlds first ever pussy eating frog!" exclaimes the man. "well I don’t care what kind of frog it is, get it the hell off of my bar." says the bartender. So, the man is walking towards the nearest exit with his frog when the most beautiful woman the man has ever seen stops him. "excuse me," she says, "did I hear you wrong or did you say that your frog eats pussy?""Why yes, yes it does," says the man. "ok!"says the woman, "here’s what I want you to do...Come upstairs to the hotel room number seven tonight at midnight, and bring your frog. I’ll be waiting." So the guy brings the frog upstairs to room number seven at midnight. He finds the door half open. The woman says, "come in it’s unlocked.". The man and his frog find the woman laying on the bed spread eagle completely naked. "Ok," says the woman, "put that frog to work!" The guy sets the frog on the womans thigh and says, "go frog, go!" but the frog just sits there staring at him. "it’s alright, sometimes it takes him a little while to get going," the man says. "go frog, go!" he says once more, but again the frog just stares at him. The woman sighs and says, "I think you are a liar, I don’t think your frog eats pussy at all!" The man says, "wait, give it one more chance." He says, "go frog go!" but the frog just sits there motionless so the man reaches down and picks up the frog and says, "Damnit frog, this is the last time I’m going to show you how to do this!" [​IMG]
     
  4. hatchback

    hatchback Member

    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Soooo.. Did you actually make that one up on your own? Although long, its quite funny. :thumbsup:

    Almost makes up for the first one.
     
  5. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

    Messages:
    10,279
    Likes Received:
    60
    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2004
    Location:
    Southern Oregon Coast
    Sorry, I don't read Idiot.
     
  6. DarkHand

    DarkHand Senior Member VIP

    Messages:
    5,117
    Likes Received:
    241
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2002
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    The first one makes absolutely no sense at all.

    The second one isn't half bad. :mrgreen:
     
  7. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    the idea for the first one is good...
    but a couple things...

    honda vs acura is not a rivalry, they are the same company for all intents and purposes...

    it should have been honda and VW...
    and the concept is the guy keeps provoking the cop (who is under the impression the provoker owns the car) to keep writing tickets, but in reality the guys car is parked around the corner...
    and the frog one is ok

    dude, seriously, invest the time in a grammar and spell check in word or something, it will make it much easier to read your posts...
     
  8. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

    Messages:
    4,603
    Likes Received:
    16
    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    the frog one is pretty funny. the first one made no sense at all, though i did get the idea, its just your spelling and grammar sucked in that one
     
  9. ScrapinSi

    ScrapinSi Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,292
    Likes Received:
    4
    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    you didn't write that frog one... its about 10 years old... :p
     
  10. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Location:
    Sacramento, C.A.
    YATZEE!!!!!!!!
     
  11. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,969
    Likes Received:
    146
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    You actually make me angry.
     
  12. B16RacerN2NR

    B16RacerN2NR Working Hard VIP

    Messages:
    6,148
    Likes Received:
    99
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Location:
    Moving back West...
    :werd: he pretty much made up a joke that he knew no one would understand, then the second joke is supposed to redeem him.
     
  13. micah

    micah Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,513
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2002
    Location:
    panama city beach, florida

    lmao
     
  14. MugenCRX

    MugenCRX Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2003
    Location:
    Thornton CO
    He didn't make up the first one either. I heard it a long time ago from my uncle. Anyways, both are fairly silly, when told correctly.
     
  15. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Location:
    Sacramento, C.A.
    BINGO!!!!!
    ok how about this one.
    The lion gathers all animals to a meeting and tells him that no one is allowed to use condoms anymore because the jungle needs to increase its population. One day the fox sees that the donkey is wearing a condom and is ready to have sex. The fox runs to lion and tells him about the donkey wearing a condom. When the lion confronts the donkey, the donkey says " that’s not a condom, it is a snake giving me a blow job!"
     
  16. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

    Messages:
    11,090
    Likes Received:
    408
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2002
    Location:
    Washington
    [​IMG] Ok that was kind of funny.
     
  17. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    79
    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    Location:
    DMV
    Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?












    They're too many Targets.
     
  18. Havok

    Havok Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,827
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Florida
  19. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

    Messages:
    10,279
    Likes Received:
    60
    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2004
    Location:
    Southern Oregon Coast
    [​IMG]

    Not only was it completely unfunny, but this is the kind of shit this board doesn't need.
     
  20. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Location:
    Sacramento, C.A.
    uh oh its the last time i cut and paste. oops. yeah i deserve tha ban. as longs as its temporary. well ill see you guys in a week. but really its not my joke, it was copy and pasted off internet, try it out.
     
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page