1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Pulling a B

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reikoshea, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    12,633
    Likes Received:
    193
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    I get this sneaking suspision that it is going to be a VERY long day. I have a 10 hour shift (maybe more....but scheduled for 10) and at the end of it i will have been up for 60 hours. So I'll start at the beginning.

    Well, Monday was a really long fucking day, so i just sat at home for a lil while on Tuesday (i have Tuesday Wednesday and Saturday off currently) got a hair cut (no more hippie hair), went up to starbucks, tried to correct my jacked up video drivers im using on my laptop (linux). Well i ended up TOTALLY fucking up the Xorg config, and, like the intelligent person I am, i didnt back the bitch up before starting. I finished up that, and just decided to back to a friend of mine's house, get changed and prepare for whatever fun we were gonna have that night. Fun is definitely one way to describe what i had Tuesday.

    So, like all nights, it starts at Starbucks, pretty normal, until, of course, the emo kids show up. So, we took that as our cue to relocate. We go to Shirlocks (bar), shoot some pull, the shit, and jose cuervo (this is where the night gets interesting). I should point out that Shirlocks (bar) is about 2 minutes from my current apartment...walking. So, anyway, we are shooting Jose (and around midnight, I was shooting jose alone) finally around shot number 6, beer number 3, and last call, my friend and i decide its best to go home. MOST people would pass out once they hit home. No, not me...FUCK NO. I go home lay on the couch and my body will not fucking pass out. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. So i grab some beer and tylenol PM and try to help things along. Apparently, im as wired as a fucking 4 year old with a bar of chocolate. So....I go take a long walk to wear myself out ....but when i say walk...i mean more of just a crazy swagger around the apartment complex for about 30 minutes. I go back inside, and by this time its already around 5:00am. I laid back down on the couch (my friend stole the bed, and i didnt really care). Closed my eyes.......and nothing....wide awake, just with my eyes shut. So i thinks to myself:

    "Self....what will put us to sleep?"

    "Fast & the Furious will make you sleep."

    So I get the movie, and turn on directors commentary for added effect........and watched the whole damn thing (btw, Monica, the chick Ja Rule was feelin up in the first race....just some random chick outa Ja's trailer....if you care).

    Its now 7am and im actually sobering up quite nicely. I took a shower and was like....ya know what, i feel really damn good right now...of all things i feel good. I checked all the message boards i post on and then decided, LETS GO TO AUTOZONE. So i go to autozone and try to pick up the ball joint i ordered 3 weeks ago (I told them i had been out of the country for the last 3 weeks....they bought it). So, of course when i get there, the part wasnt in stock (i really didnt expect it to be), and the chick re-ordered it for me, and printed me a new receipt because "The night people wont believe you havent picked this up yet". So, its about 8am right now, and im bored as all hell, so i go back to my apartment and search for "Wi-fi Laundromat" and ill be damned there is one close to my apartment. So i went and did some laundry, talked on here for a bit, played some video games, and went home.....and then to starbucks (I have to get out of the house and it was a BEAUTIFUL day to sit out side, smoke, and geek out). Sat up there, got my neck licked by a lesbian, got her to take off her bra so we could determine if she was actually a 34B like she insisted or if she was infact a 34C like the 5 of us maintained. I think we ended up winning that confrontation....she just went to work once we starting cheering. I watched some laptop TV, and then went to Twin Peaks to watch the mavs game. Jose came out again this time too, but he didnt stick around too long. I only had 3 shots and two beers during the game (cause i thought i was gonna go home and crash....but no, my friend had to be born that day. SOOO after the game, we went to Scooters (random bar) and everyone else finished themselves off....while i enjoyed the 1 budwiser i had at that bar (and the last drink of a friend's guiness).

    Youd think the night would be over since we closed down the bar (meaning walked out the door at 2), but you would be wrong. After we left the bar we had to get the really drunk people home. So, we all piled in the SUV that got us there and then the real fun began (because i got to drive a lot of cars id never driven before...mainly cause i wouldnt want to, but fun none the less).

    So I take the drunken german to his house first (cause he insisted that he could get his car back in the morning).

    Pretty uneventful. Then i take home the older woman thats with us (meaning she's old enough to be my mom, and she used to hang out with her). That was fun cause she was trying to walk up the stairs to her apartment and then she tripped and skinned up her arms really good. Then the other girl i was with decided she was gonna piss at the older woman's house....and she fell asleep on the toilet...with the door locked. Oh yes, its a fun night tonight. Anyways, we get her out of the bathroom, and all pile into the sober dude's suburban and head back to twin peaks. I then drive the girl home (with sober dude following us). Repeat again with the each of the gay guys cars (btw, the turbo beetle is strangely quick).

    Around 3:30 we had FINALLY dropped everyone off...........but it was still 30 more minutes till i got home. I checked my email, boards and all that junk, and it was almost 4:00....and i have to be at work by 7:00 (actually 8, but i wanted to make my hour up that i was late the other day). If i had gone back to sleep i would not have woken up to go to work, so of course i took my shower watched assignment discovery, and then figured, what the hell, ill go get some breakfast at tom thumb, get my cigarettes and ill be good to go. So i go to tom thumb, grab my waffles, grab the WD40 (ball joint is squeaking again :( ) and try to check out. Well of course at 6:30 in the morning there is only one check out line open. So i wait patiently for this 104 year old woman to finally get her debit card to work (canceled the transaction a half dozen times trying to get cash back)...and then she had so many groceries and she was so feeble that she could not actually get her groceries into the car...so the cashier, being the nice guy he is, walked her to her car. I continue to wait (because, hey im not in a huge hurry or anything, and the next closest grocery store is a 10-15 minute drive) and then when he comes back in.......he breaks the bomb shell.....THEY ARE OUT OF FUCKING CAMEL LIGHTS. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU OUT OF CAMEL LIGHTS!? Anyway, after my 30 minute trip to tom thumb, its now 7:00 (my planned time to go to work)...and i still have to go to CVS to get cigs. Thankfully that went smoothly.

