my thoughts on this: get her out of your mind for five minutes and do this: you gotta take some time and visualize what kind of relationship will make you happy; define it, list what it is like, and what it isn't like; what happens, and what doesn't happen; what you will tolerate, and what you won't.
then apply everything you know about her, you, the past, and present sitch. then put your motherfucking foot down and say to yourself and her too, 'i will only have relationships that make me feel x and allow me to y. anything else is wasting my time.'
after you've made that abundantly clear to yourself, and to her, check reality against your ideal relationship; if it isn't an 80% match, tell her to hit the fucking road and piss up a rope.
if you aren't capable of this, you're still willing to suffer entirely too much for da poon, and as such, deserve to eat ham with the drama llama.