Redneck Math Challenge I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A )'65 Ford Fairlane B ) '86 Dodge Diplomat C ) '80 Ford pickup. 3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? 5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed? 6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? 7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? 8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer? I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't cha? It's okay if ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya there's a hole heap of things that big city book learning don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK MATH CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece... Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place a delivery order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

The other day I bought a hamburger and a beverage at McDonalds for $3.58. The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s...... Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the pric! e, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? ! Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math In 1990 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.) Teaching Math In 2006 Un! ranchero vende una carretera de maderapara $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar

I have actually used a subshop, to get to a pizza place, to get me to my friend's house... to get me home. ...and Silverchild's joke... is the truth.

<<<<<Will never drive home drunk again when any place that delivers is open. And then when you get home you have a pizza... you win twice. And the other math thing isn't completely true. I'm really good at math. and thats pretty much the reason I don't work at McDonald's.

I never really thought about the drunk driving home bit. That's incredibly smart. But shit, that isn't the truth about math. I had calculus by the time I was in 10th grade. Edit: I worked at bk though. We didn't hire just anyone. Most people had to have some kind of drug addiction or fit the clinical obeste scale.

1. 2 inches 2. The Dodge Diplomat 3. One 4. 24 5. One 6. Absolutely 7. 65% (+-5%) 8. 81% (+-5%) Naah, math is alive and well in the good ol USA. The poor use it to figure out the street value of the eightballs they're slinging and the rich use it to figure out how to pay zero taxes at the end of the year.

indians and asian people are so much better at math than americans. i have first hand experience with this... i thought i could do calculus until i started grad school, now the asians and indians fuckin kill me.