    I finally get on the highway (i live like 4 miles from the office) and OF COURSE there is already a wreck....4 miles...30 minutes....i coulda walked faster. I smoke another cigarette in the parking garage...sit down at my desk and its 7:45. Enough time to get a cup of coffee and make my waffles....

    And now, still at work...took the pizza an hour and a half to get here. thank god its still hot. im gonna eat now because ive been typing this thing on and off all freakin day.

    hope you enjoyed the story of my life.
     
  2. smarty009

    smarty009 Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,243
    Likes Received:
    7
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Location:
    Warner Robins, GA
    cliff notes...lol...

    nah...but i gather it is the all nighter stuff...dang man...that sucks!
     
  3. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,969
    Likes Received:
    146
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    You lead a really unhealthy life.

    Paranomia FTW
     
  4. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    12,633
    Likes Received:
    193
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    :cliffs:

    woke up
    got a hair cut
    went to starbucks
    broke linux on my laptop
    emo kids came
    went to the bar
    had fun with jose
    couldnt go to sleep
    walked
    watched F&F with the commentary
    went to auto zone
    did some laundry
    went to starbucks
    got my neck licked by a lesbian
    got the same lesbian to take off her bra
    watched the mavs game
    went to another bar
    drove a whole hell of a lot of drunk people home
    old woman couldnt use the credit card reader at the grocery store
    cashier at the grocery store walked old woman out when he was the only person there
    grocery store didnt have camel lights
    wreck on the highway super early in the morning
    pizza took over an hour
    im at work

    THE END
     
  5. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    gay guys?
    lesbians licking your neck and removing their bras?
    chick passed out on the toilet...
    interesting
     
  6. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

    Messages:
    11,939
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    Location:
    Washington State
    the only thing missing was a squirrel, 3 watermelons, and a blow torch and it would be a great day.
     
  7. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,969
    Likes Received:
    146
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Steers and Queers
     
  8. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    30,034
    Likes Received:
    3,961
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    and here i was expecting to see a story of you banging a black chick

    :shrug:
     
  9. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

    Messages:
    16,123
    Likes Received:
    1,020
    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    :withstupid: I read all that shit and was disappointed...
     
  10. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    ttiwwop?
    and what sort of neck licking was it?
    like sucking on your neck? or just wiping her lesbian tongue cootie infected saliva all over you?
     
  11. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    12,633
    Likes Received:
    193
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    lol, it was almost like a dog lick. but from the bottom of my neck to my jaw. crazy stuff.

    sorry no black chick banging.

    i did miss a part of the story though. after i took the younger chick home, i smoked a cigarette (cause i couldnt smoke in ANYONES car). so i get out and light a cigarette and when i look up there is this dude in a circuit city shirt suddenly in front of me. I swear to god, i dont know how the hell he did it. He was on a bicycle, and just givin me this weird stare.

    He looks at me for a couple seconds and he says, "okay, you guys seem cool. I need your help. Im hunting vampires in the store over there." Of course it would be too easy for the vampires to be in the circuit city....no they are in the home depot...or at least thats where he was pointing. "Those fucking nocturnals are trying to take over our town". At this point the four of us are just in the WTF mode....this kid is on some killer shit. Youd think that he would have kept goin on about the vampires....but there must have been a shift in the moon. In an instant he went to "Hey man, you holdin?". of course im not, so i tell him so, and hes like..."thats the wrong answer man, your supposed to ask if im a cop." and im sitting there thinking 'why the fuck would i ask if im not holding?'. Im a little freaked out at this point, so i ask the question..."You a cop?", and he responds, "naw i aint a pig". After that, he insists that im holding out on him and shit. And ten he makes the comment "dude, if i was a fucking cop i would have already picked you up"...which i know for a fact to be total bullshit and i told him so, "Well if you WERE a cop youd know that the only way you can arrest me is if money and product changes hands....and i guess he missed part of my statement cause he pulled this third grader move. he tossed a $20 bill at my hand and then grabbed me by the wrist. Of course, this kid is fucking gone on something so i peel his wrist off me and twist his arm around to his back and put him on the ground. On the way down and while he was squirming on the ground he was like "FUCK FUCK FUCK, I KNEW YALL WERE COPS, I KNEW IT. FUCK YALL, I DIDNT BUY SHIT, I WAS FUCKIN WITH YA."

    Calmly i explain to him that he needs to pick up his money, get back on his bike and get the fuck outa there. As i let him up he grabs his money and hops on his bike. Cept this kid of course takes the hard way out and trys to go between one on dude's jetta and the other dudes suburban.....he didnt hit either of them, but a friend of mine now has an extra $23 since the crack head dropped his cash on the ground.

    Without a doubt, that was the most random experience of my life.

    I dont know why it didnt make my original telling of this story.
     
  12. klyph

    klyph Dismember VIP

    Messages:
    6,342
    Likes Received:
    262
    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2006
    Location:
    North Pole, AK
    LMAO

    Gotta love the crackheads. They make us ALL look good.
     
  13. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

    Messages:
    12,930
    Likes Received:
    734
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Maryland
    how is this pulling a B? you got licked and saw tits in one day? nope not pulling a B =)
     
  14. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    12,633
    Likes Received:
    193
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    not sleeping....cept i think my day was more eventful than B's usual days without sleep.
     
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page