Questioning life

[BrutalB83]

Yeah, if there aren't a lot of mutual friends or social situations where you're going to have to see each other, then it's best to just cold turkey it. And especially if this woman is now engaged to someone else, there's just not much good that will come from trying to interact with her. Most likely, any continued interaction with her at this point is going to look like:

Jerm: "I'm hurt. I want you back."

Her: "I understand. I'm sorry."

Nope, nope, nope. That just prolongs the hurt. Gotta cut her out.

Also, working on improving yourself post breakup is always a great thing to do, but I would caution that one should not approach self-improvement with even the slightest hint of "if I improve myself, I'll get her back some day" in your mind. 9 times out of 10, that just leads to (once again) prolonging the hurt.

Improve yourself for yourself.

 

[E_SolSi]

 

[D16Civic]

Haha E I was gonna look for that the other night but I got lazy.

 

[E_SolSi]

someone had to do it

 

[invisibledemon]

my thoughts on dating somebody with kids:

while dating, the parent should always put the kids first. you are dating, meaning not permanent. the kids are. they should always come first.
when/if you get married. you both put the kids first. always.
as far as im concerned, when you marry into kids, they become your kids. whether they are your flesh and blood is irrelevant. they are yours now. treat them as such.
too many people are married and still say "his kid" or "her kid". this not only shows the kid that you have no desire to form a solid connection and bond, but if you both have kids from previous relationships, it can breed conflict and unhealthy competition between them. nothing better than having kids compete to make the others look like the bad kids.

 

[SlushboxTeggy]

Definitely agree. I have a friend that married into 2 kids. Even her sister says they are her nephews. It helps that the kids are awesome.

And E, I know a guy that has "F bitches, Get $" tattooed on his inner lip. Guy is successful. He has definitely acquired currency.

 

[Briansol]

He's probably miserable....

 

[JermBizzle]

The kids were pretty great, the boys reminded me a lot of their father, which unfortunately lived less than a mile away, and because they reminded me of him, I think thats why I didn't bond quite as well as I did with her daughter. Her father was never in the picture, and she was a little older (14), I generally get along better with girls, so I think thats why we done much better.

She definitely put the kids first, that was no secret. I struggled with that sometimes since I wasn't used to it.

 

[JermBizzle]

Most likely, any continued interaction with her at this point is going to look like:

Jerm: "I'm hurt. I want you back."

Her: "I understand. I'm sorry."

Nope, nope, nope. That just prolongs the hurt. Gotta cut her out.

We haven't spoken since I told her about how I was feeling. She always texts me first because I don't want to interrupt them. All thats ever really said is "hope you're doing well", and some kind of reminder or picture to show me that she still thinks about me all the time.

 

[reckedracing]

todays healthy mental exercise
think of one thing you are thankful or grateful for
one positive thing to focus on for the day, and put a smile on your face

 

[Briansol]

We haven't spoken since I told her about how I was feeling. She always texts me first because I don't want to interrupt them. All thats ever really said is "hope you're doing well", and some kind of reminder or picture to show me that she still thinks about me all the time.

Tell her to stop. Tell her to leave you alone. Block her number if you have to.

 

[BrutalB83]

Tell her to stop. Tell her to leave you alone. Block her number if you have to.

Werd.

Either she's not over you yet or she thinks she's helping you by doing this. Either way, she needs to stop. If she's engaged to someone now and there's no chance that you guys will be together again, then it's really pointless to do this. It just prolongs the pain and interferes with the moving on process.

 

[E_SolSi]

 

[B16]

my rule is this:
If i ever get to the point, that im ready and willing to end it. i will sell what can be sold quickly, get whatever funds i can scrape together, pack only what will fit into a backpack and leave. go to the nearest airport and buy a ticket.
if you're ready to off yourself, then at that point any debt you have becomes nothing to you, any ties you have to anything (job, people, etc.) are nothing. if you were ready to end it, then all of that would be over anyway.
its like suicide, except you still get to live, and most likely would result in you actually living.

This is genius.

 

[JermBizzle]

Really appreciate the pm's I've got lately, knowing other people who have been there care enough to send encouragement to a total stranger means a LOT to me.

 

[reckedracing]

 

[JermBizzle]

That would ruin any kind of recovery I've started if I got that text. Shes not sent anything like that though thankfully.

 

[Briansol]

BLOCK HER

 

[JermBizzle]

I'll have to figure out how, noted lol.
Looking into getting a bike soon, walking is boring.

 

[B16]

I'll have to figure out how, noted lol.
Looking into getting a bike soon, walking is boring.

Agreed, biking is much more enjoyable than walking.